The Unforgiven

by Truth2Me 11 Replies latest watchtower medical

Truth2Me

This Metallica song really speaks to me....sometimes it seems like the band must have studied what it's like to be Disfellowshipped....they could have called the title "The Disfellowshipped." Been really struggling lately...wanted to share this, maybe some of you can relate....
Unforgiven
New blood joins this earth
and quikly he's subdued
through constant pain disgrace
the young boy learns their rules

with time the child draws in
this whipping boy done wrong
deprived of all his thoughts
the young man struggles on and on he's known
a vow unto his own
that never from this day
his will they'll take away

what I've felt
what I've known
never shined through in what I've shown
never be
never see
won't see what might have been

what I've felt
what I've known
never shined through in what I've shown
never free
never me
so I dub thee unforgiven
they dedicate their lives
to running all of his
he tries to please them all
this bitter man he is
throughout his life the same
he's battled constantly
this fight he cannot win
a tired man they see no longer cares
the old man then prepares
to die regretfully
that old man here is me

what I've felt
what I've known
never shined through in what I've shown
never be
never see
won't see what might have been

what I've felt
what I've known
never shined through in what I've shown
never free
never me
so I dub thee unforgiven

you labeled me
I'll label you
so I dub thee unforgiven
City Fan

Truth2Me,
Strange, I bought that album on CD today!! I've had it on tape for years and just decided I had to have it on CD.
That song and 'Nothing Else Matters' mean a lot to me. It was the first album I bought after leaving the borg!
CF.
lilacia

Interesting! Thanks for sharing. It is one of my fav songs, but I never quite placed the lyrics in that context. I am sorry to hear how you are struggling. I can only offer empathy and tell you that you are strong for making choices in your life now that are based on your own heart and a clear mind. If it helps to share, keep writing. *hug*
Euphemism

That song really resonated with me when I first heard it... I found it hard to justify why, however, since I was still trying to convince myself at the time that I was happy with the dub life. But I knew that my true self "never shined through in what I've shown."
Yep, we're the unforgiven alright... but we've stopped battling with those who wanted to dedicate their lives to running ours. We no longer care what they think.
We can't make them forgive us. But we can forgive ourselves.
lilacia

Truth2Me, I just wanted to add this. Our life lessons end with our ability to realize how our choices effected our life. The lesson ends there. I believe this to a certain extent, that which does not involve taking a life or injuring a life, either child or adult. The JW way of life instills a great deal of guilt, even if you question a teaching. I am speaking of life lessons in terms of relationships and so forth. Most of us can relate to wrong choices in a lover or partner or mate. We can also relate to to the hindsite theory, if we can look back and say we would do it "differently" we sometimes would. Years later, some of us come to find that it was best to end the friendship or relationship at that point. My point is, you can move on. You have the power to put your feelings at the curb after dealing with them, and walking on. Only narrow minded people harbor mistruth and anger related to such. You cannot take on both your feelings and then also pick up the bags of judgement that others will place at your feet. Come to terms with what your heart is speaking to you, and find comfort in having it placed in the past in your life. In many cases, it is up to ourselves to take onto our shoulders the "bags of garbage" others put at our curb to pick up. If you have dealt with your issues, don't pick up other bags of garbage. Those bags belong to the ppl who left them. Call them and tell them to come pick up what is past due.
Sentinel

My son first introduced me to Metallica, and he said the "lirics" seemed to call to him. I find that so true whenever I hear their music or read the lyrics, such as written here titled "Unforgiven". They are definitely sending a message. Their music cuts to the soul.
I wish I knew more about them individually. Does anyone know if one or more of their members were involved with JW's or some other cult religion?
/<
zugzwang

My father died as a result of the blood issue back in 95. Since that time I have been dealing with guilt because I had the opportunity to save his life and I did not do it. In the hospital the doctor's asked my mom and myself if there wias anything else that we would like them to do to save his life. He had already had cardiac arrest once and they had revived him, but they were telling us the only chance we had of keeping him alive was to give him blood. He of course was unconscious so they were leaving the decision to us. My mom was too distraught so she asked me what to do. I was 19 at the time, a pioneer with aspirations to go to Bethel. I knew what was "right" so I told the doctor's that there was nothing else to be done. My father died shortly thereafter. For the past few years I have held some guilt over this. But as a JW I felt like I did what had to be done. But now that I am out and have learned new things about blood and how it transfers naturally between twins in their mother's womb, that guilt is stronger than ever. I have dubbed myself "unforgiven" because of the choice I made he tries to please them all this bitter man he is throughout his life the same he's battled constantly this fight he cannot win a tired man they see no longer cares the old man then prepares to die regretfully that old man here is me Those lyrics describe me quite well. I tried all my life to please everyone else, always doing what I was supposed to do. But it was a fight I could not win. Eventually I had to face the truth that everything that I believed in and fought for was a lie. Now I feel like I am trying to avoid becoming the tired old man who no longer cares. First though I must forgive myself for the mistakes of the past, one which may have cost my father his life. Of course, ultimately it was his decision and giving him a blood transfusion at that late stage may not have made a difference anyway. I think not forgiving oneself is one of the greatest barriers to moving on with one's life.
TallTexan

Metallica's frontman James Hetfield who writes most of their lyrics grew up in a very disciplinarian religious household. He was raised in one of the religions that totally denies medical care, and instead requires 'prayer' for medical treatment. The song on the 'Black' album called "The God that Failed" is actually written about his mother, who died of cancer because she refused to seek medical treatment and tried to 'pray' her way out of cancer. The line "the healing hand held back by the beaten nail" refers to the religious belief that denial of medical care is the will of Christ, obviously the 'beaten nail' meaning Jesus on the cross/torture stake.
There are a number of religious references in their songs. "Leper Messiah" off of Master of Puppets deals with the hypocrisy of religious leaders. "Creeping Death" off of Ride the Lightning is a cool little piece about the 10 plagues and the "Angel of Death" as the 10th plague (thus, he's 'creeping death'). Great song. One of my favorite Metallica songs put in context of growing up a Witness is "D'yers Eve" off of Justice For All. It's about a child growing up deprived of freedom of thought and freedom of expression because his/her parents want them to believe as they're told and no deviation from that belief structure will be tolerated. Interesting song if you grew up as a JW.
O.k...sorry about the mini-Metallica lesson...lol. Just happen to have been one of my favorite bands since the mid-80's (all of my 'bad wordly association' introduced me to them...lol.)
P.S. Former Metallica band member and current Megadeath founder/frontman Dave Mustaine grew up as a witness until he ran away from home at the age of 15 and went to L.A.....evidently he didn't think too much of it either.
Nosferatu

P.S. Former Metallica band member and current Megadeath founder/frontman Dave Mustaine grew up as a witness until he ran away from home at the age of 15

So THAT'S why Megadeth was declared "evil"! I remember a #3 talk where two sisters were discussing Satan's evil tools, and the band "Megadeth" was mentioned. BTW, at the moment I'm listening to Skin O' My Teeth. Very ironic, as I wasn't even thinking about what was playing while I typed this post!
catchthis

Damn, I never knew that about Dave Mustaine before. And I love Megadeth. BTW, I just found this little interview snippet off the web about Dave and his JW upbringing:
Jodi Beth Summers talks to Dave Mustaine 1987
Does food really make the man? Each month "Hit Parader" finds out by taking metal's biggest stars out to lunch. This month's lunch munchers are those wild and crazy guys in Megadeth.
What's thrash prodigy Dave Mustaine's philosophy of life and Megadeth? "To have fun and get away with as much as I can while I can."
Megadeth henchman (not to mention speed metal beacon) Mustaine is one of metal's most interesting personalities. Behind the macabre lyrical poetry and the quasi-melodic thrash of his music there's a very intelligent guy with a clear and accurate vision of what he wants to accomplish.
Born in the San Diego suburb of La Mesa, California, Dave grew up in the proverbial "broken home". His mom and dad split up when he was young and he didn't get to know his dad until just before the old man died.
His mother and all her family were Jehovah's Witnesses, which is how Dave was raised. Later on he attended Golden West College in Huntington Beach, California, where he studied French, history, cartooning, music and recording theory - and co-founded a band called Metallica. After leaving school and moving to San Francisco, Mustaine bailed out on Metallica just as they were getting their record deal and joined up with David Ellefson, Chris Poland and Gar Samuelson to form Megadeth.
Recently, "Out to Lunch" had a chance to chatter with the real Dave Mustaine over hot dogs, brandy and tortilla chips during a party in Megadeth's honor held at Sam's bar in L.A.
Jodi Beth Summers: Dave, Megadeth is a pretty intense name for a band. How did a nice boy like you think of a moniker like that?
Dave Mustaine: Megadeth represents the annihilation of power. We spell the name phonetically because the meaning to us is the same you get out of the dictionary-it's a hypothetical body count after a nuclear fallout. It's a million deaths, and we want to leave our audience shell-shocked wherever we go.
JBS:
As far as your family is concerned, by choosing that name, weren't you adding insult to injury for Jehovah's Witnesses?
DM: It did in a sense, but we've already got a distance between us. Regardless of what I did with my career, I don't think my problems with my family would have been resolved. I did what I did because I wanted to do it. I didn't have any inhibitions or any kind of feelings toward what they thought.
JBS:
When did this split between you and your family occur?
DM: I lived with my mom for a long time and I just barely got to know my dad right before he died. After that, I was pretty confused over the whole thing, so I went my own way, away from my family. It was a big fight because they don't really dig what I'm doing. It makes it weird, knowing the religious background that my family believes and what I'm professing in my music.
JBS:
Did they send you to Jehovah's Witness school when you were growing up?
DM: I went to a private school like that for about two months. It wasn't my trip, because I've always been pretty well ahead of my grades and sitting in a class with religious people who say, "Brother, can I have a pencil?" wasn't for me. I said to them "Fuck you, get your own pencil!" They didn't dig that.
JBS:
Making trouble is just part of your nature, isn't it?
DM: I've always gotten a kick out of defying authority. Just wait, we want to name our next album The Second Coming of Christ.

The Unforgiven

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