One of the meetings I had with the elders was when they were telling me to stop asking questions. I asked, "How does one learn truth if one doesn't ask questions?" There were alot of things said that I can't quite remember but I told them that I noticed alot of inconsistancies and one of those was how they say that you should not lean upon your own understanding of the Bible. You should believe what the Org tells you. They agreed with that.
Then I said, "What did Rutherford do when he founded the Bible students?"
"...What do you mean?"
"Let's crack out the Proclaimer's book and see what Rutherford did when he formed The Bible Students." I found the book in the back room, scanned a bit and started reading from the bio of Rutherford which detailed how he was going from one religion to another and then decided to throw away all preconcieved beliefs that he had and decided to read the entire Bible as if reading it for the first time. As if he never heard of Christianity or God before. It, in fact, said that he came to his own conclusions on spiritual matters and found all the other religions to be wrong.
After reading this I asked again, "So again, what did Rutherford do that you are asking me not to do?'
"You're not supposed to rely on your own understanding?"
"Then who'se is it that I'm supposed to rely on?"
"The Organization's."
"OK...and where did they get THEIR understanding from?"
"Jehovah, of course!"
"No, originally."
"I don't follow."
"They learned it from Rutherford. And how did he learn it?"
"...."
"By relying on his own understanding!"
"That's different. He was being guided by God," they said.
To which I said, "And how do you know I'm not? People said the same thing of Rutherford. They said he shouldn't do what he did, called him crazy. If this Org really is God's Org and those people were wrong then they weren't really a good judge of a person's spiritual status with God. Who's to say you're any better of a judge? But what you are telling me not to do is exactly what the founder of this religion did when he founded this religion! So if you're saying that doing that is WRONG then you are saying that this entire religion is WRONG!"
They quickly changed the subject but I wouldn't let them. I told them "We aren't done discussing this topic yet. Answer my question!" I wasn't letting them push me around and I wasn't letting them weasle their way out without answering my questions. I demanded answers and they refused to answer them. That was when I told them, "You claim, as elders, that you were appointed this position directly by God. As such you are bound by His laws. One of those laws is to be a spiritual leader and to provide guidance. If a sheep gets lost it is your responsibility to find him and guide him back to the flock with love and care. So guide me. Help me. Help me understand the answers to these questions. If you chose to not answer my questions then you give me no choice but to rely on my own understanding. So what's it going to be? Shall I rely on your understandings...or mine?"
The still refused to answer my questions. So I told them, "Then you FORCE me to rely on myself. You refuse to help me, to guide me. Therefore I find it impossible to rely on YOU. You have failed me through your inactions. Good day." And I walked out.
