It's really the way you look at it. Comparisons would be:
A hostage exchange. Say one country has a political prisoner of an opposing country and visa versa. So they agree to a trade off.
Man's enemy is the LAW, the law that our father Adam broke and threw away our lives. This was part of Satan's plot, to kill all mankind which he actually accomplished, in theory. In order to save mankind, God said that if another perfect man was willing to give up his own right to a perfect human family then he'd accept the adoption in order to give Adam's innocent children a second chance, which was pretty decent. Of course, that infuriated Satan since it sort of undid what he had set up.
In other words, say Adam sinned and deserved death. That was that. God could have just said, okay, Satan, Adam and Eve, good-bye, I'm starting over. And he would have made another couple and begun again. But..God saw the individuals who were lost of Adam's children. The next couple would not have the same children. All those potentially wonderful people would have been lost like you, John the Baptist, Daniel, Moses, Nehemiah, so many nice folks! So what God said was what if the new couple, instead of having their own children, would agree to adopt Adam's children? If so they'd have a second chance.
So the Ramson sacrifice was set up. That basically entailed though, arranging for a perfect human to be born and then taking his body away from him in the exchange, which means he would have to die at some point. That individual could be resurrected but his perfect body would be confiscated.
So it was necessary. The LAW had to stay in place though, otherwise, there would be chaos. Without those laws, God could not "legally" destroy Satan and other angels that had become wicked.
Perhaps the concept that is best understood by those who might find God barbaric is the concept of property rights. If you owned a garden, you should be able to decide if you want roses or cucumbers, since it's YOUR garden. God has a right to have it his way. Furthermore, God doesn't OWE anybody a single thing. LIFE is a GIFT, not a right.
So the real judgment of God is simply this: Would you have preferred never to have been born, never to have lived? Or would you prefer having a chance to live forever later on even if you have a life of suffering and eventual death in order to be born?
But don't worry, everything will work out. Those people who prefer to be dead forever will be given that opportunity. God is not going to force anybody to stay alive and be bored or annoyed with the other people who like God's style and way of doing things. God (and his son) have no qualms about recognizing and eliminating defective humans or spirits. It's part of the trade off of having free moral agency.
JC