"Safest in the middle" and other stupid sayings

by ozziepost 12 Replies latest jw friends

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  ozziepost

  Over the years a whole multitude of stupid or just plain illogical sayings have come from Kingdom Hall platforms.

  Take this one as an example:

  Brother so-an-so is encouraging the congregation to be fully occupied in congregation activity. You know the drum, don't you? Then he says: "The safest place is in the middle where Satan can't pick you off."

  Now how stupidly illogical is that? By definition only a few of the congregation could be "in the middle". If all the congregation was "in the middle" there'd be no-one on the outside would there? In short, there must always be some "in the middle" and some "on the fringe". That's simple logic.

  Also, of course, the R&F should thank the weak ones in their congregation for they occupy the fringe positions enabling the others to enjoy the safety of "the middle".

  OK, what stupid sayings, illogical in nature, have you heard at the KH?

  Please share.

  Cheers, Ozzie
• 

  run dont walk

  that the bethel and all kingdom halls would survive Armageddon
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  FMZ

  Yup. I have heard one. One MASSIVE stupid phrase. So big, in fact, it has taken over a century to tell. I listened to it for 20 years and still didn't get to her the punchline.

  FMZ
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  run dont walk

  that the worst person at the kingdom hall, is better then the best person in the world !

  how many times i heard that one, so i guess JW child molesters are better then the best people (who are not molesters) in the world, hhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmm
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  Satanus

  Oz

  Yah, i remember that well. The sheep on the outside edge can get picked off by satan. I actually managed to hang w the central clique for two decades, even though i wasn't that good at anything, watchtowerly speaking. It didn't keep me from going apostate.

  SS
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  Mary

  In the old Aid to Bible Understanding it says that while beastiality is gross and disgusting, it doesn't fall under "pornia" and is therefore not grounds for a scriptural divorce.

  One sister I knew told me that she knew a sister who divorced her husband for having sex with their dog and she was promptly disfellowshipped for going against was "Mother" said. She eventually committed suicide as she lost all her family and friends and couldn't handle it. Nothing ever happened to hubby except that he got remarried and eventually because an elder. Nice eh?
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  Dawn

  I always hated "don't run ahead of the organization".....aka - don't use your brain or even try to think for yourself. WE will tell you when, how, and what to think
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  boa

  well, there are soooooo many.....

  but one that comes to mind and really P'd me off was a bro from the platform (a real loser imo and one of these 'everything is soooo nice in da troof and isn't it all wonderful?' kinda guys) trying to encourage everyone to only associate with those 'as strong as you in da troof or stronger'!

  Well, obviously this is a total stinky crap statement from several angles. Its not logical, isn't biblical in the slightest, is anti-Jesus, and it is an addition to the many things that helped me get 'out'.

  Another one that comes to mind is the illustration that 'living in the day to day world 'discharges' your 'spiritual' battery and you need the meetings to reindoctrinate recharge your 'spiritual' batteries!' I used this illustration myself several times for satan's sake! - sheesh.....

  boa.....
• 

  Corvin

  Floyd Kyte, a visiting elder giving the publice talk said, "Friends, if you are looking for perfection in Jehovah's organization, you are not going find it. Take a look around and think of the most spiritual person you know in this congregation. Brothers and sisters, even that person still has 1,000 years to go . . . It's been said that 50% of the brothers and sisters in the congregation are here to test the other half . . . some you see sitting here today that you are absolutely sure will make it into the new sytem won't, and some of the ones you think would never make it you will be surprised to see them there . . . "

  OMG! Those statements have been the most memorable of all the shyte I heard from the platform and left me wondering about alot. They were made soon after the publication of Ray Franz's first book, Crisis of Conscience.

  Corvin
• 

  Puternut

  'The grass is always greener on the otherside'......... have you ever turned grass over? Never made sense. It's pretty dirty......

  Puternut