I am finally ready to deal with my father... (page 2)

Aztec

Shutterbug, I've seen Quotes' site. Thanks for the reply! You're right about the constant persuasion that 'the end is near' crap. I lived most of my life under that cloud.

Seeitall, thank you for the links! That is what I was looking for. I'm really bad at seaching for things. I don't know why but I am.

Ohiocowboy, when I realized that I was raised in a cult it blew me away. I want to break the news to my father gently. He won't buy it no matter what I say but I'd really like to make a clear case as to where I stand. I would like to have a relationship with him afterwards. Thank you for the link!

Jehovah has already lost the challange laid down by Satan, he had to cheat by mixing the languages to put himself in a position to win, and so is like a firefighter who commits arson so that he can run in and put the fire out and be veiwed as a hero.......

Thanks Gadget! I didn't think of it that way before. I tend to look at the bible as myth more and more and one of the things I need is more proof from inside the bible that it contradicts itself.

Most people with any sense of reality will respect a request like this. And the beauty of this approach is that you won't be arguing with your father about something he believes strongly about. It's all about setting boundries. Do it this way, and you'll have success. Do it by arguing with him and you'll only wind up alienating him and creating hard feelings. Trust me on this one. I've been through this learning curve with my own mother.

My father would not respect it. Unfortunatly my father and I both believe strongly about alot of things and they seem to be diametrically opposed to eachother. I have set boundaries and he refuses to comply with them which is why he and I are going to have to settle this now. I'm 30 years old. If I can't stand up to him now; when? Thanks though Steve!

He has freedom of religion. So do you. You have the right to be free from religion too, if you choose, without constant harassment. You have the right to make this decision for your minor children as well. If a JW knocked on my door day after day harassing me in spite of my repeatedly saying "I'm not interested" I would eventually knock him down on his ass.

Walter, are you offering to knock my dad on his butt? LOL!

If he has any respect for you as a human being then he should respect your right to decide for yourself what you will or will not believe.

I don't think he has any respect for any of his children. At all. That is why I need all the articles and proof I can get. He won't believe something just because it comes from my mouth. I need cold, hard facts.

~Aztec

exjdub

Aztec,

I thought what Steve Lowry said was excellent:

what you really want to do is modify his behavior. Practically anyone's behavior can be modified.

Your father is really overstepping his boundaries (most JW's do, especially when the Society tells them it is their "responsibility to "save" their grandchildren's lives). If your father does not respect your boundaries, especially if he repeatedly oversteps them after you have gently reminded him, then you need to make it clear that he will not see his grandchildren until it stops. At the very least, not without you being present. This may sound drastic or cruel, but you won't have to do this for long. He will come around. By allowing your father to overstep his boundaries without repercussions, it negates your authority as a parent. Is that the message that you want to send to your children? You are ultimately responsible for your children. If you do not want them in a mind screwing cult, then you need to be proactive.

If you really don't want to destroy your father's faith, but just want to have him stop "witnessing" to you and your children, than don't undermine his faith with proof that his faith is false. Setting the boundaries accomplishes the goal of having him keep his faith AND his boundaries. My 2 cents.

exjdub

drwtsn32

Good luck Az! I was going to post the "Cult warning signs" from the Rick Ross site but someone beat me to it!

iiz2cool

I need cold, hard facts.

You have the facts. It's called the constitution. You are guaranteed the same rights and freedoms that he has. He doesn't have to like it, but he has no choice but to accept it. If you're not interested in it, you're not interested. Period! You're not required to explain your reasons to him.

I would simply refuse to discuss anything watchtower related. And I would let him know that his persistence could only serve to strengthen my resolve to stay away from the cult.

Walter

Sunnygal41

Maybe someone already suggested this? Carl Jonsson's book The Sign of the Last Days, When?

It has all kinds of statistics, just exhaustive data! I loved it, and thought that it would satisfy most science/anal retentive types deeply.

Terri

Nosferatu

I have to agree with Steve Lowry. Sorry Aztec, but I can't remember if you were ever baptized. If you were, you might want to tread lightly with this, since your father may end up shunning you.

Personally, I think getting into a religious arguement isn't the way to deal with this. If you don't want your child being taught JW stuff, simply tell him. If he gets stubborn and says something like "Well, I don't want my grandchild to die at armageddon", then threaten him with no visitation. It's your decision of what goes into your child's mind as far as religion goes.

It's you who's going to have this religious debate with your father, not your child. He'll end up refusing to talk to you about religious subjects, but when you're not around, he'll talk to your child about it. Make it very clear that you don't want him "witnessing" to your child (with possible consequences to face), and he should back off. If he doesn't, follow through with your threat.

shotgun

Azzie..do you think he would read Releasing the Bonds by Steven Hassan?

If he truly believes JW's are not a cult he should not fear reading a non-religous book which talks about various cults?

Just a thought!

Uzzah

Aztec:

I think the comments of Steve and Walter are excellent. Under other circumstances, blasting your dad away with doctrinal info and cult-bashing authorities could well be advocated.

However, your parents have bailed you out over this past year and assumed many of your responsibilities.

I would almost think that an occasional preaching session has been earned by them for what they have done for you and your son. Also keep in mind your son is watching. How you treat your parents and the respect you show to them is often how you will be treated by your son when he becomes your age.

If it bothers you so much that you cannot simply 'let them have their moment,' then I would tread lightly as far as doctrine and simply follow the advice given by Walter and Steve.

My 2 cents

Uzzah

exjdub

However, your parents have bailed you out over this past year and assumed many of your responsibilities.
I would almost think that an occasional preaching session has been earned by them for what they have done for you and your son.

Thank you Uzzah...That's what I get for commenting without all of the facts. That would certainly alter what I said some, and I agree with you...an occasional preaching session would be a fair trade off perhaps. Thank you for the clarification. Now if you will excuse me, I am going to try and remove my foot from my mouth

exjdub

iiz2cool

Also keep in mind your son is watching. How you treat your parents and the respect you show to them is often how you will be treated by your son when he becomes your age.

Thanks for bringing that out.

Walter

I am finally ready to deal with my father...

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