I had to respond here too. I have had a similar experience, in having to care for elderly parents who didn't plan for retirement because the end was coming. My parents divorced in 1969 when I was pregnant with my third child. My father had a large estate, which he practically handed over the entire thing to my mother, who promptly remarried. She married a wonderful man, that we all adore, but who is now dying of cancer and has Alzheimer's disease. He is in a home. Mom now has no resources, other than her Social Security, because she 'blew' all the money because 1975 was coming, so why not spend it all. How anyone can go through that much money in less than 10 years is a miracle. She didn't share a dime either. The IRS did get about $100,000 though, thank you very much. Dear old Dad, is in great health, but blind, lives with us. He has nothing, but Social Security income. So much for having been a very successful doctor. Poor investments, and victimized by every scam artist around, until we moved him in with us, two years ago. Mom is a true believer, and I will say this about the dubs. They are very attentive to her and to her husband, and they are very much loved. Of course we were all in the same congregation too, so since we are no longer 'in the truth', they think we are pond scum, so they think they are taking up the slack. And they are, to tell the truth. One of the sisters gives Mom $100 a month to help her with her expenses now, that she has lost her husband's Social Security. Her husband's ex wife does the same (not a dub), as do we and our children, too. My father even chips in $100 a month for her since his SS is twice what hers is. So, she doesn't have to move in with one of us, which she really doesn't want to do. Anyway, my point is that Mom's congregation is helping her. I would be torn in another direction, if they weren't there for her.