An apology to you all... (page 2)

Feisoul

Welcome to the board Feisoul!

Thank you very much Cerise, I'm glad to be on the board !

galaxy7

You are now unassimilated ,nice to meet you

minimus

....see what "minimus threads" can do......

boa

(((((((CeriseRose)))))))) take care...your thoughts are beautiful and finds a place in my own feelings.....

boa

(minimus, yer too much!)

Rabbit

Cerise Rose:

I'm not beating myself up about it; I don't really run on regrets. That's who I was, I've 'seen the error of my ways' and now want to set the record straight.

I know how you feel, too. All of us do. Many of us are on the 'receiving end' of what we once 'dished out in brotherly love' .

Guilt... yes/no, I dunno ?

We were brain-washed into believing we were doing a 'good thing'... in Human History that is old news -- unfortunately.

We are Humans.

I've actually been making a list of people I think I unfairly judged, using the WT as my basis for what was right and wrong. I will try to find and talk to and if possible go see them. I will explain as best I can my actions and ask forgiveness from them.

I am not beating myself up by doing this, rather, I am doing this as a warning about the WT and disassociate myself, too. Hopefully, they will tell two friends and they will tell two friends...lol sorta

Snapdragon

Cerise, this was very thoughtful. I completely understand your motivation. I used to sit at meetings and think the same thing. You put my own thoughts down beautifully.

Feisoul, welcome. You're currently living in my favorite place in the whole world. I visited Bern and Interloken 3 years ago. I never wanted to leave. You're amoungst many friends here.

~Snapdragon

exjdub

But I fully judged and branded those who left the organization, going along with the 'company line,' without thinking about the people behind it or their possible reasons for why they'd leave.

CeriseRose,

I have felt great regret, sorrow, and self loathing, over "going along with the company line". I would get distressed over the weddings that I did not attend of my nephews, and other relatives that had left the org, as well as cutting away nieces that had gotten pregnant out of wedlock etc., because I was an MS and had to toe the line so that I would be an "example" in the Cong.

What was very cathartic for me was to re-attach with my nephews and nieces. I spent time with every one of them and apologized for my rude behaviour. I told them all that I love them and that I would never again allow something to come between us. I did not blame the Org, because I felt that I did ultimately make a choice, even though the brainwashing and pressure to conform was ever present. What a gift I received from them! Every one of them expressed that it was the Org that was twisted and that, although they regretted the lost time with me, they understood the position that I was in at the time. I could not take away all of the hurt, but it sure helped me and them.

I realize that not every situation allows the opportunity to apologize for past behaviour and mistakes, but if the opportunity is there, take it. It is amazing how comforting it can be. It helps with the inner distress and dialogue that occurs.

One more note: Ever notice that you never hear dubbies express regret, or distress, over the way they treat people? They are always running roughshod over everyone as if it is a divine right. Yet most on this board express deep emotion and heartfelt regret over the way they have acted in the past. Is it the people that have a good heart that leave the Org...or is it the other way around, that they rekindle the heart after they leave?

exjdub

Cicatrix

{{{{{Cerise Rose}}}}

Thanks for sharing your heartfelt feelings. I think most of us come to this realization after we leave. I learned that for me, it was not only due to being a JW, it was also a part of my family upbringing. That was quite a shock to realize that, but I'm glad I really understand now, because I can change things. I want to change things.

Isn't it great to be FREE!!

An apology to you all...

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