A 'sister' writes to Silentlambs

by abbagail 31 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

abbagail

From: [email protected]
Date: Wed, 21 Apr 2004 17:04:04 -0500 (CDT)
Subject: A sister writes

LAMBS!! While I read these stories I get deeply saddened, yet irritated too. I am appalled at all the abuse that has taken place and it breaks my heart. I am an active Jehovah's Witness in a very loving congregation. I love Jehovah so very much and I KNOW that He is also appalled by abuse, and also misuse of power. Anyone who truly knows their bible knows that about Him. I am saddened and angered when I see people leave Jehovah because of some stupid jerks in some congregations. I have personally known some myself. If you read the official statement about child abuse at the Watchtower's site, you will see that they in NO WAY condone "covering up" abuse. I truly believe that. But I do know that there are some elders and others in our Organization that have some serious issues, and they are causing a lot of reproach on Jehovah's organization. That really ticks me off.

BUT, I truly believe we need to put some of the blame on ourselves. I think many of these horrible incidents of abuse could have been possibly prevented, nipped in the bud, or resolved much better than they were if people used some common sense.

Let me tell you my abuse story as an example: I was raised as a witness, but as I reached my teen years, my father was slowly turning away from Jehovah and towards alcohol and lust. His drinking and verbal and physical abuse kept getting worse until my mother was laying on her bed one day wondering what to do and praying to Jehovah for guidance. I came in shortly later and confessed that dad had been fondling me whenever he was drunk, but I was too ashamed to say anything. She took that as Jehovah answering her prayer and made her decision. BUT...for good measure, she went to the elders for their opinion. Well, in that congregation, at the time, there was this one elder who had extreme "issues". He told her in so many words NOT to leave my dad. My mom said "Oh yeah, WATCH ME!!" She went home and kicked my dad out of the house. There was a huge fight and lots of screaming, but he did leave, and the ulcer I had eventually went away. My mom remained in good standing (and still is today). She knew this elder was wrong, and she knew what Jehovah wanted her to do. She could have listened to this elder and lived in misery and had her daughter's life ruined completely, or she could have let that elder stumble her so bad she left the truth. But she had common sense, relied on Jehovah, and overlooked that this elder was stupid and a jerk.

I KNOW that there are many worse stories than mine, and all circumstance are different. But it boggles me that so many people blame the elders, if something is "covered up", or if you get crappy advice from them.

--If something needs uncovered, UNCOVER IT!!!
--If they give you wrong advice, DON'T FOLLOW IT !!!!

If you have a close personal relationship with Jehovah God and have a very good knowledge of His word the Bible, you KNOW when an elder is giving bad advice, and feel confident in your own decisions. The elders are not the law givers, they are not gods, they are our shepherds. I have been given wrong counsel from elders (which I did NOT follow), I have been wrongly accused, I have even been unjustly yelled at by one. BUT... I don't serve these imperfect men, I serve Jehovah, who IS perfect, and I am content to wait on him to bring a perfectly 'just' world.

LISTEN--the elders are IMPERFECT MEN. They make mistakes and a few of them, I'm sorry to say, are jerks. They CAN NOT TELL YOU WHAT TO DO. You cannot get disfellowshipped for not following their advice. You can only get disfellowshipped if you have committed a grave sin and have no remorse over it. If you are wrongly DF'ed, then you can appeal it to a neutral panel of elders from various congregations, and they get help from the society.

If it is a matter of CHILD ABUSE, whether physical or sexual, GO STRAIGHT TO THE POLICE. NO IF'S, AND'S OR BUT'S. Who cares if the abuser is an elder, P.O., C.O., or President of the Watchtower Society. I am telling you right now, if anyone so much as touched my kids, I would not rest until that person was in prison, no matter who they were, or what some elder told me to do. YOU DON'T NEED AN ELDER'S PERMISSION TO GET THE POLICE INVOLVED OR TO LEAVE AN ABUSIVE SITUATION. If an abuser doesn't get disfellowshipped like you want, well, put him in jail if you can. I know even that isn't always possible, but if a matter does not get resolved the way you'd like, please just wait on Jehovah. Jehovah does not want people to be abused. Especially innocent children. Don't leave Jehovah because of some bad elders. Jehovah WILL take care of them in time. Elders have a much greater responsibility and therefore accountability before Jehovah, and He is angered and WILL take care of any injustice and abuse of power when the time is right.

I personally know of two separate incidents where Witness families had their children molested by some brother in their halls. I think both were Ministerial Servants. But these families did not pursue justice because they did not want to "rile things up" or "rock the boat". GIVE ME A BREAK. But it was no one's fault but THEIR OWN. No one encouraged them to do this. They put the feelings and well being of their children on the back burner, and they have to live with that.

If a child is being abused.....ROCK THE BOAT, PEOPLE!!! CAUSE A TYPHOON!!!! If you don't, you only have YOURSELF TO BLAME. But don't leave Jehovah over it. Jehovah loves you and is deeply saddened by your broken spirit. Please return to Him if you've left.

Fortunately, I have a pretty forgiving heart, and can overlook a lot in a brother and still love them. The one thing I never overlook is child molestation. I personally know a couple of brothers who did that in their past. But because of varying circumstances, (nothing to do with any elders) they "got away with it". Only Jehovah knows what is in their heart now, but I do not give them any of my love or kindness, and I don't feel one bit guilty over that. I know Jehovah loves me very much regardless.

Thank you for letting me get this off of my chest.
S.M.
cruzanheart

don't leave Jehovah over it

And there's the problem: Jehovah = Brooklyn Bethel. I agree with her sentiments about using common sense but she still has a very childlike trust in an organization that's rotten to the core. I had that same feeling for a while, and I wrote letters to the Society trusting that the guys at the top would do the right thing. They didn't and I finally realized that the crap started at the top and was handed down reverently to the elders.
Nina
abbagail

It is wonderful this lady had a strong mother who stood up for her.
Yet, how many other little kids, whose parents are "blind" due to WT brainwashing, are forced to suffer because their parents are 'brainwashed' by the WT's "we are no part of the world" teaching, so the parents are too afraid to get outside help/call police, etc.?

And, if the elders who whimped out on these innocent children, were REAL MEN of God, THEY would grab a phone and call the police THEMSELVES, even if the family is too chicken to do so! Do they need a law by Caesar to tell them to do so? What about the "law in their hearts"? Huh????

---------

AND...
Leaving the WT ORG is NOT the same as 'leaving Jehovah.'
The WT does NOT have a 'monopoly' on GOD.
The WT has lied over and over (are they repenting in dust and ashes - yet?)
The WT's teachings are not the 'correct words of truth.'
Jesus opened the way for ALL MEN to PARTAKE for the forgiveness of their sins/healing. This is NOT confined to 'the anointed/FDS/little flock.'
Some may have left the WT because of abuse, but I can guarantee you they don't go back, NOT because of the abuse or lousy elders, but because since leaving they are FREE to FIND THE REAL TRUTH in Christ without GUILT, and NOT as the WT had brainwashed us into believing their 'party line' of how things are reserved for only an 'elect' few.
The WT is a heirarchy, just like the CC which they despise.
And I could go on and on...
/ag
bikerchic

Some may have left the WT because of abuse, but I can guarantee you they don't go back, NOT because of the abuse or lousy elders, but because since leaving they are FREE to FIND THE REAL TRUTH in Christ without GUILT, and NOT as the WT had brainwashed us into believing their 'party line' of how things are reserved for only an 'elect' few. The WT is a heirarchy, just like the CC which they despise.
And I could go on and on...
/ag

I recently had a conversation with a JW which literally made my stomach turn at how she kept using the JW terminology how I know it's the truth? and where else could I possibly go......I finally had to cut the conversation off it was making me sick! They are so unbelievably brainwashed!
I'm so glad to be free of all that crap!
Kate
jgnat

I vote we campaign to get this article published in the Awake. Yes, too bad Jehovah is equated with the organization, but I have to admire this sister's guts and sincere faith. Besides, she writes better than most of those bethel hacks.
Waddya say? Wanna start a new letter-writing campaign?
Do you think Bethel will be as responsive as the UN?
abbagail

I agree the individual JW families who suffer abuse should 'raise cain' as that sister says, but like cruzanheart said, the chances of it doing any good are nil.

This scripture came across my path this morning and seemed a perfect fit for this subject...

DAILY BIBLE VERSE
From: "Christ Notes"
Date: Fri, 23 Apr 2004 03:06:20 -0400

For the commandments, "You shall not commit adultery," "You
shall not murder," "You shall not steal," "You shall not bear
false witness," "You shall not covet," and if there is any other
commandment, are all summed up in this saying, namely, "You
shall love your neighbor as yourself." -- Romans 13:9 (NKJV)
-----

So, hmmm, let me get this straight... Elders will not call for help (police, state children's services, etc.) for any of their abused sheep UNLESS the law in their state says they MUST. How "loving of your neighbor" is that, waiting for Caesar to TELL you that you MUST help your 'neighbor'? :-/

Also, as a JW, whether elder, MS, CO, DO, or just regular member of the cong, what if you suspected or knew your 'worldly' neighbor's kid or wife, etc. was being abused? Would you just stick your head in the sand and let the child suffer? Or would you "Love Your Neighbor as Yourself" and GET HELP for the 'worldly' child/wife, etc.?

Or, would the JW-attitude be: "Well, that's what they get for still being in the 'world.' We've witnessed to those neighbors so many times, and they still won't join up with us at the KH, so they deserve what they get. Besides, JAH is going to destroy them all at Armageddon anyway, so why bother getting involved?"

Notice the scripture does NOT say, "You must love ONLY your JW neighbor"!

If the so-called "loving shepherds" won't even call the police or CS for those who are their OWN (sheep), why would we think they would help a 'worldly' child/wife/family?

Just wonderin' ... :-/ and thinkin' out loud this morning, but I already know the answers 'cuz I used to be one of 'em.
/ag
SixofNine

Yes, God help the poor woman who doesn't have "common sense", or has had it systematically removed from her via indoctrination.
Nosferatu

This woman is definately blaming "human imperfection" for the problems that aren't taken care of. But how could so many JWs be imperfect in the same stupid way?
Makes you think, don't it?
abbagail

Ha! to jgnat... great idea but I think in the mag it's QUESTIONS from Readers, and not SUGGESTIONS from Readers, LOL. Hopefully, "SM" did submit a cc of her letter to the GB along with her original to SL, and if she didn't she should, just to see what would really happen to such 'rebellious Korah-like chatter.' [;-)]
/ag
searcher

Dear Sister SoSureofTheOrg
Send that letter to Brooklyn and see what happens.

A 'sister' writes to Silentlambs

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