something i realized this weekend at the circuit assembly...there are too many people that blame Jehover (tm) for how they grew up, or blame satan for all the problems of the world. why can't everyone just grow some balls and take responsibilities for their own actions? something that i always read on this forums is frankiespeakin's threads on how Jehover (tm) is a false god or doesn't exist, or solely created people to piss on. then i hear other people IRL (in real life) blame everything wrong on satan. "Sorry i had sex with a 10 year old step-daughter, satan made me do it." i know everyone says "thank god" or something when something good happens, but i just find it irresponsible to not claim your own actions if they are bad. quit blaming figments of your imagination and take responsibility up for yourselves. if you think "Jehover" is a myth, then quit blaming him for your shitty life and do somthing about it.....
Taking responsibility for your actions
by dustyb 10 Replies latest jw friends
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Stefanie
Jehover is to blame. Its not the childs fault that he grew up isolated, unable to interact Its the fault of the God his parents worship.
A woman cant blame herself for being angry and depressed because she was sexually abused as a child by a parent who was protected by an organization that her parents believed in.
You cant take the blame for everything that goes wrong in your life. I believe people can change their lives for the best and make differences, but if I blamed myself for everything that went wrong over the coarse of 12 yearsof being in the troof, then i would be more depressed than I turned out to be.
If I took your comment wrong I appologize Dusty, I am dealing with my own emotional problems today.
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Satanus
Dusty makes one good point. It is that we do need to take responsibility, when we get older. Jws are taught a form of helplessness:
Problems in the world - nobody can fix them, so don't try
Your own life is a mess - throw it into jehoovers hands, while you sell mags, go to meetings, etc
Worried about the future - make no plans, for jehoover has it covered
Want a wife/husband - serve jehoover more, and he will give
Etc
For a person who is suseptible to defeatism, depressive, or perhaps abused, this only makes it worse. It's a tough, uphill strugle to start taking back responsibility for oneself again.
SS
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Corvin
something i realized this weekend at the circuit assembly...there are too many people that blame Jehover (tm) for how they grew up, or blame satan for all the problems of the world. why can't everyone just grow some balls and take responsibilities for their own actions? something that i always read on this forums is frankiespeakin's threads on how Jehover (tm) is a false god or doesn't exist, or solely created people to piss on. then i hear other people IRL (in real life) blame everything wrong on satan. "Sorry i had sex with a 10 year old step-daughter, satan made me do it." i know everyone says "thank god" or something when something good happens, but i just find it irresponsible to not claim your own actions if they are bad. quit blaming figments of your imagination and take responsibility up for yourselves. if you think "Jehover" is a myth, then quit blaming him for your shitty life and do somthing about it.....
You are a good person Dusty and I have enjoyed your posts, and you raise a reasonable question in this post. Be open to the answers.
Dusty, I really must agree that, as adults, we are all responsible for our own actions, and therefore, must take reponsibility for them. 90% of everything that happens to you (as an adult) you are the cause of, therefore, be careful what you cause.
It also stinks to me that most JW's blame everything on Satan, or give credit to Jehovah when the law of averages causes them to place a stupid Watchtower at a door. In doing such things, perhaps we are giving to much of our own god-given power away.
I must also say to you, young friend, that those of us who were raised in "The Truth" had no choice. We stood little chance of a normal life because, up to a certain point in our lives, our brainwashed and trapped parents were in full controll of everything we thought, did or believed. By the time we have grown to adulthood in the org, we are totally and completely conditioned with the fear, guilt and gobble-d-gook. I don't know your circumstances, however, many of those who come to post here are damaged goods, and I mean that in the most empathetic way. Have some empathy or atleast compassion for the pain so many are experiencing, Dusty, for you do not know what others have been through, and you may never know. Each of us have issues unique to ourselves based on what we went through with our families, elders and other members of the congregation. The key phrase to keep in mind is "recovery", and we are all here to either "ask for help and support" or give that "help and support". Those who come here to vent are trying desperately to break the surface from the murkey depths they lived their whole lives in. The various phases of recovery run the gamit from depression to anger, and they are very real emotions, just as real as yours and mine.
Every form of communication between to humans is either an expression of love, or a cry for help. Think about it.
Kind Regards,
Corvin
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dustyb
You cant take the blame for everything that goes wrong in your life. I believe people can change their lives for the best and make differences, but if I blamed myself for everything that went wrong over the coarse of 12 yearsof being in the troof, then i would be more depressed than I turned out to be.
i know you can't blame everyone or yourself, but its not Jehover's problem it happened. its the stupid quacks (WTS in this case) that you were sexually abused. it was their problem, because they don't fix it. i just found out 2 more of my friends that are girls were molsested this past weekend, but i don't blame Jehover. i know that they couldn't find a different way, but sometimes its just up for the other people, such as the parents or guardians to take responsibility. and when they don't, you have to find ways. and some people find the wrong way, such as blaming others for their own actions.
It also stinks to me that most JW's blame everything on Satan, or give credit to Jehovah when the law of averages causes them to place a stupid Watchtower at a door. In doing such things, perhaps we are giving to much of our own god-given power away.
and i do know that as a JW, we didn't have a choice. "Everything good should be accredited to Jehover and everything bad should be blamed on Satan the Devil." I have always heard that, and i still hear that everywhere when i go to meetings and assemblies. i do understand that everyone here has their own circumstances too. shit happens, and a lot of people (especially JW's) can't do anything about it, because they don't know. they were deprived, or stripped of that skill of reasoning and such.
All in all, all of us here did make one decision based upon ourselves, to join this forum and help each other out. we've also chosen to help each other gain back this skill of taking the responsibilities that we need, and pointing fingers with the right amount of evidence and education. i no longer point the fingers at the elders, and i no longer point fingers at the congregation. i point my fingers at old men who think that they are the key because theya re stubborn and didn't have a life before they crept into the "truth". and beacuse they think they hold the key, they have to destroy everyone else by making slaves out of them, thus stripping its members of the responsibilities of thought and thinking for ones-self.
i also see this as a problem for the kids who do get molested. they are told over and over that there is NO other way, they are right, so take the finger in the butt, maybe play "santa claus" naked. but thats where this comes in, the ELDERS/MOLESTERS need to take responsibility for their own actions. i remember one of the sick bastards here (that i just learned about) was an elder, and he thought it was a good idea to molest his step-daughter. it was awhile ago, but he said that "satan" made him do it, thus he was thought to be repentful, was stripped of his responsibilities and disfellowshipped for a little while, but was reinstated. no jail time or anything. so who needs to be responsible for his own actions? him? the other elders? the society? or how about all three?
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Stefanie
its the stupid quacks (WTS in this case) that you were sexually abused.
I wasnt, but I know some who have been. I dont blame Jehover because to me there is no god. I just understand how some can blame him/it.
if you think "Jehover" is a myth, then quit blaming him for your shitty life and do somthing about it.....
What if some dont think he is a myth. What if ones parents were to die, and that person prayed and prayed, who do they blame Adam and Eve?
If someone were Sexualy abused and their life turned out shitty what do they do about it? Do they need to blame themselves?
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Corvin
"i no longer point the fingers at the elders, and i no longer point fingers at the congregation. i point my fingers at old men who think that they are the key because they are stubborn and didn't have a life before they crept into the "truth", and beacuse they think they hold the key, they have to destroy everyone else by making slaves out of them, thus stripping its members of the responsibilities of thought and thinking for ones-self.
Yes, Dusty, good point. In my case, as with others who are trying to get out of the org and take their loved ones with them, the org still has some sort of a hold on my kids. I cannot rest or stop raising my voice, or stop pointing my finger and objecting, basically raising hell in protest until I am certain that my kids are safely out of the WTBTS completely. It is very hard sometimes. They keep coming at my kids at various angles trying to slip them the guilt and fear thing about leaving. I am talking about elders, their mother, their fat-ass stepdad, other bros and sisters they have known their whole life and trust. These are the things we must fight against because these people are unwittingly being tools of the org, and I must oppose them.
Kind Regards,
Corvin
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kes152
To dusty,
Man does not take the blame for their own actions because they are doing the works of their forefather, Adam, who ALSO did not take the blame for his own errors. Instead, just as he blamed Eve, the Devil, and even the Father himself for his own errors, so also man does today.
It says in James, "When under trial, let no one say "I am being tried by God" (blaming God for the trial). For with evil things God cannot be tried, nor does he himself try anyone. But each one is tried by being drawn out and enticed by HIS OWN DESIRE. Then, when the desire becomes fertile, it gives birth to sin; sin, in turn, when it has been done, brings forth death." (James 1:13-15)
We bring out our OWN destruction. We are the ones with the 'bad' desire. When we are drawn out and enticed (baited on), it is our decision if we want to fertilize that desire into sin. If we decide to 'dwell on that desire' and let it become fertile, it gives birth to sin. Then, we have this 'sin' in us just waiting for an oppotunity to be done. When it is done.. the repercutions of that sin bring forth death. The death is NOT from God, but from "the one who having the means to cause death, that is.. the Devil" (Hebrews 2:14).
Peace,
Aaron
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Maverick
Very valid points all! The WTS treats the RF like dependant children. They receive a mixed message. On the one hand if the RF have problems they need to do more, for the WTS of course! But it is the Devils and his demons fault, or Adams fault, or the imperfect flesh, or us apostates. After a time the RF come to believe it's not their fault! So they stop being stand up people and are unwilling to except responsibility and come to terms with whatever they did. God will fix it, whatever it is. The WTS are enablers for the adolescent behavior of the flock. People do become like the god they worship. And since the Governing body do not take responsibility for all the evil they do, why should their worshiper, the RF, behave any different? Maverick
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Sentinel
I would have to agree with you, Dustyb. Things happen to us that we have no control over...some very bad things. But, if it is at all within our power to do so, we owe it to ourselves to rise above it by whatever means we can. This is no easy task, but we are so much better off if we can. The sad thing about human beings is that we learn certain concepts and we base our entire life on them. We listen and are molded by our environment. We are challenged by our treatment early in life. The thing that spurrs most of us to "stop" and fix things, is that we are simply tired of living the way we are living, with the great weight of our own self abuse. Yes, we do actually abuse ourselves emotionally. For those who dare to challenge their own perceptions, there is a great reward waiting. It is not an easy journey, and that is why many would prefer to stay quietly in their "safety zone"--their "familiar" pains, rather than do what it takes to move out of that arena.
I suffered when I was a child and as an adult, and I saw and perceived things as a child and as an adult. For a long time, I was powerless to affect "change". This affected most of my life, until I decided to "reshape" my perceptions. There were many perceptions which I "accepted" as real and true, when they were not. Religion was among these things, and especially the JW concepts.
If we are ever to get past the pain and make a life for ourselves, we need to take a strong look at our life, right now, right this minute. No one else can fix "us". We need to ask ourselves some important questions: Am I where I want to be right now, and what do I need to do to get there? I would most emphatically suggest that one must learn to love themselves first. That is where it all begins. If we need to make changes in our lives, then do it. Remove all those weights and stresses, and learn to live this beautiful life right here and right now.
The rest just doesn't matter.
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