Calling all Elders.. (page 2)

confusedjw

And he keeps apologizing for it. I've long since forgiven and forgotten,

Well that's something that he apologizes and you've forgiven him. Take him to a ball game and have a hotdog and scream your lungs out - it's what fathers and sons should do.

If I would have been paid even 10 cents, for all the things elders are responsible for. I would have been a multi millionaire by now, and retire royally. I did it all for free and waisted many years. And no one really appreciate much of what elders had to do in the borg.

Puternut

seeitallclearlynow

Thank you brothers, for reminding us of all you had to endure to fill the role of "elder."

I'm sure you realize there is a kind of love-dislike relationship a lot of us felt toward a lot of you.

I for one have criticized a lot of what the elders have done but I want you to know that I'm equally aware of the unfair load that was placed on you, especially on the sincere ones who really believed in what they were doing. After all, most of us truly believed for most of the time we were in the Organization and this applies equally to elders, servants, etc. The ones who displayed the bad qualities not simply attributable to human imperfection aside, the hardworking elder sacrificed a great deal to fulfill the impossible role they were given.

I know this first hand, because like Lyin' Eyes I was married to an elder for many years and though I never believed that he really loved or cared about people, he did work extremely hard to shine as an elder, sacrificing any family time that could have been enjoyed. I really hate him for that now, but at the time I felt it was what was required of him. I know some good men who are much like confused jw and I love them for trying so hard to help and protect the congregation, my son in particular. One actually has a number of "friends" in his Book Study who aren't even in his congregation!! They won't go anywhere else! And here I was obediently attending the boring Book Study I was assigned to....But he half-laughingly says he walks on eggs at his Book Study because he has all the people who are barely in "the truth" who are hanging by a thread and might walk out tomorrow never to return - he's fearful of his every word in case he says the wrong thing and "causes" one of them to be stumbled.

Now that is too much pressure on a good man - obviously it wouldn't be his fault if they left - but how can you help but love this guy???

rocketman

I'm sure you realize there is a kind of love-dislike relationship a lot of us felt toward a lot of you.

Very true. And having been on both sides of that equation, I can say that I disliked elders when I was not serving as one. Funny thing though - even when I was one, I disliked them. I saw certain qualities even more closely that were a turn-off. And I disliked myself too. I saw what I had become - a company man for the wts, a judge of people whom I was as weak as or weaker than.

And yes, what the wts demands is pretty much impossible. Then you'd have the CO coming through and telling you to juggle work, family, and all the jw stuff and make it all work in harmony and yet they never really helped us to do that. We were somehow just supposed to manage it all.

And you're cut no slack at all, either as a jw or an elder. Attend all meetings. Lead out in service. Shepherd. Prepare thoroughly for all meetings. Handle judicial matters. Keep your family spiritually active. I used to sit there, especially during CO meetings, and ask myself why they just couldn't cut us (and all jws) some slack. Schedule one less meeting per week or something.

Well, it's the religion of the scribes and the Pharisees, so I'm not surprised any more.

BluesBrother

I guess that confusedjw and black adder said it all for me too.

Definately it was the other elders that you had difficulty with , the rest of the congo were ok. A more chauvanistic ego tripping bunch of Type A Personalities , I have yet to meet ( With a few notable exceptions). And that spread over 24 years and four congregations.

it was so hard to put on a face of unity, when you often felt the judgement wrong about an individual Then there was the grotty jobs like the Secretary that kept being foisted on me. And my anger with myself for allowing that to happen , Your home life suffers ...

I could go on having a good winge. in a self pitying mood but i hope someone would tell me to stop moaning .

I did enjoy giving the talks, I did enjoy dealing with the brothers, and I miss the association and , to be honest the bit of status that went with it.

NewYork44M

I will just comment on a few of these. I was an elder for three and a half years, and a MS for approx 15 years.

Conducting the Book Study

I hated it.

Giving Public Talks (trying to squeeze sense out of a one page summary of total crap)

I had several outlines that just about sounded the same. This meant that I could give basically the same talk when I was out of town no matter what outline the congregation assigned. I could usually schedule a talk about every six weeks. Out of town speakers could generally expect to get a free meal

Being an Attendant at Assemblies

Some how I missed that "privilege"

Being food/cleaning/work overseer at Assemblies & quickbuilds

See above

Auditing the Finances/paying in contributions at the bank

Usually had no problem with either. I was the account servant for many-many years and was pretty good at it. The tellers at the bank were cute.

Taking the lead in unassigned territory service

I avoided at all cost taking the lead

Shepherding calls !!!!! OMG !!!!!

Hated these

JC's

The worst

Serving the Emblems

Generally not much of a hassle

Giving counsel at the school/weaklings/youth(e.g young sisters wearing mini skirts & makeup)

I was not much for giving counsel.

Being always positive about the "New Light" and the GB.

Tried to always avoid conversations about the "truth"

Brother Beyond

I was an elder for 9 years, i didnt mind so much the talks etc.

What I hated was the cover up when other elders did wrong!!

That is why I resigned as an elder!!

BB

LittleToe

I hated being the Accounts Servant.

I hated totting up the hours even more, when I became Secretary.

Dealing with hardline Elders was probably the real bane of my life, though.
Some folks can only see black and white, with absolutely no shades of grey.
It made some Elder's meetings a nightmare.

bem

I agree with seeitallcl...I want to appreciate & appologize all at the same time. appreciate the time given & appologize for asking for loving guidance I used to want to leave encounters running & crying I always thought it was me. I thought I was not gettin it.

Calling all Elders..

Share this