Have you really left?

by Ariell 19 Replies latest jw friends

  • Corvin
    Corvin
    "It's like a person who is in a relationship, but afraid to be alone. So they go out to find another person to be with before deciding to leave their spouse or significant other. "

    The one thing I had to get straight with myself when my last marriage ended is the fact that I will always be tied to that dumb ignorant biotsh for the rest of my life because we have kids together. I had to learn tolorance of her stupidity, because it is very hard to seperate her from her bs. Because of the kids, I have to find ways to deal with their mother in a patient and understanding way.

    I have risen above all the JW crap she spouts at me. I have helped the kids to secretly roll their eyes and smile when she begins to ignorantly beat them emotionally with urgent threats and pleadings to serve Jehovah so that they do not die at the big A. I know it will never end until the biddy learns for herself "the truth" is a lie.

    Because I was so burned by this woman, I was so hurt and betrayed, and because she was such a liar, I thought very carefully about what I would settle for next time. In fact, the night I met my current wife, I was just telling my friend, Eric, that I was finished with women and marriage, that I would rather be alone than settle for some controlling, angry, vindictive, ignorant dork . . . "then along comes Mary" to prove me wrong. We met that night and have never left eachother's side.

    When I left the org, I had to make my mind up that I was done with it too. I had to tell myself that you might not ever find a faith that is completely 100% true and accurate. I simply came to the point that I did not need another place to go to, that remaining in my head and my heart and my family were sufficient enough to experience God's love and protection. I Had no other religion to go to, for being a Witness meant that I was made to look hard at the other religions and see that they were mostly false as well. I don't want those either. The Witnesses are sort of like dealing with my ex-wife; they will alway be around, and I will always have some tie to some of them for one reason or another, therefore I must learn to tolorate some of their crap perhaps indefinitely. But they are people, and what else can you do?

    You can make your thoughts, beliefs and opinions known to them and take a firm stand. If they think you are merely "doubting" or "spiritually weak" they will keep coming at you in an effort to "herd you back into the fold". Just as we tell our children about "good touches" and "bad touches" from adults, letting them know that certain parts of their bodies are completely of limits, we have the power to let JW's know that our hearts and minds and our spirituality is completely off limits to them!

    Corvin

  • Country Girl
    Country Girl

    I wasn't born, but raised, in it. My Mom came in when I was 3 years old. My Father was never in it, thank Heaven. I got out when I was about 20, finally, forever, but still had the same beliefs for the next 15 years. I believe they had the Truth, and I wasn't good enough to live up to it. I wasn't disfellowshipped because I was never baptized. From the time of 9 years old, I felt there was something wrong, and could never get over that feeling. I am very intuitive, and just *felt* these things, mind you. Not much acclaimed scientific evidence, but just feelings. When I was 35 and got on the Internet, it only confimed what I felt to be the truth about the truth. After that, my whole world was shattered because well.. my whole illusion was shattered. It has taken me several years to finally accept that my thinking is flawed because of the way I was raised and that everything I believed in was a pile of shit.

    Because I am a believer in truth, and living my life in a truthful and straightforward manner, I have confronted both of my remaining JW relatives in several circumstances with what I have learned, it has caused a great deal of problems in our family. I just accept that they won't talk to me because they know me, now, to carry apostate beliefs, even though I am not apostate since I was never baptized... but they fear me because I tell them the truth about their religion. I hedge no bets. I am going to live this life in an honest and straight-forward manner or I'll be damned. I don't have the answers to everything, but by God I'm lookin for em, and I'll be put to hell before I'll live a lie, the lie they live. They might not ever speak to me again, but at least I know I have lived my life true to what I believe/think.

    CG

    Remember the Alamo

  • Atilla
    Atilla

    Reality can really suck sometimes. However, knowing that this life is all a got has made me really appreciative of what I do have. I postponed so many things in my life as a dub, now it feels good not to hold back and just go for it, and I mean go for it. No more bubble boy life for me.

  • Mulan
    Mulan
    I left the WTS mentally years before I did physically.

    Ditto here. They have absolutely nothing I want..............no truth, no real hope and lousy people, for the most part.

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow

    I don't feel like I have to go find a "christian" or any other type of religion to replace what I had. I just don't think we are really meant to know the absolute truth in this life. To go searching for absolute truth would only put me in danger of coming under the spell of another manmade religion. I'd like to hope there is more to life than this one. I am leery of any man who says he's got the answers though.

  • Sumflower
    Sumflower

    Hi, I'm sort of new here.

    I think I've left emotionally and mentally, but physically not so much.

    I still find myself wondering if I'm doing the right thing, and then looking it over it seems I am. I doubt I'll ever find the perfect thing- but I'm going to live and be happy. I'm going to teach my children to live their lives for themselves, and not to please me or anyone else.

    Now if I could just get my DH to leave with me I'd be gone physically to!

    Summer

  • Maverick
    Maverick

    I must say that I left physically before I left mentally. I could not bare the people anymore. They were so petty and small and phony! But I believed it was God 's Organization. I just could not reconcile how a loving God could put up with all the crap I saw! I would test the brotherhood out, and they failed every test, every time. Even the CO! But because loyalty is such a strong value for me I still had not even considered that the WTS was total BS! It took traveling half way around the world and visiting a loving, old friend, who pointed the obvious out to me, for the scales to fall from my eyes! Now I try to be the biggest pain in the backside I can to the J-dud Masters. In time I'll get past it, but for now...packback is a bitch! Maverick

    PS Welcome Sumflower!

  • Deleted
    Deleted

    I left physically before I left mentally. I knew something was wrong, but I thought it was me. The day I finally left mentally was the day I realized that Satan didn't exist (Pagels: Origin of Satan). Leaving emotionally takes a lot longer. And I still have a few Borg implants, but it's quite manageable now after 5 years.

  • kilroy2
    kilroy2

    I had a long hard road to mentaly change the mind control of the socity. there are many who do nothing in the borg,maybe go to a memorial once a year,and live a life that is compleatly unwitness related,and yet when you attack the beliefe system they defend it like it was the alamo. the stringth of the mind control is very strong. and weak minded people may never be able to relese themselves form it.

  • tazmaniac
    tazmaniac

    It was very hard to leave longtime friends. In their I am the evil elder that left. To them I am as good as dead. I hurts when you consider all the good things we did to help others while we were in. I have been out for four years. I hope that the next four are easier than the first four.

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