so, ex-smokers, is this normal?

by Vivamus 17 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Vivamus

  You know, every time when I quit smoking I hit this point where I break down, and cry like a little girl. Unhappy with practically every aspect of my life. I miss those I have lost so much. And I wish for things I will never get from those still in my life. Every word spoken to me that otherwise would just sting me, hurts like its ripping me apart now.

  It makes me wonder if I use those nicotine drugs to just be able to keep smiling. Since I left the JW, I have been on drugs, one or another. Before the ciggies I used stuff which was way more harmfull. Before the drugs I was a JW, and totally unhappy, before the JW, I was unhappy, now, after the JW, I have never been happier in my life, but the minute I loose those pink glasses called nicotine, reality hits me with the force of thunder.

  I honestly don't think I can take too much of this anymore.

  Is this normal?? Did you who quit smoking had this too? Is its just something I have to go through for a couple of days and it will be over, I will be my cheery happy self again? Or am I just totally screwed and should seek counseling?

  -

  Blue Bubblegum Girl
• 

  Xena

  lol I know it isn't PC to say this....but that sounds like me during PMS week.... I sometimes use pot during that time to keep from commiting any type of mayhem....

  I'm thinking now it's probably a good thing I didn't take up ciggy smoking!

  Well if it helps any (((((Viv)))))) sending lots of love and good thoughts your way sweetie!
• 

  Vivamus

  Oh god, Xena, it is exactly like that, but then, non-f*****-stop! It's horrible, and I'd love some pot, but that would just throw me back into another habit ......
• 

  Xena

  true, I was going to edit that part out because I don't want to encourage one habit when you are trying to kick another.....so I am thinking chocolate wouldn't be a good idea either huh???? Shopping maybe????

  lol not much help am I??
• 

  Vivamus

  Lol, shopping means spending tons of money, chocolate is a def. no-no. *LOL* Not much help there Xena, but thanx for making me giggle about it
• 

  mouthy

  Viv I used to smoke two packs a day unfiltered Export A> the strongest.!! I understand what your going through... It took me nine months to lick it. I would cry, threaten to strangle anyone who came across my path, Work in the house till I dropped, ( I had it spotless in those days) My kids who were young then- used to beg me to smoke because I was EVIL!!!! But I wanted to get baptised as a JW so I had to quit or I couldnt get into the kingdom!!!! I managed it in the end.... It is something I am grateful to the Watchtower for. Because I am not even able to sit in the same room with a smoker now- it sickens me. But I have the guilt girl, My kids had second hand smoke from me & my husband- they are dead ( two from that time) So who knows??? maybe I helped kill them!!!.... I hope you can lick it dear. It is a horrible death,,,I watched my hubby & son go that route. Yes it was from smoking >>> They wouldnt mark that it is dangerous on the packet if it wasnt...
• 

  Vivamus

  Oh, Mouthy *hugs* That must have been horrible to go through. I have no words.

  But you are giving me more power to keep this up (the not-smoking I mean).

  *hugs*
• 

  Sentinel
• 

  LyinEyes

  Viv, I feel for ya. I have only been smoking for a year.........it took me a year to get up to a pack a day. I really hate the way my truck smells, or a room I have smoked in.

  I wash my hair , and condition it and when I put the heat of the blowdryer on it , I can still smell cig smoke,,,,yuk.

  I am always chewing on a breath mint , or spraying vanilla body spray because I dont like the smell.

  SO I decided to try to stop smoking. I am doing good, but I am weaning myself off. I first changed brands,in the hope that I wouldnt smoke so much, if I didnt like the cig as much.

  Well that actually worked,,,,,,,,,I am smoking alot less and I am losing the desire to smoke. I have one more pack that is already opened,,,,,,,,after that I will have to buy more,,,,,,,,or I will not buy anymore at all.

  I can't say for sure what I will do,,,,,but I am going to try my hardest to just not by a pack. I have went three days without a cig and didnt have any bad reactions.

  I figure if I have withdrawals I might buy a box of the nicotine gum,,,,,,,and see if that will just help me get over the holding a cig addiction. Then wean off of that, slowly.

  I want to just save the expense of the gum and buy a pair of shoes!!!!hehe so that might be my incentitive to not go for the gum.

  I hope you can hold out and be an inspiration to me. I have been sick with bronchitis this week, I get it ever year, since I was a child. And it is not a pleasant feeling at all, gasping for air. I would hate to die because of cancer, and knowing that I did it to myself.

  I am still young and want to be around for my kids and my hopefully ( not soon ,lol) tons of grandchildren.

  Plus, I read smoking makes your skin wrinkle and age quicker.........darn,,,,,,,,the WT told me I would live forever and be youthful . So I have to do what I can on my own,,,hehe.
• 

  mouthy

  Lyingeyes. The WT was wrong..... They told me I would be young again just after Armeggedon

  They suggested 1975

  Here we are 2004>>>> I am VERY WRINKLED!!!!!!!! So I hope you can quit It does make a differance My friend is the same age as me Never smoked!!!! Looks real good, No lines around the mouth from the "dragging a puff" (((hug))