I can?t believe it?s going to be 30 years. June 1974 was the year I really dedicated myself to Jehovah. I say ?really? because, although I had been baptized two years before, it was this moment in time that I really saw the love and power of Jehovah?s organization. And what a time to be in the Truth. So many new ones. I can see now that we were just a bunch of lost baby-boomers. But then, I was young and disillusioned with the whole anti-establishment thing. Just another trick of Satan for a wandering generation.
I can still picture the look on my parent?s faces when I came by for a visit. That was right after my first convention. My hair was different, my clothes, and my attitude. ?Look Mom! I?ve got a new personality!? She didn?t take that line too well. I couldn?t understand why Dad didn?t like the fact I looked more conservative then him for once. It hurt to think my own parents were as blind as the rest of the world.
That all happened in June 1974. There was electricity in every convention part and everyone was on the edge of their ?spiritual? seats. Service that weekend in the city felt like the front lines. The world was heaving with strife. Nixon was going down. Riots in the streets of America. It had to be the end. I knew Jehovah would keep me safe. I met my mate that weekend, a real spiritual person from a family that went way back in the Truth. I remember listening to my in-laws about the ?Millions Now Living Will Never Die? talk. It was amazing to listen to their experiences. I was thinking I didn?t care if I would die from persecution or not. But I would never see old age. What a blessing to be alive in the final days!
Things got a little crazy the next year. All the fruitcakes that sold their homes for ?75 got angry at the organization that saved them and left the Truth for the world?s lies. I don?t remember too much about that drama. I put my head to the grindstone with pioneering and pioneer school. I was so proud to study that little blue Truth book with others, the same one I had learned with. Although it was disappointing to have to continue to wait, I learned that I had to wait on Jehovah ? not my selfish impatience. Funny thing, everyone got pregnant that year. Surprise! That was the year we had our first child too. It broke my heart to drop off the pioneer ranks. But what a blessing when Jehovah provides a child. Or two?
The next 15 years were a blur. We always stayed active in the organization and I was proud to survive the sifting work. I?m so happy the apostates don?t picket the conventions anymore. I remember once when an apostate rushed the stage. I felt violated, like Satan had come into the convention center. I just kept repeating Jehovah?s name. I was angry but confident in my God. That?s why it was such a blessing to have the Proclaimers book. The Society was so honest and open about all the things the apostates twist into hateful lies. The signs of the end are always around.
Anyone who is a parent will tell you that they sacrifice their life for their children. I never got much result in the ministry, but consoled myself that I was raising my kids in the truth. We never knew when the end would come. Would our babies be strong enough to resist Satan?s last-ditch effort? I tried not to take it personally when our oldest started to fade. He was baptized at 13. I cried when I saw our little baby on stage during the assembly. 17 years old and a regular pioneer. I was so proud. There was such potential in our Witness youth and so many of them. I didn?t see the warning signs, the double-life. I thought our training would be enough. Two pioneers caught in Satan?s snare of immorality. What a blow to the congregation. The other pioneer?s father was an elder and had to step down. It?s hard for me to remember the emotions I felt. I still feel a bit like old leather ruined by too many tears: hardened, curled, stiff. Still Jehovah has always shown the way out. I miss my baby. Sometimes I say a secret prayer to myself during the concluding prayer at the meeting. I know Jehovah understands.
My youngest never got baptized and drifted away after moving out of the house. I still witness to her whenever I get the chance. She came by with her boyfriend to help us move. That sort of bothered my conscience. I hear about my son through our daughter. He is so blind. It makes me SO ANGRY that Satan would do this.
So it has been 30 years. It is just the two of us now and we never miss a meeting if we can help it. There are a lot of couples like us in the Hall. We keep close, joke about retirement and old age. I hope the end comes soon. It?s selfish, I know. Even so, I have been contributing to a retirement account for 5 years now. There are still so many coming into the Truth. I count on Jehovah everyday to tell me what I need. If I had decided for myself back in the ?70s, who knows how I would have ruined my life?
I no longer care if I am going to die of old age in the system. It was actually a relief when we got the adjustment about the ?generation.? It seems the organization has become so refined lately. I am just so happy to be a sheep and have a loving shepherd. I am horrified to think that the cruel confused world out there has my babies. But when it starts to hurt, I remember June 1974. Thank you Jehovah.
The proceeding essay is a compilation of statements and stories I have heard from Jehovah's Witnesses over the last 2 years. Thoughts from the inside of the bubble.