They sure like to generalize.....

by desib77 11 Replies latest jw friends

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  desib77

  My mother called a little bit ago to talk. She works at an S.O.S. school ( a place where all the "bad" kids go). She was telling me how horrible the kids were, drug dealers, pregnant teens....and so on.....then she went on to tell me that it is just a shame that the world is that way. Teens are just "so bad these days".....

  It really irritated me. I let her finish and then told her, "Well of course they are bad at the S.O.S. school....but there are many intelligent teens that do very well in school and in life. It just so happens they get to attend regular school."

  She then told me that she used to be so proud of me "not being a part of the world" and that she was thankful I "abstained" from all of that.....

  Too bad she is disappointed in me now. Now that I finally am becoming someone for her to be proud of.

  Desi
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  cruzanheart

  More importantly, you are becoming someone that YOU can be proud of. Because at the end of the day, when all is said and done, it's your opinion of yourself that really matters. I know Mom's words are ingrained into us like water carvings on stone, but that's about THEM not US.

  And, for what it's worth, I think you're terrific! Hope you do too!

  Love,

  Nina
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  Valis

  Hi desi! Hope my newest mudbugs are doing well!....Anyway it shouldn't suprise you...remember heavenly hope depends on everything going to hell in a handbasket...besides working at a school for the malcontents doesn't mean you have done anything else to alleviate thier predicaments...well besides direct them to the YPA on a monthly basis...Have a good day and hope to see you in May!

  Sincerely,

  District Overbeer
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  desib77

  Aw, thanks Nina.... You sure are a great cheerer upper....

  It is still funny to me how I'm 26 years old and one phone call from my mother can still make me feel so horrible.....

  Oh well, just something for me to work on.

  Desi
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  desib77

  The funny thing is that she got moved to the S.O.S. school because she couldn't "get along" with others. They got sick of being witnessed to and this was sort of her punishment.....but of course she won't see it that way. She sees it as a "blessing from Jehovah."

  Have a good day and hope to see you in May!

  Thanks, Valis.....Still hoping we will be able to make it. Sounds like lots of fun!

  Desi
• 

  rocketman

  Yes, they do generalize. My daughter and I just had a conversation about that recently, and she readily picked up on how jws automatically assigned kids of the so-called "world" to the trash-bin of life, failing to point out that many of the so-called "worldly" kids were better behaved than their jw counterparts.
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  talesin

  Did you ever hear someone making a joke on TV about Jewish mothers and how they can give the worst guilt trips? Whenever I hear this, I think "But you don't have a JW mother!"

  It's hard to swallow. I always told mine "well, at least I am happy with my chosen path, and I'm not out there murdering anyone. Or would you prefer that I live a double life like so-and-so, you know, go to the KH, but be 'worldly' in secret? How do you think Jehover will judge them?"

  I also told her straight up that I did not appreciate being held responsible for her happiness. I explained to her that it was not fair to lay this burden on me. Maybe she would prefer that I die now, so that she could see me in the resurrection? She has finally (after 25 years) come to the realization that I have free will as well as the right to exercise it, as she did when she was young. Also she has admitted that maybe I would never have 'fit in' to the congregation, and I made the 'right' choice.

  Be happy in your life, that is the best evidence to mom that she can be proud of you. If she is lucky, she will someday accept your choices, and have a mother-daughter relationship that is more fulfilling. And you don't have to live with the day-to-day guilt that you are 'making' your parents unhappy. It is their choice to believe this clap-trap, they are doing it to themselves.

  Be proud of yourself for making a good choice under duress. Live life to its fullest!

  talesin
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  Carmel

  Spot on NINA!

  caveman
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  Carmel

  Spot on NINA!

  caveman
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  avishai

  Teens are just "so bad these days".

  It's parents who are so bad these days. She needs to look at why the dubs have a 75-90% leaving rate, and a much higher rate of self-destructive behaviors. I'm sure they'll blame it on "the world", without keeping in mind that these kids lose everyone in their life, business contacts, etc., and are discouraged from higher education, + even in school they don't have nearly enough time to study, etc. So, tell her to put htat in her pipe and smoke it.