by badboy 27 Replies latest jw friends
The presiding overseer at one of the congregations I attended was known for being able to hold a good quantity of alcohol. Whether he actually was an alcoholic, I don't know.
He and his buddies regularly went out to eat and sometimes drink after weeknight meetings. Once at a pizza joint I saw him getting more beer than anyone else.
I guess the pressure of the job of elder really affects some of them, and sometimes the symptoms aren't always hidden.
Believe me, Gopher, if a man is an alcoholic, it isn't because he's an elder. If he weren't an elder, he'd find another reason to overdrink.
Blondie
Alcoholism, in all its forms, is the Society's dirty little secret. From Rutherford on, the ability to hold one's own in the liquor department has been a hallmark of dubism and a source of pride, at least among the men.
With many, perhaps most, dub alcoholics, you will never smell liquor on their breath at the Kingdom Hall. They do their drinking after hours, usually at home, in the company of other "social drinkers" from the congo. There are very few teetotalers in the congregations, which is remarkable among so large a group of conservative fundamental Christians.
Many medicate themselves with liquor; it is the one thing that helps them cope with the cognitive dissonance from which all dubs suffer. Elders will rarely counsel others about drinking, unless -- as noted above -- the WTS or the congo is embarrassed in some public way.
Since I stopped drinking several years I've been amazed at the transformation in my thinking. I became a critical thinker and starting dwelling on the questions that constantly arise when you're a JW, and I allowed myself to seek answers. Later I came to realize that my steady drinking masked my feelings for years. It enabled me to be a JW, to use a current pop psych buzzword. I think this kind of self medication is rampant among JWs, based on my 30 years in the org.
Were there any alcoholics in the congregation you attended?
Does a snake crawl on it's belly? Growing up every one of the elder body was a lush..............rotten scumbags.
I agree with willyloman's post,i'm on the same page.I would like to add,beware of AA 12-step programs .
AA has a 90% fail rate,When it doesn't work for you,they put the guilt trip on you for,"not working the program".
""Woe is me i'm such a powerless drunken bum ''
This self-repudiating blame game is the cult dynamic all over again.As with the WT$ origins,always do that regression analysis.WHERE DID IT(AA) COME FROM!
AA 12-step programs got started by two guys who who were Christian Fundy's.They more or less plagiarized JC sermon on the mount address for the 12-step rough draft.
Don't get me wrong,AA IS very much a support group for alcoholics.Much like these EX JW forums have helped many to cope.
It got to a point in my life,when I GOT SICK AND TIRED OF BEING SICK AND TIRED! One of AA's many cute catchphrases.
I stop drinking because i got sick of puking my guts out.
Danny sez:"My worst day sober,is better than my best day in detox"
Been there;Undaunted Danny www.DannyHaszard.com
Oh yes - one or two -- Old Joke -- What is very, very spiritual and an alcoholic -- answer below
A GERMAN BETHELITE
hey danny, good for you on your sobriety, man.
i totally agree with you on AA. all my siblings have gone to Alanon meetings (our dad drank a lot when we were little, one sib is a recovering alcoholic, the others are so-called 'dry drunks'). they brought me the blue book and reading it really made me sick to my stomach, i couldn't finish it. it was too religiously tied in for me. i am happy if it helps some people, but it would not work for me. no 12 step would because of the religious tie-ins.
were there drunks in my hall? why don't you ask me for a list of those who WEREN'T alcoholics?
would be a much shorter list.
my exes dad, the PO was a horribly blatant drunk. used to make me nauseous when he and other elders were at family gatherings, get drunk and start talking about judicial committees.
i always walked away. spent a lot of my time hiding in bathrooms at those parties. boy am i glad that i won't ever have to do that again.
my ex's dad loved to go out on St. patrick's day and would come home stinking drunk (though he was usually on some level of buzz, he drank a lot, every day) and my ex came home, said they'd been singing with the band, then he threw up and passed out. while i was home with a small baby. lovely.
another occaision, we were out to dinner with the in-laws and i insisted on taking the keys and driving home. they were so drunk and so loud they were telling dirty jokes and people in other booths were staring (it was a nice restaurant).
a friend said she once saw another elder and him in the library after the memorial was over drinking the wine. guess they didn't want it to 'go to waste'.
the organization is full of drunkards, gluttons, and other unhealthy people. the only way to get healthy is to get out.
Many of the ones in the KH I was in for most of my time really enjoyed the beer and "spirits", (myself included) in a moderate manner.
When I became an elder in 1986 was when I started seeing what went on behind the scenes so to speak. You know....the dirty laundry that you were required to sort out. And being an elder you really started seeing the heartbreak in people because they felt they couldn't measure up, including myself.
I was on a jot of JC's and the building committee for our new KH that was being planned. There I saw the folly and the back-stabbing and the self-serving interests of my fellows. How did I handle it? I started drinking more and more when I was "off duty". This more and more drinking started affecting my family. Because of this and other problems in the cong affecting me and my family (and at this time my mind started really wondering.....because of the actions of my fellow so called christian brotherhood......how could this be the "truth"?
To shorten this story without a book of details.......I wound up going to Alcholics Annonymous and what an eye opener! This was my first intense mingling with the "world" and I found out that there are WONDERFUL people in the world. I started getting HAPPY again! My wife and I fell in love all over again (especially after I stepped down as an elder in 1990) and my relationship with my daughter became the kind of relationship one wants with his kids.
I went for years without drinking. Whether I"m a true alchoholic or not I don't know. I lean toward the point that I am not an alchoholic in the true sense of the word.
After my wife died, being alone looking at 4 walls got frustrating, so I started going to a local establishment....a sports oriented place on occasion. Who wants to watch a football game or a NASCAR race alone? Not me!
Many times I will just drink ice tea or cranberry juice. Other times I will drink beer. When I drink beer, I stop when it is time to leave.....I come home.....and that is that! I have made some good friends there that I would not have given the time of the day to when I was in the org. I would avoid neighborhood people like the plague then! Now......what a difference. You know........there are a lot of good and loving people out there. For instance......when I got broadsided on my Harley last November and was released from the trauma unit 2 days later (I was in pain and could hardly walk, but no broken bones or internal injuries.......just a slight concussion.....and I was wearing a helmet) who came to pick me up? One of the young guys who frequents that bar. He has told me on several occasions that he sees me as the kind of person he can trust. Makes me feel good!
Thanks for putting up with my rant.
Luv you guys,
HappyDad
Interesting question, ............. my wife and I never drank, apart from the odd one at weekends, until we joined a new congregation which was a little "well to do" that is , many had money and good jobs.
Before we realised we were drinking every night which was (and still is) acceptable, all part of being in the center of the cong !
We had no alcoholics (that I knew off) but plenty of heavy drinkers, men & women. I believe most of the congs with money in the UK are very similar in this regard.
Yep, and I called him Grampa. They never did disfellowship him for that. They disfellowshipped him when the rules changed about chewing tobacco. My congregation was just as dysfunctional as my family.
Tammy
