Parents don't understand...

by überRabbit 15 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Nosferatu

  I went through the same shit. When I was 16, I wanted out, but I had no escape. It's a terrible way to live. I left the JWs at age 18 1/2. I was forced to go for half a year after my 18th birthday. My last meeting was when I gave a talk in the Theocrappic Misery School.

  However, there's some things you can do to ease the burden. Have LOTS of homework to keep you away from some of the meetings. The book studies and TMS/Service meeting are the easiest to get out of. Just to make it look like I had tons of homework, I took up writing a journal. It kept me entertained while I waited for my parents to leave for the meeting. I'm now using my journal entries to write an autobiography. To avoid field service, and any confrontation with the elders (from not going out), write fake hours on your report slip. They can't do nothing about it. You also might want to ask to get your job shifts on meeting nights. Making money is better than listening to WT bullshit.

  Two years can seem like a long time to wait. Just try and make the best of it until you can get the fuck out. After you're out, you've got the rest of your life to have fun!
• 

  Ghosthunter

  UR - Welcome to the board!

  I wholeheartedly agree with Sassy. Do NOT get baptized. It will be much, much easier for you if you don't. Don't make the mistake that I did, getting baptized to make others happy. If you don't get baptized, then your parents will still be able to talk to you without the guilt.

  GH
• 

  blondie

  Let me add a another vote to, DO NOT GET BAPTIZED, no matter what pressure your parents put on you. Let them know that you want to wait until you are 18. That way you aren't saying no, but you aren't saying yes.

  Take the good advice here to do well in school so you can go onto to college or further your education. Get in touch with the guidance counselors in your school and see what there is for you. Stay out of romantic and/or physical entanglements, so you aren't tied down to a family at 18 or 19. Stay healthy and away from illegal entanglements.

  Keep busy and time will go faster. Have you ever tried a radio that looks like a pen?

  Blondie (a JW teenager who whethered sexual/verbal/emotional abuse)

  Hang on!
• 

  xLaurax

  hey rabbbit!!!

  Aww... sounds like your having a hard time with your parents and the congregation. Well i don't really know what it's like for you to be forved to go to the meetings and all of that but i do know what it is like not wanting to be that way that your parents or in my case 'parent' want you to be. In a way i have been lucky that my father has never been a Jw so i can get out of alot of things in that respect.

  I hate the way in which the congregation always pay such close attentions to relationships that are going on. In my opinion a person should be able to choose who they want to be with and not have to be chaperoned. Least i can relate to you in age if not much else but i sorta do understand what you are feeling. Recently i have stopped going to the meeting and last time i actually missed the assembly. This year i told my mum that i didn't want to go to the memorial and she got really upset. She knows that i don't really believe what they teach but i go out of respect for her and my nan. It sounds stupid but that's what i do.

  As for advice i don't really know what to say to you. I am the same age as you but my situation is less serious. I really do feel sorry for what you are having to go through. Try and keep your head up hun, im sure it'll get better.

  xLaurax
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  Mulan

  Your post made me remember how we treated our kids.

  My parents believe that if I don't feel like going to the meetings, then I shouldn't have the privelage of having friends over, leaving the house (except for school and work), and some other such "privelages".

  We weren't real strict about it, but the threats were there. It makes me shudder now, to think about how unfair we were to expect them to believe what we believed, simply because we believed it to be true.

  I second Blondie's advice. Talk to a counselor at school. That is what our second son did, to our horror. You do have rights that maybe even your parents don't know about. Our son was 17 and wanted out of the JW's as badly as you do. The counselor helped him find another place to live (with my disfellowshipped brother) until he was 18 and there wasn't a thing we could do about it. We called the police and they said they could pick him up and bring him home, but he would probably go right out the back door. My brother was doing nothing wrong, and was simply considered a loving uncle trying to help a troubled teen. They recommended we let him go, because he could end up living on the streets and we should be glad he had someone who cared for him.

  Do you have grandparents, aunts, uncles, anyone who is not a JW? One of them might be willing to help you.

  By the way that son is now 38, not a JW, married, three children, successful and we have a very close relationship, as we do with all our children. It all worked out well.
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  run dont walk

  Has anyone else gone through this?

  YOU ARE NOT ALONE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  we have ALL gone through it, hang in there !!!!!!!!!!!!!