Sorry about that :/ I just went *blah* and spouted all my feelings and I forgot about my presentation. Thank you all again for your suggestions. I have another question to those that were long term JW. Knowing how hard it is to present JW with an alternative belief, what made you open a book that *gasp* had apostate views? I was never baptized, but I do know how it is pounded into the mind of a JW to NOT open, read or listen to anything offering an individuals freedom of mind. I have long since thought my sis and her husband will never allow themselves to see spirituality in a different light, then I read the history of some of the fellow posters and am so relieved that there still is a chance for them.
Hi lilacia!
I am a long time JW and what made me finally open a book (which was Crisis of Conscience) was because I had been posting on a JW board on AOL for many years, and I got tired of the back and forth arguing from other witnesses, calling Ray Franz an apostate, and acting like they knew what the book contained, although they hadn't read it, and the non-witnesses who did read the book, and challenge the witnesses saying "how can you put Ray Franz down when you haven't even read the book." So I decided to take up the challenge, bought the book and read it.
However, I must say that I always read books my whole life--usually gothic novels, or suspense/mystery, science fiction--never any of those silly romance novels, but novels that were brainy--and a few non-fiction books, and I never felt the need to run to an elder for anything, because I didn't think it was none of their business; I felt pretty free in my own world of being a JW and free to think what I wanted, yet not committing any sexual sins and trying to be a good JW without drawing attention to myself. I didn't like attention--so my way of dealing with it was to just be a quiet person and live in the world of my mind, thinking of all kinds of possibilities which I figured I wouldn't be able to fulfill until the "new world," and so on and so on.
This was also during a time when I was trying to "convert" atheists (on an atheist board) to at least start believing in God again. Boy, did I get spanked there! But then, after I started really listening to their questions about God being invisible and how can you prove he exists, questions about a snake talking Eve into eating the forbidden fruit, etc., and about the whole thing of being a believer vs. being a non-believer (because to an atheist those are the only two categories of people that exist)..I thinking about my own beliefs as a religious person and realized that they made lots of good points. And I also made friends with a girl who said she was an atheist but is now agnostic (and we only live an 1hrs. drive apart so we visit), I have expanded my mind and attempting a fade out of the congregation, but you know, fading is very hard.
Now I'm not an atheist nor an agnostic, I still feel like I'm a spiritual person and that God will always be in my life, and more and more, I realize the Bible is more complex than what the society or other religions who claim to be Christian would have you believe. So now, I'm finding all kinds of little treasures there that I never saw before and understand things apart from the society's explanations, and I find it quite refreshing.
Sorry this was a book, but just wanted you to see the process I am in now. BTW I'm 56 yrs. old and was baptized at age 11 1/2-----waaaayyyy to young!