Dear Pioneer Couple:

by Atilla 15 Replies latest jw friends

  • Atilla
    Atilla

    My parents became dubs in the late 70's, after the 1975 debacle. Admitedly, my mom did have one dub relative on her side of the family but the main reason my parents became dubs was because of one influential and convincing pioneer couple who studied with them. I know we are all mostly victims of victims but often I think of what if, what if that pioneer couple had never studied with my parents, perhaps I would have had a much better childhood and a better start to my adulthood. More disturbing is the fact that now that I know what I know about the WT and the year 1975, among many other things, how could they of in good conscience preached to my parents?

    It just so happens that I know where that pioneer couple live, (they actually live in Grenada in the special pioneering work), and I was thinking of writing them a pay it forward type of letter. It might read like this:

    Dear Pioneer Couple

    I am the son of Mr. and Mrs. **************, no doubt you remember my parents from your old KH and how you brought them into the "truth". I am writing to let you know that your damaging message stops here. I will never be a Witness, and I will make it my goal to make sure that everyone knows the real truth about the corruption of the WT. I want to thank you for my wonderful childhood. I want to thank you for never being in any school activities. I want to thank you for never having a girlfriend. I want to thank you for all those missed holidays. I want to thank you totally screwing up my life and my parent's life. (I might go on but you get the point.) Anyways, all of your work is being undone. I realize you are not totally to blame and that someone else studied with you before you studied with my parents. Thus, please forward this letter to them as well. Also, please feel welcome to write a response to explain your actions.

    Sincerely

  • Quotes
    Quotes

    Intersting. Are you really going to send it?

    I predict "water of a duck's back" response". But if it helps you heal, then it is worth it.

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    I think it's therapeutic to record your feelings in writing. Sending it, of course, may only make this couple think the worse of you.

    They were only doing what they believed to be right in calling on your parents with the Watchtower's message. They likely felt their lives and the lives of their listeners were at stake.

    Since they're still special pioneering, it'll probably be hard to sway them. Wouldn't it be strange if they wrote you back to try to witness to you again? (Special pioneers need to get their time in somehow....)

    The damage has been done in your life (and in all the lives of us who grew up in "da troof" and missed out on a large amount of normalcy). At some point, once our own feelings are worked out, we just have to go on and make the most of the time left we have remaining on this tiny planet we call home.

    This couple isn't really the worst culprits in all this. At least you have something other than "witness activity" in your life now. They don't and probably never will.

  • yxl1
    yxl1
    Sending it, of course, may only make this couple think the worse of you.

    I dont think Atila really cares. I say go for it, and make sure you put in every detail of how the WTS has buggered up your childhood. Give actual accounts of incidents that happened...all of them. Mention things that not only affected you, but every child growing up in the cult. It probably wont make a dent in their "spiritual armor", but at least they'll be aware that not everyone who gets sucked into the so called "spiritual paradise" is happy and content. Just keep to the facts and dont let emotions carry the letter. Good luck and keep us posted.

    Just do it!

    yxl1

  • Maverick
    Maverick

    I know writing such a letter is cathartic. I wrote one to the PO of my old Hall. I worded in such a way that he did not realize I was trashing him until the end of the letter. You may want to reconsider the blame aspect of your letter. Can you put it all on that couple? They were dupes as agents for the WTS Printing Corporation. Pawns with no power or true knowledge of the harm they helped perpetuate. Maybe you could entreat them to reconsider their willing role in the suffering and furtherance of lies about the True God? Do they really love God? Should they not ponder the true value of their efforts? Are their motives pure? I hope this helps. Maverick

  • czarofmischief
    czarofmischief

    dupes of dupes of dupes...

    well, give it a shot. Can't hurt.

    CZAR

  • Stefanie
    Stefanie
    Back down the bully to the back of the bus
    Cause it's time for them to be scared of us
    Till you're yelling, how we living cause you got the ball
    Then you rock on baby, rock on, you rock on

    AtillaI say send it. Who cares what they will think of you. I send these lyrics because this song helped me heal. I know you know where its from, but just in case you dont, its 3eb- wounded from Blue.

    Do they really love God? Should they not ponder the true value of their efforts? Are their motives pure? I hope this helps. Maverick

    Maybe reading the letter will help them see the damage they contributed to. This might lead to them taking a closer look at the troof.

    Edited because I dont know how to type.

  • Atilla
    Atilla

    I think I will send the letter because I hate silence. Deafening silence is all I hear now and I hate the idea that they think they are better than me. I know you can't change what people think of you but I hate the idea that many of my former JW friends may think oh, he probably still believes yet is too weak to come back. This is what I detest.

  • DevonMcBride
    DevonMcBride
    More disturbing is the fact that now that I know what I know about the WT and the year 1975, among many other things, how could they of in good conscience preached to my parents?

    I would also include this question in your letter.

    Devon

  • JamesThomas
    JamesThomas

    Dear Atilla, I too was raised imprisoned and stifled by the Org. Your negative feelings toward your parents and those responsible for bringing your parents into the Witnesses is understandable. However, what is dwelling on unchangeable past events doing to you -- right now? Is it making this moment -- the only moment you have -- more pleasurable and peaceful, or is it hiding the joy and beauty that is here now? I have found that we all do the best we can with what we know. Your parents dragged you under the surface of their religion in hopes of saving your life and insuring your future in paradise. The "Pioneer couple" who studied with your parents did so out of concern for their (your parents) future as well. No one meant any harm, in fact just the opposite. In a way you were -- as I was -- simply a victim of love and concern that was unfortunately guided by ignorance. We can review the past in one of two ways: acknowledge the love and concern and let that be the seed of our remembrance, and live our life in peace now; or focus instead on our past pain and suffering via others ignorance and mistaken trust in a religion, and carry "hate" which is a heavy burden with a high price of present moment bitterness and the inability to clearly see and appreciate what we have. We often have more power to choose our present reality than we think. Forgiveness, is a surfacing from the dark waters of the past that we may live and breath freely now. It is the healthiest thing you can do for you which will also touch positively all those around you. Peace be with you, dear Atilla.

    j

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