Another peek at my EMAIL: more shunning "tearing families apart"

Quotes

I feel like I have come full circle on this issue. Now, I am the one giving the advice instead of requesting it! ;)

http://quotes.watchtower.ca.

From: "enzo c[deleted]"

Hello,

I do not kow if I am communicating with the right people but I seriously need help with a situation confronting my family. If I am not communicating with the right people, please advise as to who can help me.

This is the situation:

In my family I have a total of 5 aunts and uncles. 2 of which are Jehovah's witness while the other three are Catholics. One of my cousin's who has been disassociated/disfellowshipped from the Jehovah's Witness about 5 years ago has not repented nor is willing to. Therefore according to our beliefs we have shunned him and do not communicate with him in order for him to relaize that he is not abiding by Jehovah's Laws and that he may repent and follow the right path to rightousness.

Here is the problem:

My other cousin who is a Catholic is getting married. Although we are Jehovah's and they are Catholic we deeply respect one another and are a very tight family. The Jehovah's believe that we cannot attend this wedding because the disassociated member will be attending as well. We cannot be celebrating together with someone who has been disassociated from the religion. Although we will be seated among 500 peolple at a reception hall and the distance between the disassociated cousin and the rest of the Jehovah's can be arranged to be seated as far as possible from one another, according to our beliefs we cannot eat together at the same place.

Are we as Jehovah's correct in assuming that we cannot attend this wedding even though we will be seated far from this cousin and have absolutley no association, no communication.....NOTHING, but being in the sane reception hall with one another.

It is tearing our family apart between the Jehovah's and the Catholics. Are we right in living up to God's high standards by shunning the Catholic family as well with our beliefs and not attending the wedding if this other cousin will be there as well? Is this what Jehovah really wants?

Please help in clarifying this situation. Your help is greatly appreciated!!!!!!

Enzo

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Dear enzo c[deleted]

Thank you for writing to us. It appears that you did not first read the F.A.Q. page at our website (http://quotes.watchtower.ca/admin-faq.htm), and we encourage you to do this.

Although normally we would not provide advice via email, in this case we would like to make an exception, as your plea seems quite desperate.

There is no clear biblical injunction preventing Witnesses from attending the wedding you describe. Although some may conscientiously choose to stay away, that is their personal decision. Remember Jesus Christ associated with Tax Collectors and prostitutes (the lowest of the low in society at that time), which indicates that under certain conditions, even reprehensible members of society can be in one's company.

Furthermore, it is not necessary to create a large physical distance between yourself and the disassociated cousin; that is not a requirement commanded in the scriptures. Indeed, this could be an opportunity to remind the fallen sheep of the truths he/she has left behind, and friendly words of encouragement would be appropriate. It may be that some particular issue greatly concerns your cousin, and this may be the only opportunity to assist them in a safe, neutral, non-threatening environment (safe for your spirituality and non-threatening to your cousin).

Your Uncle's conscience may move them to choose a different path, and that is their prerogative. However, the scriptures are not black and white on this issue. Ultimately they are responsible for their understanding of the scriptures, and you are responsible for yours. If your conscience permits you to attend the wedding, they should not judge you, neither should you judge them if they choose not to attend. Remember, only our Heavenly Father can judge the heart.

Sincerely and with loving concern,

Quotes
http://Quotes.Watchtower.ca
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What do you think of my reply? As Farkel would say, "It's all Bible Based(tm)"

Quotes

Nobody wants to comment on my sneakiness? :(

Valis

eh Quotes, it is awful to get stuff like that. Just figure how many people are out there who don't reach out....OH and I think we were just waiting for you to get your post in order..

Sincerely,

District Overbeer

El Kabong

Although we are Jehovah's and they are Catholic

Are we as Jehovah's correct in assuming that we cannot attend this wedding

It is tearing our family apart between the Jehovah's and the Catholics.

Something I noticed. I've never heard any active JW's refer to themselves as "Jehovah's". Usually, that's a derogatory comment the so called worldly people call the JW's, especially when they come to the door. "It's the Jehovah's again". I just find it strange that this person refers to himself as "Jehovah's"

Elsewhere

Something I noticed. I've never heard any active JW's refer to themselves as "Jehovah's". Usually, that's a derogatory comment the so called worldly people call the JW's, especially when they come to the door. "It's the Jehovah's again". I just find it strange that this person refers to himself as "Jehovah's"

Yeah, I noticed the same thing. I wonder if this guy is pulling your leg.

outoftheorg

Hi Quotes.

Your letter writer didn't know if he was writing to the right source. I don't think he could have found a better one, do you?

The whole thing is very sad and sort of humorous at the same time.

This may be the beginning or a whole "new world" for you. Counseling confused jw's.

I like your site, I know it takes a lot of work and your time to do this.

It is appreciated. I also noticed the use of "jehovahs" when referring to himself and others. A bit strange.

Outoftheorg

kls

I agree with all here, some thing does not sound right. Jehovah's is what i hear from my kids friends who know nothing of this cult.

Double Edge

I found your response very articulate and concise.... great letter (and yes, very sneaky....hehe).

Scully

Hey Quotes!

Sorry I missed this earlier. As always, you are mahvelous!!

What I find weird about the author of the e-mail that you received, is his reference to being "Jehovah's" instead of "Jehovah's Witnesses". As far as I know, that is not acceptable jargon in any language among JWs. I have heard English people call themselves "Witnesses" and French people say "Témoins" as an abbreviation, but never "Jehovah's".

I get the impression that the Catholic members of the family would be offended by the outright shunning of an ex-JW family member by JW family members and would be equally offended by the boycotting of the wedding and reception by JW family members. That would be a very bad witness to them, wouldn't it??

I liked how you pointed out that Jesus associated with people who were regarded by religious leaders (Pharisees) as unworthy of association and encouragement. But then again, Jesus was all about the LAW OF LOVE and the Pharisees were puffed up with their own self-importance.

Perhaps if you hear from Enzo again, ask him what he thinks the "most loving" thing would be for him to do overall. The cousin who is getting married will feel loved by their presence instead of their absence. The cousin who is DFd/DAd will feel loved by their presence instead of their absence, and by being treated respectfully and graciously instead of being humiliated and shunned. The family who is hosting the wedding reception will feel loved if they are not forced to choose between the JW relatives and the ex-JW relative. What course of action truly brings more glory to Jehovah?? Disrupting what should be a beautiful and happy celebration of a loved family member? or quietly putting a personal issue with another family member aside out of a sense of reasonableness and a desire to add to the happiness of the event instead of taking away from it? What course of action would be more beneficial to the most people?? Teaching one person a "lesson" by shunning him? or giving a "good witness" to every family member there that JWs love other people the same way that Jehovah does, making the sun rise upon the bad and the good, not just on those who serve him?

Please let us know if you hear from Enzo again. I'm curious to find out what he decides to do.

Love, Scully

Fleur

hmm, perhaps english is not this person's first language hence the 'jehovah's?' i'd like to give them the benefit of the doubt that they are sincere.

sounds to me like they were wanting to get official advice from the society...lucky that they got you instead!!! :)

it's so hard to get mail like that. when i had my old website, it was visited in 2 years by more than 13,000 people and i would have to say that literally 80 percent of them wrote to me with their stories. it was more than i could take after awhile, just too heartbreaking. i couldn't feel comfortable giving advice, some of the situations they asked about were so over my head and needed professional advice. i'd recommend that and in addition i would send them here or to freeminds, tell them to read and then make up their own minds and listen to their hearts.

it was kind of you to reply to him, i hope it helps him. sounds like another family nightmare courtesy of the Borg :(

fleur

Another peek at my EMAIL: more shunning "tearing families apart"

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