JST2LAWS is TOAST!
After 29 years I am officially no longer serving as an elder. Those who knew I was still serving would only be surprised that I took so long. I have been walking a tight rope of conscience far too long. About 5 years ago I resigned as Presiding Overseer but continued to serve as an elder. For about 3 years I have been evading service meeting assignments that I could not in good conscience handle. The last 9 months I have given every part assigned to me but gave it my way neglecting the garbage and teaching the truth relevant to the theme. My public talks have been either praised or challenged. As talk coordinator for the congregation I quit assigning myself out to avoid controversy.
In the last three years I have taken two CO’s in the back room to counsel them about their unchrist-like behavior. Starting about a year ago the ‘fit hit the san’ over conscience matters and recently I discerned my only option was to fake injury before the umpires threw me out of the game. It’s final now, “no longer serving” (at least a bit better than “Deleted”) after 10 years in the full-time work, 6 at Bethel, 17 as a presiding overseer, with a variety of circuit and district responsibilities. The official notice came without even mentioning the charges in my scathing resignation letter, lacking any “thanks for your 35 years of dedication and sacrifice”, sealed with the cold and indifferent red rubber stamp.
As indifferent as the WT response has been I’m not bitter nor sad. I will admit I am angry, with myself, for suppressing doubts for 25 years; for confusing loyalty to an organization (definition = unwavering obedience to a divine club) and for raising my children under the cloud of this cult mentality. As for my children, at least our family study for 2 decades has been reading the Bible together instead of reading the Watchtower. This has been good for us.
So now I am free of leadership in something I cannot even follow, but I have only resigned as a servant in the Borg. You will probably agree I have a long ways to go to freedom. Perhaps this is the beginning, especially knowing at least 2 if not half a dozen publishers in my congregation are online, at sights that probably include this one. This post may well expose my family. (One sister is upset since reading "Paying Attention To the Flock" online. Thanks Jan and Kent and anyone else involved) After decades of postponement it is happening fast as if to catch up.
If any doubting Witness is reading this, your doubts are not something of which to be ashamed. Scriptural faith is only to be in God and the ransom of Jesus Christ. Doubts about men and their leadership is not just normal but scriptural and commendable. Believe only God who tells you in Psalms 146 :3 do “Do not put YOUR trust in nobles, Nor in the son of earthling man, to whom no salvation belongs.” I am personally aquatinted with the members of the GB. They are not God, they are “earthly man”. Accept your personal responsibility to learn and stand before God, “4 To his own master he stands or falls. Indeed, he will be made to stand, for Jehovah can make him stand.” Romans 14:3-4
Your friend Jst2laws