GOVERNMENT ANNOUNCEMENT:
Today the government announced that it is
changing its emblem from an eagle
to a condom, to more accurately reflect the
government's political stance:
A condom stands up to inflation, halts
production, destroys the next
generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives
you a sense of
security while you're actually being screwed.
It just doesn't get more accurate than that
> A major research institution has recently
announced the discovery
of
> the heaviest chemical element yet known to
science. The new
element
> has been tentatively named "Governmentium."
Governmentium has one
> neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy
neutrons, and 11
assistant
> deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of
312.
>
> These 312 particles are held together by forces
called morons,
which
> are surrounded by vast quantities of
lepton-like particles called
> peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it
is inert.
>
> However, it can be detected as it impedes every
reaction with
which
> it comes into contact. A minute amount of
Governmentium causes one
> reaction to take over four days to complete
when it would normally
> take less than a second.
>
> GOVERNMENTIUM has a normal half-life of four
years; it does not
> decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization
in which a portion
of
> the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons
exchange places. In
fact,
> Governmentium's mass will actually increase
over time, since each
> reorganization will cause more morons to become
neutrons, forming
> isodopes. This characteristic of
moron-promotion leads some
> scientists to speculate that Governmentium is
formed whenever
morons
> reach a certain quantity in concentration. This
hypothetical
> quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass."
>
> You will know it when you see it.
>
> When catalyzed with money, Governmentium
becomes Administratium -
an
> element which radiates just as much energy
since it has half as
many
> peons but twice as many morons.
>
> Randy J. Reimer, TMCM (SW), USN, RET
> On historic Route 66 in Missouri
If These Don't Describe Our Government, I Don't Know What Does... ;P
by Frannie Banannie 11 Replies latest social humour
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Frannie Banannie
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Frannie Banannie
LOL! Great smiley, MAF! Where'd ya git dat?
Frannie B
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myauntfanny
It's called Smiley Central. All you have to do is google smiley central and it takes you from there. It gives you your own little smiley toolbar and has some pretty wicked stuff (also some pretty feeble stuff). This is one of my favourites but I never use it because I'm afraid someone will take offense.
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Frannie Banannie
LOL! Looks like that smiley-swat would offer a great analogy for why rednecks keep flyswatters close at hand, especially when JWs are in their neighborhood, eh?
Frannie B
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Simon
LOL, very good.
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myauntfanny
Frannie, yeah, I keep thinking something like that. I also like this one for the JWs.
They have to be deployed properly though or they just get tiresome. The smileys, I mean, not the clubs. -
ohiocowboy
Anyone hungry???
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Frannie Banannie
They have to be deployed properly though or they just get tiresome. The smileys, I mean, not the clubs.
LOL, MAF! I thought for sure you were referring to the jdubs...heheh
Frannie B
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Frannie Banannie
ROFL, OC! This reminds me of a true story....I was workin' for the Pr. Geo. Co. Police in Hyattsville.....One day, I was standing in the Sgt's office doorway with my back to the hall.....talking to the Sgt......I saw his eyes flicker to a point beyond my shoulder, so I turned to see who was behind me....the uniformed Lt. in charge of the Hyattsville station had just come up behind me and was going to tap me on the shoulder.....I turned before he could complete the act, and his tapping finger went up my nose.....I burst out laughing and told him, "Lt....you can pick your nose and you can pick your friends.....but you can't pick your friends' nose..."
Frannie B
