When you look back at your Witness life, you probably can see that you were regularly exposed to traumatic conditions and situations BECAUSE you were a JW. Thinking back, was there anything that stood out in your mind that especially wounded you?
What's The Most Traumatic Thing That's Ever Happened To You As A Witness?
by minimus 27 Replies latest jw friends
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blondie
Some JWs lying about me and spreading it around (serious lies). The elders said there was nothing they could do because the elder and his wife were big money contributors in the congregation. That was the beginning of my 30 year slide out of the organization.
Blondie
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Tuesday
It wasn't one thing particularly that was traumatic it was kinda three fold in the matter of two months. First the one person I identified with at the hall who was a ministerial servant (the only one that was really nice and cool to me, I even looked up to the guy) got married and moved to another hall, then one of my best friends my longest friend since I was 7 left the hall, then the girl I had a MAJOR crush on was disfellowshipped. She was kinda like the ministerial servant I mentioned earlier because she was real cool and nice to me, once they were gone there were like three people who would talk to me in the hall. That was the beginning of the end for me in "the truth".
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Mulan
The most traumatic thing that happened to me was when the crushing realization that it wasn't the truth, really hit me hard. I was devastated beyond words.
No, I take that back. The absolute most traumatic thing was when my brother's wife died after an emergency birth, and hysterectomy. She bled out and no blood allowed, of course. the baby was stillborn. That was in 1977.
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talesin
As a Witness - I am assuming you mean in a religious sense ... this is by far the most traumatic 'religious' thing, but is by no means imaginable the most traumatic act that was ever perpetrated upon my person.
The elders called me to a JC, I had been a couple years gone and had successfully faded (or so I thought) The first thing was, they told me my best friend ratted me out (he was unbaptized, nonbelieving son of practicing JWs). I was so hurt by this betrayal, my best friend!! So, I was truthful with them about my 'sin' and told them I would never be coming back, so they DFd me for being 'unrepentant'.
I cut off my best friend, and wouldn't even talk to him. (I know, but I was young and idealistic.)
Another two years went by. He called me, and begged me to talk to him. So we got together. And I learned the 'truth'. He, too, had been called to a JC. They told him that I ratted HIM out !! They were concerned, blah, blah, but he stonewalled them, refused to take their bait and received no reproof. I, on the other hand, believed them and was DFd.
So the elders on the JC lied to me, I lost my best friend, and was DFd all in one fell swoop.
At age 20, I was all alone in the 'world'.
talesin
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Elsewhere
Leaving the organization.
I had a simple choice... stay in and be so miserable that I wanted to kill myself... or leave and loose everything forcing me to rebuild my life from nothing.
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franklin J
yes, during judicial committee meetings about me, where I was accused ( falsely, too, I might add) of fornication. I had been a full time pioneer for 4 years prior to this; I was a now a full time student. ( about 25 years old) And I will never forget the sickening "sinking" feeling of sitting in the library at the kingdom hall and hearing the crazed elders( this man actually yelled at me waving his finger) accuse me; again and again of fornication, and my response of " it is not true".
My father, also an elder, sat there with me and finally stepped in and said
" He has already answered your questions, what else do you want?"
The ringleader elder replied " well, when he gets in his car and leaves your house ; he says he is going to school, How do you know where he is going?".
I was so visibly distraught after this meeting ( actually there were several) that my father took me to a local bar for drink.. I was not quite out of that mind control yet, and part of me still believed that Jehovah would protect and look out for the innocent ( yeah, right). When the realization hit me that I was on my own against these "Elders" ( men with an agenda) it was a blow ; I suppose I learned the hard way. Fortuantely for me I had my parents support; both emotionally and financially.
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FMZ
I would have to say explaining in detail what my fiance and I did in my bedroom, in front of two elders and my mother (I was 17). We had made a "mistake" and was told the only way of making it right is to tell the elders. So I did, I went to see an elder, told him what happened. Then he said he had to contact my mother and have another little meeting (for a private reproof).
I forced myself to eat the few days before... and vomited before the meeting because I was so nervous. I went in and told them what had happened briefly, and they kept asking questions about where I put my hands, and where I touched her, and where she touched me. It was so shameful. I wanted to die.
If I knew then what I know now, I would have told him where he can shove his perverted views... and I would have also told him all the other stuff we did that "only married couples should do". Which brings me to an interesting point... in ancient times, the act of marriage was simply dedicating ones life to a partner. And by THOSE terms, my wife and I were already married. We did NO wrong. Bastards.
FMZ
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Sassy
I would have to say all judicial meetings... from ones that I wasn't personally involved in, but was questioned on behalf of others.. to ones for my own.
Those are horrible.. and then when I was turned in for having been with a 'brother' and hadn't even done "hardly" anything.. the fear of it all, caused me to try to OD... then when I didnt' die, I really did some wild sexual stuff because I figured I was going to be kicked out any way.. It's so ironic, because just worrying about telling them that I had been with a brother and we were touching each other... and in a hotel room caused me to want to kill myself from the stress of having to tell them... where as by the time the meetings actually started I had slept with 6 men and two of the situations were in a 'threesome' situation.. so I really wanted to be dead when I did talk to them. I had full intention of really killing myself... but I was so beating myself up for being a wicked sinful person that I made myself go through the trauma of talking to them before I planned to reattempt death..
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HadEnuf
I could probably answer the question: "What's the Least Traumatic Thing That's Every Happened To You As A Witness" much easier. Too many trauma's...too little time to go into detail. When I look back at our involvement in this cult over four decades...I can now see that it was just one event after another. And we took it like good little JW's. Don't complain. Don't make waves. (For any further information on our "trauma" that got us out of this cult you can look under my topics and "coming out of the closet". This though was only the "tip of the iceberg".)
Cathy L.
P.S. Who as a JW DOESN'T have a horror story to tell??? It would be a rare individual me thinks.