JW's and Funerals..... your thoughts please, including current JW's

by bull01lay 20 Replies latest jw friends

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  bull01lay

  A morbid topic I know, but one that has played on my mind since I was DF'd.

  My Mum is still a very devout witness. If anything happened to her, what would the witness position be on my attending the Funeral ?

  I know she would (quite rightly)expect a service at the Kingdom Hall. Would my insistence on being present at a service mean that it would not be allowed (this has happened in the past in my old congregation), and would I still be treated as an outcast, even though I would be greiving more than they ?
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  PeaNUT

  If they didn't allow you it would be total BS. When I was 15, my eldest brother was stabbed 32 times. Because of the blood issue, he came very close to death. The elders "suspended" the rules at the hospital and acknowledged my presence (how magnanimous!). If I were you, I wouldn't let anyone stand in the way of attending the funeral, but I have a rep as a total beeeyotch (can I say that here?). Stand tall! No one has the right to get in the way of your closure.
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  PeaNUT

  Oops, I meant to also say I was disfellowshipped when during the event described above.
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  TweetieBird

  It's hard to say. I've been to funerals where one of the family members was df'd and nobody acknowledged them and I've been to some where they were. I think it depends on the area you live in.

  I kind of had the opposite experience. When my dad died (he was disassociated at the time) not one person in my congregation (same one referred to in the nepotism post) came up to me and said anything. That deeply hurt me because I was very close to my dad. But it did open my eyes. I kept thinking about how Jesus said that true Christians would be known by their love amongst themselves and I didn't experience any of that. That was definitely the beginning of the end for me.
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  blondie

  DF'd people are allowed to attend meetings at the kingdom hall. A funeral is a public meeting at the kingdom hall In my area, DF'd JWs are allowed to attend funerals of family members or friends, but they are treated the same as they would be at any JW meeting. Sitting with the non-JW family members may create a difficulty if JW members are sitting with them. You might talk to the non-JW family members about that and you might be able to sit with them and the JW family members sit elsewhere.

  So you would be treated as an outcast by "good" JWs just as any meeting at the KH but

  Non-JW family members and friends can talk to you and sit with you.

  If the elders try to prevent your respectful attendance, they are going beyond the official WTS policy. Not that elders do that, hahaha.

  Blondie
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  Doubtfully Yours

  Funerals among JW are nothing more than a sales pitch for a future paradise earth.

  Hardly anything is mentioned about the person that died. It's awful really!

  DY
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  Undaunted Danny

  About grieving the dearly departed JW style: 1 Thessalonians 4:13 nt : The Lord's Coming 13My friends, we want you to understand how it will be for those followers who have already died. Then you won't grieve over them and be like people who don't have any hope. ( CEV ){{Then you won't grieve over them.}} The Watchtower's counsel on the grieving process for obedient Jehovah's Witnesses:."we don't grieve like worldings who have no hope''.[How this relates to the concept of buying small tubes of toothpaste]..That's right! I heard this'experience' given at a circuit assembly.The district overseer related the case of the faithful brother who," kept the day of the lord in mind" by only buying small tubes of toothpaste.This way he was always psyched up for the imminent rapture.( he died of old age). About grieving the dearly departed JW style.I know of family's who have never come to terms with their losses because they expect their loved ones to come back in the resurrection any day. That day of horrendous sudden impact to accept that it's all a lie is a ticking time bomb waiting to go off. signed, Dan the man [I will hunker in the bunker with you,just make sure my bunker is stashed with miller lite beer.]
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  galaxy7

  when my dad died they hardly mentioned him.they spent the whole time witnessing. I thought his life was worth more than just mentioning his name. I think the funerals are like the religion cold and completely void of love.

  they still wouldnt talk to you if you are disfellowshiped.
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  Stefanie

  Hardly anything is mentioned about the person that died. It's awful really!

  Couldnt agree more! Its turns into a freakin Public Discourse..And what you need to do spiritually. I had never heard of anyone taking Bibles and song books to funerals before i bacame a JW.
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  waiting

  I live in SC - and the funeral talks are nothing more than JW sales pitches to "new interested, albeit grieving, persons who are visiting the KH."

  Even if it's in a funeral home.........the talk is canned, standard JW funeral talk.

  In our area - you would be completely shunned by all JW's. They would not acknowledge your existance.

  Perhaps going to the funeral home to visit - a chance to really chat with non-jw family, or those jw's who will speak with you..........as long as no one sees them doing it.

  waiting