Are You Contaminated?

Sentinel

I've been giving lots of thought to this life we have right now. The choices we make. The people that affect us and those that we touch in some way.

Many "here" seem to be kind of stuck. They realized that the path they were on (the borg) was not giving them what they needed. They got out, either walking away, or doing something to get df'd for. Then once they were out, they were "shocked" at the seemingly cold reality of life. There were feelings of being "awake", yet not knowing what to do. It was scary.

If we are going along, unaware of something, then things are okay. Once we realize something is wrong, and we become very much aware, everything changes. An emptiness overtakes us that is difficult to fill, because we just don't know what to fill it with. The reactive mind has always just done the "expected". Now the new mind needs to be trained to rely on personal reality. To be fully alive and aware is big and raw and there is no protection. It's no place for wimps. There's no place to hide. So we either fall back into a mental sleep, or we forge ahead on a path of self discovery. Our whole lives we have bought into what others have said. We fit into that box, but this is second hand knowledge, and that's why we feel so incomplete.

Once we free ourselves to learn and to listen, we will have a much deeper level of experiencing the real truth. Facing the illusion is painful and so many stay stuck, afraid to move. What a sad place to find oneself. There is hope for our situtiation and it's called "love". Without love in your heart, which in turn begets patience and tolereance, we can find ourselves unable to handle these new emotions. We either get "holier than thou", become introverted and pull away; or we cultivate this love and let it flow naturally through every area of our life. While going through our metomorphesis, we "contaminate others", either in a positive way or in a negative way.

This forum gives us a platform to show love. I see it here all the time as I read the threads and posts. We each have the means to give love and to accept love, and that is a very beautiful thing.

/<

Odrade

I agree. It's so easy to get stuck. There is pain on so many different levels when leaving the WT. Counselling can help, but sometimes just having people who can say "I hear you and understand what you are saying" is the greatest help.

"Love leads life on..."

O

joannadandy

Fleur

such good points. i felt stuck for a long time, and i had to get away from the forums completely to finish dealing with the internal business that i had been avoiding.

true, it was a bad experience running into some jw's one day when i was out that sent me back here after almost a year's hiatus. but i am so different now. when i re-read some of the things i used to write and post here, they seem as if they were written by a different person.

i have grown, and grown-up so much since the first time i visited an exjw forum four+ years ago. and i have a lot of people to thank for that. most of all i should thank the ones who were hard on me, who pushed me to really see myself. even if i still hold different opinions from them now, they gave me a crash course in Human Nature 101 that i couldn't have gotten any other way.

so i am thankful, and i hope that i can offer some encouragement to others now that i'm not stuck anymore.

hugs,

fleur

(exjw/ex-christian agnostic-heading-toward-athiesm and loving life!)

Sassy

you are so right Special K. That is a good reminder to put a positive spin on things... I like the point about showing love, since most of us found such a lack of love as JWs.. and once outside if we are able to show love to others, especially for those who have left and are void in feeling it, I think we can help each other grow.

avengers

Agreed!

to my .

In this world where there are so many predators and those being preyed upon, it's an
oasis to read a post like this.
I needed that.

Thanks so much.

Andy.

Sentinel

Thanks for your comments. I feel an "exchange of love" taking place here already!.

So many times our lives are complicated by our own "self-confusion". We find that we have become attached to so many things "not of our choosing", and then we waste lots of time in "miss-directed action". We were all like that as JW's, weren't we? We continued to go out into service to try to convert others, not so much to give them the "truth", but to reiterate for ourselves that we had "the truth". When we were trying to convert people, we were contaminating them.

To be open to truth is difficult to a JW, because they have been conditioned to only one "truth"--"their truth" as rigidly taught to them by the borg. This is such an unfair control of our lives, and that is why so many of us found ourselves out of balance. This is not the way that our creators meant us to live our lives.

The truth is not any one teaching, but it is our own understanding about our perception of reality. That's different for everyone. To be able to live our lives in a deep spiritual connection to our creators does not mean we are on the roll of any religious order. It is not found in a certain place or building. It requires only LOVE. Those that follow their "truth" as connected through love, are able to be at peace with themselves and others.

/<

Maverick

Good thoughts. I see why you fell from the WTS favor. You think too deeply and feel too intensely. Drink up life and spread your love.

I wish you peace. Maverick

Sentinel

(((Thanks Maverick))) You are so right about me. The way the society deals with people, especially "their own" is, for the most part, so contrived. It is still all about the rules of the society, and those rules became more important than love. So, then if there isn't real love, how can even the most "bible based" group have truth? They can't. Although there are many that are still conflicted because of this, they stay in because of all the fear and guilt. If only they could see past all of this; their lives would be so very different.

I wasn't mousy when I left for sure. I sent a letter to the congregation and asked that it be posted. Of course it wasn't. I wanted my friends to know the real reason why I had chosen this new path. I sent a letter to the WT headquarters asking to be removed from their roll. I never got a response. Everyone became afraid of me, and I immediately lost the "love" of my mother. My sibblings had already become estranged through years of being "in" and "out", etc. I was in a dark pit for a long time--and still, I knew that out of the darkness, the light would eventually shine. It has for me. It was a heart-wrenching journey, but if I had not gone through my experiences, even as a faithful JW, I would not be where I am right now.

My hope would be that we would all look in the mirror and learn about the reflection that presents itself and to face the person we truly are-- to acknowledge where we've been, and where we'd like to be--where we want to go. That's when the journey begins. And, it never really ends....

/<

Spooner

I see why you fell from the WTS favor. You think too deeply and feel too intensely.

too bad they consider that a bad thing, if a religion was true, it wouldn't have anything to hide, congrats on getting out

Are You Contaminated?

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