When I was growing up my mother wouldn't let me speak anything except Standard English. It was a crusade with her. When I was less than four years old she taught me to repeat things like "Do you enunciate and articulate correctly?" Try saying that aloud, perfectly, right now. She didn't let me say things like "how 'bout a kiss?" (a popular expression when she was a teen) although she might say it herself. I had to say "Would you like to participate in an osculatory display?" Imagine a little kid coming out with an expression like that! I never used slang. I seldom used contractions. I was not allowed to associate with other children of my age and cultural background. I honestly didn't know that my background was the same as theirs. I grew up viewing people of "my own" as "different". BTW, this was all pre-JW days. No one in my family has ever been a JW, that came later and involved only me!
When I finished high school it was easy to find a job. I talked the talk! Again, I had no idea that I was different. I moved from childhood into adulthood never perceiving that other people had, as part of their personal repertoire, something "more".
I married "out of my class". That's when I started to notice that something was going on. Since I didn't know that there were other ways to "be" I married a person from another cultural/ethnic group thinking that we were "just the same". Of course in some senses we were, but I didn't comprehend that just because we were both raised to speak Standard English that there were other phenomena lurking in the background. One of us was "dirt poor", one of us was "rich". One was one "color", one was another. One set of relatives was prejudiced, so was the other but with a different set of prejudices! When his mother refused to let me ride in her car I knew I was up against something I had only heard about in the past. I blame quite a number of his problems as well as the eventual demise of our marriage on a failure to recognize valid cultural differences as well as an abysmal lack of human respect.
I lived solely in a world of Standard English speakers. Becoming involved with JW's was another adventure into a world of Standard English. Again, I thought it was the only way to speak, so the "friendship" offered seemed wonderful to me. I did not perceive that they were using the word "friend" in a marginal way. I had no way to apprehend that the Witness definition of "friendship" was different than mine. I knew only one way to live and to speak.
Standard English is designed to conduct business. It's a trade language. No one, and I repeat, no one comes from a culture where Standard English is the native tongue. Standard English designed for use by people who are assuming a role in a transaction. When the transaction is complete they exit that role. When they act in their personal lives they are free to choose either Standard English or some dialect, theirs or another they have learned along their way. To use anything other than Standard English in corporate professional life is counterproductive. To use a dialect may win a sale or influence a deal but it is used therein as a tool and not as true communication.
Over the years I have learned a lot about language. I?ve learned about dialects as well. I?ve learned that going back and attempting to integrate into one?s birth "culture" does not produce the same result as growing up within that group. There is no communal experience, thus I have no "roots".
I wish that I had known long ago that Standard English is part of an educational process. To be educated does not mean giving up who you are or where you come from. Education is meant to enhance, not to replace. In addition to providing instruction in Standard English perhaps it is also necessary to define its role. Presuming that this is universally understood can be the source of much miscommunication.
Nina
