Join the Great Crowd today!

by UnDisfellowshipped 12 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  UnDisfellowshipped

  Come one, come all -- come join "the Great Crowd of Other Sheep" today!

  Look at all the "benefits" you will receive (taken directly from Watchtower Publications):

  * You will NOT have Jesus Christ as your Mediator between you and God.

  * You will have the "Faithful and Discreet Slave" as your only Mediator between you and Jesus and God.

  * You will NOT be Born Again.

  * You will NOT be in the Kingdom of God.

  * You will NOT be baptized by The Holy Spirit.

  * You will NOT be Anointed by The Holy Spirit.

  * You will NOT have The Holy Spirit abide in you.

  * You will NOT be one of the saints or holy ones.

  * You will NOT be adopted as "sons of God" until you pass the Final Test at the end of the 1,000 Year Millennial Reign of the 144,001, and then, if you pass that test, you can still be destroyed if you rebel against the 144,001, even though the "Anointed Ones" are given immortal life immediately upon death, and they never have to pass any future tests.

  * You will never be immortal -- you can always be destroyed by God in the future for "apostasy".

  * You will NOT be viewed as being perfect in God's eyes until after the Final Test at the end of the 1,000 years, even though the Anointed Ones are viewed as being perfect at their baptism.

  Can anyone else add any additional "benefits" to this list?
• 

  BluesBrother

  1) You will not be turned into toast at the big A.

  2) Whoever it is that you are married to, you will live with them for an interminable eternity.

  3) You will never eat a Big Mac ever again , but eat vegetarian

  4) You will learn to speak ancient Hebrew and learn to forget your present language

  5) You will wear a beard (If you are a man), instead of it being frowned upon as it is right now

  6) You will spend an eternity gardening
• 

  gespro

  The gardening part I could get into...!
• 

  got my forty homey?

  And dont forget that since you will be living forever you will probably get to explore space and its countless stars and planets, you'll have eternity to do it! And we'll be perfect so we will invent the bestus spaceships ever made!
• 

  dustyb

  And dont forget that since you will be living forever you will probably get to explore space and its countless stars and planets, you'll have eternity to do it! And we'll be perfect so we will invent the bestus spaceships ever made!

  spaceships cause pollution. anyways, the watchtower says aliens are creations of satan.

  6) You will spend an eternity gardening

  gardening deteriorates soil and causes runoff pollution if you have a big farm and use fertilizer.

  2) Whoever it is that you are married to, you will live with them for an interminable eternity.

  if your spouse dies in this lifetime tho, he/she is shit out of luck.

  4) You will learn to speak ancient Hebrew and learn to forget your present language

  ancient hebrew is really really hard, can i just keep on speaking american like i always do?
• 

  Blueblades

  And when you reach perfection, you will not be allowed to eat a certain fruit forever.
• 

  boa

  You will not be allowed to enjoy oral sex (a peck on the end of the pecker may be ok - its up to your conscience), but if you do, you will not be able to publicly talk about it - snort.

  boa
• 

  got my forty homey?

  About speaking Hebrew, Woody Allen once said he asked a Rabbi the meaning of life and the Rabbi told him in Hebrew, but since he didn't understand Hebrew the Rabbi wanted to charge him $600 for Hebrew lessons!
• 

  Mary

  You will be allowed to clean up 6 billion dead bodies after Armageddon
• 

  UnDisfellowshipped

  Here's some more "benefits" of joining the Great Crowd:

  * You will NOT be in the New Covenant with Jesus.

  * You will NOT be allowed to partake of the Bread and Wine at the Lord's Evening Meal.

  * You will NEVER go to Heaven to live with Jesus Christ.

  * You will NEVER see God or Jesus Christ.

  * You will NEVER have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

  * You will NOT be allowed to pray to Jesus Christ.