A fine example of JW honesty & integrety

by 68storm 17 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  68storm

  Hello All,

  I would be interested in how many of you reading this DB, have experienced, or heard of other people having experienced this wonderful trait among God's chosen people.

  41/2 years ago, my JW wife of 25 years, secrectly planned an escape from the marriage, with the help of her spiritual brothers and sisters. We were having some problems at the time. For the previous 6 years we would spend our Xmas vacation in Florida. She wound fly down with our youngest son a couple of weeks before the rest of the family (Three adult boys) and myself, wound drive down.

  On this particular occassion, we got a rude awakening after driving a very exhausting 24 hour staight run. We arrived to find a few notes taped on the wall instead of a wife and mother. You can well imagine everyone's shock, especialy the trauma created to our then 6 year old son.

  Part of their wonderful, humble plan was stonewalled because of the fact that our eldest son, (than 26) decided to stay home. She had planned, with the help of the congegration, to clean out the matrimonial home. Our son, would not let that happen. She managed to talk him into allowing her to take some things and she moved in with another fine sister that happened to be divorced.

  I will not go into a lot of detail here, but it turned out to be a very bitter legal battle. She was determined that she was going to get sole custody of our youngest. I voluntarily allowed her to come into the home and take approximately half the contents. She was never satisfied with this. With the amount of lawer's fees, we could have both furnished 5 homes completely.

  In most of her lawyer's (a jw) correspondance, she included demands for more of the contents. One of the letters stated that if she was not allowed into the home by a certain date, she would come and take everything that was on the list. My lawyer took this as a joke, therefore when that date arrived I did not bother to check things out.

  Imagine the surprise when one of my sons came home to an empty house. He called me at work and asked me what I had done with all of the furniture and appiances. He could not believe that I had not touched it.

  I later found out from our neighbours that they saw a big moving van in our driveway, along with about 15 people from her church. What a wonderful witness that was.

  Since this happened, I have heard from many more that this a very common occurance among "The Friends". I cannot believe that people that make the clain that they are the best people on earth, are capable of such blatand crimes. I can tell you this. The watchtower certainly does their homework. If there happens to be a very small grey area in anything, (wether it be legal or moral does not matter) they will certainly take advantage of it. They learned quite well from the Madman and drunk Rutherford.

  I would be interested in hearing from people that have experienced this type of thing. I would also like to hear from faithful people like Fred Hall, You Know, Yardif and others that participated in this most wonderful activity.

  Best regards,

  68storm
• 

  Roamingfeline

  Hi 68storm,

  This happened to my husband 12 years ago, when he and his first wife split up after 15 years of marriage. They had a nine year old daughter. It's quite a story, but his to tell, so I have sent the url of your post to him.

  How have you handled everything since then? And did she get sole custody of your son?

  RCat
• 

  Sam Beli

  If I can find this thread Monday, I'll post my experience like yours then.

  Sam Beli
• 

  outnfree

  Holy crap!

  I cannot believe what I am reading (yet I do...)!

  I had marital difficulties and was willing to go against the advice of the elders to STAY with my mate to the point of being disciplined in whatever way they decided.

  Wound up a happy ending, and based on my experience I have always disbelieved the "rumors" that the JW religion breaks up marriages between JWs with non-believing mates.

  I have a feeling my eyes are about to be opened. (once again! )

  outnfree
• 

  Enlighted UK

  outnfree: Sorry to do this to you but........

  My (sort of) believing mate was advised that he should leave me. His (very) believing mother discussed this with other (very) believing family members. They decided that as long as being married to me didn't affect him spiritually then they couldn't see a problem with us staying married.

  So kind of them - as if we give a damn what they think anyway!!

  Well my mate hasn't been to a meeting for 4 weeks (has had every opportunity) and has not been out on service (except for 1 hour) since October. He refuses to leave me (I love him!!) or our daughter.

  So, it seems that my marriage has stayed happy and strong BECAUSE of my husband, DESPITE the best efforts of those loving christians at the JW hall.

  Enlighted UK
• 

  AlanF

  Treachery is part and parcel of being a JW. However, there are a lot of unanswered questions in your story.

  When one mate voluntarily moves out of the family home, i.e., without a court order that forces it, the court views that as either abandonment or a voluntary move that the one who moves must take the consequences for. In either case, without further court action the one who moved out has voluntarily given up a claim on much of the property. How did the court handle this in your case?

  In most cases, the lawyers make legal arrangements through the court that while the divorce is pending, the one who moved out has no legal right to enter the family home. If this was not done in your case, why not? If not, then your lawyer screwed up royally. If these arrangements were made, then your wife's taking out all those possessions was a criminal offense, a burglary. She and her JW accomplices can be charged with breaking and entering, and burglary. How did your lawyer handle this?

  Normally, JWs won't get involved in criminal activity, so if these people did, your wife must have convinced them that you were evil incarnate, and that she had the legal right to take the contents of the house. What could she have told them to convince them of these things?

  Why did your wife want to leave? What did the notes say that you found taped to the wall?

  Did your wife get custody of the youngest son? Why or why not?

  The answers to these questions are very relevant to evaluating whether you really got screwed or not.

  AlanF
• 

  68storm

  Hi there Roamingfeline,

  My thoughts go out to your husband. I hope that he relates events that happened in his case. This seems to be an unwritten rule. I have a copy of "Pay attention to the Flock" but I didn't notice any instruction given to the "Sheppards" in this regard. Mind you, I must admit that I couldn't stomach all the fine spiritual food that was contained in the book, so it might be there.

  Now, to answer some of your questions, we are presently getting along quite well as long as I don't dare mention anything to do with the Holy Mother watchtower. It's a shame that we had to give half of our life savings to lawyers instead of dividing it up. I actually made up for all of my ignorance about the watchtower that I had during the marriage. I became engulfed with all the info that was available to me. I was in contact with several well known "Apostates" including names such as: Ray Franz, Robert Reed, Duane Magnani etc.

  She, along with her jw lawyer, and I am sure many other experts in her hall, were adament that she would get sole custody of the child. The end results were quite different for them. I think that the straw that broke the camel's back, was when they decided to hold my examination for discovery (I think you Americans call this a deposition ).

  You see, having all of the info that I had, along with a copy of the society's booklet, "Preparing for child custody cases", was like cheating on a test at school. It was wonderful having answers for her lawyer almost before he asked the questions.

  Without going into great detail here, her lawyer was really anxious to settle all of our differences on that day. He even changed his tune, lying about her wanting sole custody all along, and instead claiming that I was the one that halted the settlement with my demand for custody. I had NEVER asked for sole custody. I had always hoped that my ex would come to her senses and that we would get back together. Now I realize that this would be impossible. I did all of the wrong things at first. I was extremely naive to the watchtower's control of its people. Now I am much better informed. All of her errational moves make sense ( if only cultic sense ).

  A few years ago, I was worried about my child being indoctrinated into the CULT, but I have found an easy way of avoiding that. All one has to do is read just one of the Gospels in the New Testament, and all of the watchtower's nonsense goes out the window. That is the book of John. You really have to wear the watchtower's glasses in order for you to read this account and twist things the way they do. My son, (now 10) has no problem at all with it. Boys will be boys though and every once in a while he shows his mother some of the passages and World War Three begins.

  I think that I have said enough for now. Sorry for rambling on.

  Bet regards,

  68storm
• 

  68storm

  Hi there Roamingfeline,

  My thoughts go out to your husband. I hope that he relates events that happened in his case. This seems to be an unwritten rule. I have a copy of "Pay attention to the Flock" but I didn't notice any instruction given to the "Sheppards" in this regard. Mind you, I must admit that I couldn't stomach all the fine spiritual food that was contained in the book, so it might be there.

  Now, to answer some of your questions, we are presently getting along quite well as long as I don't dare mention anything to do with the Holy Mother watchtower. It's a shame that we had to give half of our life savings to lawyers instead of dividing it up. I actually made up for all of my ignorance about the watchtower that I had during the marriage. I became engulfed with all the info that was available to me. I was in contact with several well known "Apostates" including names such as: Ray Franz, Robert Reed, Duane Magnani etc.

  She, along with her jw lawyer, and I am sure many other experts in her hall, were adament that she would get sole custody of the child. The end results were quite different for them. I think that the straw that broke the camel's back, was when they decided to hold my examination for discovery (I think you Americans call this a deposition ).

  You see, having all of the info that I had, along with a copy of the society's booklet, "Preparing for child custody cases", was like cheating on a test at school. It was wonderful having answers for her lawyer almost before he asked the questions.

  Without going into great detail here, her lawyer was really anxious to settle all of our differences on that day. He even changed his tune, lying about her wanting sole custody all along, and instead claiming that I was the one that halted the settlement with my demand for custody. I had NEVER asked for sole custody. I had always hoped that my ex would come to her senses and that we would get back together. Now I realize that this would be impossible. I did all of the wrong things at first. I was extremely naive to the watchtower's control of its people. Now I am much better informed. All of her errational moves make sense ( if only cultic sense ).

  A few years ago, I was worried about my child being indoctrinated into the CULT, but I have found an easy way of avoiding that. All one has to do is read just one of the Gospels in the New Testament, and all of the watchtower's nonsense goes out the window. That is the book of John. You really have to wear the watchtower's glasses in order for you to read this account and twist things the way they do. My son, (now 10) has no problem at all with it. Boys will be boys though and every once in a while he shows his mother some of the passages and World War Three begins.

  I think that I have said enough for now. Sorry for rambling on.

  Bet regards,

  68storm
• 

  68storm

  Hello AlanF,

  I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for your reply, and to also try and answer some of your questions. I realize that a lot of it does not seem real.

  I can certainly relate with much of your concerns. You see, I was also under the impression that the abandonment or voluntary move scenario would have a strong bearing on the partner that left the family home. As a matter of fact, I knew of several situations in the past, where it most certainly did. I am sure that most will recall how Hollywood addressed that particular situation in "War of the Roses".

  Unfortunately, in our ever-evolving modern society, the powers to be, are forever trying to be more and more politically correct regarding family breakups. I am not up to date on all the rules of family law in the US, but here in the Province that I reside in, it has changed drastically over the years. We now have, what they term as NO FAULT divorce. It does not matter what the reason is for wanting out of a union, the courts simply try and determine the assets, and equalize them 50/50. I came to the realization that it is much harder now to break a lease, than it is to breakup a family.

  I will have to admit that part of my problems were self-inflicted. When this occurred, I was in quite a shock, to say the least. We may have had many problems in the marriage over the years, (mainly of a religious nature) but at that point, I still loved my wife. I voluntarily gave her a handsome amount as a support payment. Later, as it became clear that my ex, along with the loving elders, had decided differently, I was told by my lawyer that the courts would consider this as having the means to make such payments, therefore, it would be difficult to make changes.

  You also make a valid point that by her moving out of the home, she could not enter uninvited. I thought this also. On that evening, I called the police and notified them of the break-in. They do not like to get involved in domestic disputes of this nature, therefore, after investigating for about a week, they called to inform me that my ex still had her name on the deed and they could not legally charge her. My lawyer did not turn out to be the sharpest tool in the shed either. The only reason that I used him was the fact that he was the only one that I could find that had already represented someone that involved the witnesses. In the other case, the man did get custody of the child, but in so doing, his small company had to declare bankruptcy. Please be sure of one thing; if the jw does not have sufficient funds to fight a custody battle, the society WILL financially support them until they exhaust your assets.

  Regarding your statement that, normally, jws won't get involved with criminal activity, I must disagree. How many times have you heard about their escapades regarding medical records being copied, government assistance fraud, tax evasion etc. etc. I knew of a very long time adherent that thought that he was unjustifiably dismissed from his job and he brought a truck load of equipment (that belonged to his former employer) and stored it in my home. You must realize, having been a jw, that everything that wordly people have, will eventually be yours to keep. Some are admiring all of the huge homes in my area, imaging one day, after the GREAT day, they will reside in them.

  Be aware of one thing. It was my ex's jw solicitor that said that it was ok for them to enter the home and take what was rightfully hers. I am sure that nobody had a problem with that. My lawyer did tell me that I could have taken civil action against everyone except my ex, but , after a cooling off period, I decided that everything could be replaced for less than the amount of money it would take in order to do this.

  After all of the information that I gathered about the jws, I am convinced that, if the boys in Brooklyn, were to get everyone to bear arms, I would be heading for the hills. Jim Jones had nothing over them. Of course there would be exceptions, but I have no doubt that the majority would have no problem with that. Remember one of the watchtowers of the past practically stated that. They said that the only problem with KILLING your enemies was that it was against the law. How wonderful.

  To this day, I cannot really answer your question as to why my wife wanted to leave. She has always maintained that religion had nothing to do with it. To this day, there is still no one else in both our lives. Her notes stated that she could no longer remain in the marriage. I would see that this was the best for both of us. However, with the fact that we spent so much on the custody of our child, (she never once mentioned the older children that chose to live with me) and on many telephone conversations, stating things like, she had to get away from her enemies, she had to save herself and the child, it does not take much intelligence to figure it out.

  I have tried to answer your questions as best as I could. If you have any other thoughts, please share them.

  68storm.
• 

  Francois

  Alan, Alan, Alan, "Normally, JWs won't get involved in criminal activity." ???

  Come on, man. Pedophilia is a criminal activity in every civilized country on the face of the planet. Every one.

  Covering it up make all involved an accessory after the fact.

  Being silent about it constitutes moral rot.

  The construction scam detailed here last week took place at the highest levels of JW-dom. Illegal.

  The insurance scam perpetrated against the JWs in Savannah,Georgia outlined here several weeks ago? Moral terpitude.

  And one more thing; just because something is not overtly illegal, that does not make it ethical or moral.

  And JWs are supposed to avoid even the very "appearance" of evil?

  Come on, Alan baby. Wake up.

  Francois