FORMER JW ELDERS, on JWD, 2004 LIST

by jst2laws 181 Replies latest jw friends

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  hillary_step

  As an hermaphrodite I can see both sides of this issue....

  LT,

  (((anybody else, who feels like they need a hug)))

  Now, how would that look - ex elder hugs ex elder! Food for another 7,000 posts spread across the Internet and also some very nifty and greasy rumors methinks. Of course, as an elder you were an 'annointed' elder, which makes you a bigger elder and better elder than I was, I was just an annoyed elder. Being an anti-typical elder was not much fun when everybody around you were typical elders, especially the elderly elders who as you know, were generally older than the younger elders.

  Just thought I would say the word 'elder' as often as possible to show that I can still behave like an....er....elder.

  HS
• 

  donkey

  quit hugging me, LT
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  Greenpalmtreestillmine

  If you have a problem with Elders all being men, go and bitch about it at the KH - it's nothing to do with us! We can't help who was and who wasn't an elder and they should be welcomed just as everyone else is.

  I don't think anyone on this thread had a "problem with Elders all being men." Turning this into a women verses men problem is way off the mark in my opinion. Also no one said elders should not be as welcome here as anyone else.

  Our past experiences in the Organization were for many of us torturous and that torture was implemented by those who abused their authority as Elders. It was the abuse of their authority that brings to mind the horror of that experience, not the fact that they were men! The abuse of authority whether from men or women causes permanent harm and its that harm that echoes here not the fact that they were men.

  Elder lists divide people who are leaving a place where titles like Elder, CO, DO, made many of us either feel worthless or worse, abused. I understand the reason for the list and I hope it serves the purpose that was intended but I think anyone who finds the list objectionable because of past abuses or for other reasons should not be castigated for it. I thought that's why we were here to rejoice breaking out of the suffocating mold of the follow the leader religion we were in and to help one another in some way.

  Having said that, I think this thread will be very good for lurking elders. It's good for them to know that former elders post here and its also good for them to see the amount of hurt and anger caused by the abuse of authority exercised by many Elders. So, all in all, except for what happened between Big Tex and Talesin, I think this thread turned out good and will serve a good purpose. Most JWs are victims of victims and followers of followers as Br. Franz said in his book, whether publisher or elder we all suffered in some way.

  Sabrina
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  Special K

  I must say that this was an extremely emotionally pulling thread to read.

  It hurt to read it.

  Alot of upset posters on this one. Posters I respect.

  "On line, communication can sometimes be the pits"

  sincerely

  Special K
• 

  SixofNine

  This thread has opened up some old wounds, that's for sure.

  Friends, the only way we, as a group, are ever going to feel completely at peace on the matter of *elders* is to find a way to ritualize our pain and past experience. As all of us, never-elders women and once-a-kings alike, agree that in the big picture, the elder-as-right-hand-of-the-right-hand-of-God culture/mentality of JW's has been damaging to us personally and perpetuated a fraudulent killer religion.

  In order to ritually wash away the enormous pain (on the part of the rank and file) and the enormous guilt (on the part of the ex-elders), I suggest that the men who were once elders all draw straws, and the loser (or winner, truth be known!) volunteers himself to be sacrificed at the yearly rejection of Jesus. The manner of this sacrifice will hold special meaning for the sisters manning (sic) the instruments of death: I propose a giant trebuchet (spring equinox indeed!) set up across the street from a KH, timed to return our sacrificial lamb to the pulpit at precisely the time some other poor sap is standing in uncomfortable silence, having run out of things to say while the wine glass is passed meaninglessly throughout the standing room only crowd.

  Whadaya say LT, you were going to celebrate this year anyway, eh?
• 

  cyber-sista

  This topic is most definitely a triggering one...

  A couple of days ago I attended a "get together" (not at a KH). Long story but it was necessary for me to show up there for a few minutes to say goodbye to someone. This is the first contact I have had with a group of JWs in several months and I was very nervous about going. I only stayed for about 20-30 minutes. Very few people spoke with me, but when i saw the elders (who were much the instigators of much of my pain before I left) I began to feel ill and my head started to pound. The triggers are still there, though I didn't expect them to be so strong. I loathed being around these men and I don't ususally feel that way about anyone. So, while I still am glad that the X-elders here are making themselves known and I do admire them for that and understand that many of them are healing themselves from their experience it the Org-..I think it is good that they make themselves known because I feel it adds more clout to this site, especially to impress newly exiting ones-- but I still understand the triggers--believe me I understand.
• 

  hillary_step

  Six,

  In order to ritually wash away the enormous pain (on the part of the rank and file) and the enormous guilt (on the part of the ex-elders), I suggest that the men who were once elders all draw straws, and the loser (or winner, truth be known!) volunteers himself to be sacrificed at the yearly rejection of Jesus.

  Good idea, and be sure to choose one who will not enjoy it. Perhaps his body should then be dismembered and a part sent to each of the Twelve Apostafests where it can be lightly stir-fried with green peppers and olive oil, and served on a hot-bed of fornication.

  HS
• 

  SixofNine

  Perhaps his body should then be dismembered and a part sent to each of the Twelve Apostafests where it can be lightly stir-fried with green peppers and olive oil, and served on a hot-bed of fornication.

  Yes! I like the way you think, and you're right, LittleToe would enjoy it too much.
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  xenawarrior

  I hesitated to post here because I've never been a JW so I don't know about the whole "elder" thing the way you folks do. I do know about triggers though.

  Triggers can be anything that will put an individual who has suffered trauma into an uncomfortable frame of mind or that which sets that person off by reminding them of the original trauma or situation they experienced. It isn't necessary for someone to have done or said anything intentionally for another to be triggered by the words, etc. and often times that is the case . I don't think any one can walk on eggshells about it because one cannot know what will be any other individual's trigger and it's up to the person who is healing to figure those things out and develope ways to cope with it. Understanding it however, goes a long way.

  Anxiety, sadness and yes, anger are all very natural responses to triggers of past trauma and that is what you see here. I don?t believe it?s fair to pretend that these triggers are not real problems. They are. Trauma is a difficult thing to overcome and one of the things that needs to be faced is that it is very REAL. Reliving that trauma is very painful. And there will be things that trigger memories and even flashbacks of the actual trauma. Those things can be something as simple as a smell or something more visible to others such as this thread. Those experiencing it are healing and with some support and effort and understanding these triggers will eventually go away. They won?t go away by ignoring them or having others minimize their effect on an individual- telling them to ?just get over it.? And for those triggered; some knew it right away and some may just now be realizing that they ARE triggered and can begin to learn how to deal with that as part of their journey. Anyone who is familiar with triggering in their own lives will most likely have developed methods to cope with it as part of their ongoing healing process.

  I don?t believe for a moment that there was anything intentional here. Maybe with more of an understanding of the realities of healing from all of this, everyone can be a bit more compassionate with one another. Some people are actively working on this healing, some have already done it and some don?t think they need it. Whatever place anyone is at, you?ve all been in somewhat the same place in the past.

  XW

  edited to add: I have no idea what happened to the formatting of this post. Site demons !!
• 

  bebu

  (((((tale))))) ((((((mouthy))))) (((((Big Tex))))))

  Forgive...

  bebu