To go, or not to go?

Insomniac

I'm planning a small vacation in about 2 month's time. I'll be going back to the city where I spent my teens through twenties. As you can imagine, this place holds a lot of memories for me-both good and bad. I've not been back in about ten years.

Nobody from my old congregation in this city knows I have left the borg. I would dearly love to see some of my old friends, if they are still there. Is it ethical, or wise, to just put on a dress and attend the meeting on Sunday, so I may run into them? I'm not da'd or df'd, just thoroughly faded. I also don't plan on getting into any confrontational discussions with the elders, as much as I may fantasize about doing so. It's somewhat possible that I won't even be recognized, as I have had some major reconstructive plastic surgery on my face (I look sort of pretty now!) and have allowed my hair to return to its natural color. Well, I've also aged a bit!

I just wonder if it would be hypocritical to attend a meeting just to find some old buds-I am NOT considering returning to that cult ever again. Please share your thoughts!

Holey_Cheeses*King_of_the juice.

sleepless one,

Not been back for ten years? and no one knows that you have left the borg? I doubt whether they would care.

Let sleeping dogs lie. Why invite trouble by going back to the KH. Could the people there really be counted as friends? as you seem to have not had physical contact nor heard from them for quite awhile. Find something else more constructive to do while you are visiting your old home town.

It may be ethical for you to don a dress and attend a meeting, but it would certainly be a topic for conversation if I were to do the same.

For me to ever enter a KH again, I would either have to be dead or comatose.

cheeses.

arrowstar

I agree with cheeses. Sweetie, don't put yourself in a position that has all the potential for disaster. This "reunion" could do more harm than good.

You've moved on and I know you want to close that chapter. But, I don't believe what you're considering is truly in your best interest. Your heart wants to share the laughter of friends. To remember and revisit that point in time. Can we really go back in time?

Dear, it's your decision and I will stand by your decision, but I have to tell you....I've got a bad feeling about it.

Lisa

xjw_b12

Insomniac:

I'm with Cheeses. Just the thought of going back into a KH makes me physically ill.

But I get the gist that you just want to see some old faces, and perhaps show them how well you are doing. My only concern for you is, could it get back to the city that you currently live in, that you showed up at your old KH? That could bring you back into the elder's radar again.

xjw_b12

Gretchen956

I did something of this sort once, and what I hadn't thought about before going was the questions. What congregation are you in now, oh, do you know so-and-so and his family? When they say you can never go back, its because of this potential for disaster. I really hope you reconsider.

Gretchen

lovinlife

I agree with xjw about being in the elders radar....you don't want to draw attention to yourself or they will try to find you and you will lose the peace you have now.

confusedjw

INSOMNIAC:

I go by the "Regret Theory of Decisions"

Which would give you the least regrets when you get back?

a.) Not having tried to contact your old buds?

b.) Contacting your old buds and having it go badly in some way?

c.) Contacting your old buds and have them find out you are faded and them contacting you when you get back?

Insomniac

Thanks, all. I have plenty to think about! I'd say there was no way they could connect me to my new area, it's too far away, but then we all know about the witness grapevine. Gossipy little cult, seems like everyone knows everyone else's business.

I guess I've been viewing it as I imagine people view their high school reunions-a couple of hours of reminiscing with people you no longer recognize, followed by a feeling of relief that high school is well and truly over and you never have to go back again. It actually would be convenient if none of them could place me, and I could just go anonymously. That's not likely to be the case, though. Bother.

shotgun

I agree with the other poster who said don't ruin a successful fade...they're almost impossible to achieve.

Take your pretty face back to visit where you grew up but don't go to the KH.

Country Girl

If you are thinking of going to the city I think you're going to, just call em up! hehehhe. They are still at the exact same place, with the exact same business, if you consider them your old friends. They won't know, I haven't said anything to them other than that you'd found me on the Internet. <grin>As far as going to the KH again, I don't even think most of the same crowd are there, it's gotten bigger, much bigger and split.

CG

To go, or not to go?

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