HOW TO KEEP AWAKE DURING THE ASSEMBLY!!!

by Mary 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • CaptainSchmideo
    CaptainSchmideo
    Why Bother? One assembly at good old Twickers (for those in the know or Where? for those not) they braodcast it over FM. Now, my wife had blown a fuse what with all the 'Happiest people' all jostling about and pushing and shoving, laying great swaythes of 'saved by the bible seats' so's they could fit their family in one row and so I said well lets listen in the car (good dub that i was). So, we scuttled back and slunk into the car expecting the Ass police to move us back to the stadium, when to our surprise there were dozens of Bro's in the car park stretched out on rugs, if you please, sunning themselves with their wind-up radio's tuned in - every half hour cranking them up for the next half hours 'food'. Some had brought tables and chairs and parasols like it was a barby and kids were playing footy. Great. We never went to the stadium again but parked up, put the seats back and nodded off - till the ice-cream man came round. Last time we went actually before the fade. To think all those years of a numb bum when I could have been comfortably esconced in my car.

    Sounds great, if I didn't live in a part of the world where you could fry an egg on Jaracz's head in the mid-day sun. Unfortunately, within the vicinity of the convention center, the only comfortable place to be (that doesn't have a two drink minimum) is in the convention center.....

  • Scully
    Scully

    I'm surprised nobody mentioned playing Bullshit Bingo for your meeting enjoyment

    Love, Scully

  • Mary
    Mary

    Scully: They can play that during lunch breaks when they lock all the doors to keep everybody in.

  • ohiocowboy
    ohiocowboy

    Those are so funny! Personally, I would substitute the Crunch 'n munch for a bagful of chocolate covered espresso beans, they also have a nice loud crunch, and you can have the added effect of bouncing off the walls and seats!

  • blondie
    blondie
    Scully: They can play that during lunch breaks when they lock all the doors to keep everybody in.

    Do they really do that, Mary?

    I always thought it was definitely a class distinction between the r&f and those who could bring their RVs and park them at the convention and then go out and have lunch there. Of course, the rank and file did not want to bring blankets and eat on the grassy areas giving it a "picnic" atmosphere or set up a table at their vehicle and make it seem like tailgating.

    Blondie

  • Mulan
    Mulan

    Scully, you beat me to it. That is so hilarious.

  • BluesBrother
    BluesBrother

    Nice one Mary, how come I never got to meet sisters like you?

    how about do what I really do on a Sunday when I accompany Sister BluesBrother, caffine tablets , sold in the U K as Pro Plus, 3 of those will keep you awake during the most sonorious speaker, and stop you getting a jab in the ribs.

    uriah - the FM seems to work up to a few miles away so you can find a shady spot near to a toilet and cafe and tune in or turn off at will.

    Captain Schmidea ("I am not a number" he will know the phrase).... Twickenham is an open air stadium. None of your air conditioned luxury for us

  • Yerusalyim
    Yerusalyim

    Hilarious! Glad I never had to suffer through one of these.

  • iiz2cool
    iiz2cool
    6. If there's any small kids sitting in front of you, (99.9% chance of this) start making faces at them till they start laughing. Their mothers will probably give them a smack and drag them to the bathroom for another one, but don't worry, they probably wanted to get up anyway.

    I've done that!

    Walter

  • boa
    boa

    awesome stuff mary....too bad i'm not going this year to try it out!

    btw....don't forget the good ol' binocular trick under the pretense of 'finding the friends' you know, but really they make for finding all the hotties exposing a lil' more skin at inopportune moments during the sessions.

    Plus if for some unknowable reason I HAD to go to one of these, I damn well bring a 40 of Vodka and get completely blasted!

    boa.....

    ps...love all the thongs the sis' are wearing nowadays showing through all those 'modest' dresses lol

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