Jehovah's Celestial Chariot. More WT Fun.

by Englishman 19 Replies latest jw friends

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  Bubbamar

  I couldn't even read all that crap without zoning out.

  Trouble is, their confounded chariot keeps running over people

  That's a riot. -- Yes, soon there will be dead bodies everywhere to the joy and satisfaction of jehovah's people.
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  IronGland

  This sort of thing is probably the best to use if debating with current witnesses. Yeah, God drives around in a chariot and lives in the Pleides star cluster and communicates with people in code and the only people who can decipher it live in Brooklyn NY.

  Dont the mormons basically believe that John Smith or whoever it was that founded them dug up some stones and then god told him to put them inside his tophat and they glowed so he could read the words that became the book of mormon? Now, of course when anyone else looked inside the tophat, they just saw two stones because they only glowed for Mr Smith. And people believed him.

  I'm dumfounded that 4 generation of my family actually believed in something that is arguably just as insane as a man receiving coded messages from his tophat. And they think I'm the one that is insane!
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  Nosferatu

  The vision of the celestial chariot was sobering and stunning to Ezekiel,

  I guess it was then that Ezekiel came down from the high that resulted from chowing on mushrooms that day.

  Instantly, the wheels could change direction because there was a side of the wheel facing in each direction.

  Imagine the horrible whiplash you'd get from a direction change like that! Also, I could see Jehovah falling off the chariot from such a direction change, especially if it's going the speed of lightning.
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  Poztate

  I started to read your thread and then I could not concentrate and my mind blanked out and I fell asleep.

  I wonder if that was just me or if they design these things to make you brain dead.
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  greven

  We apostates will all wind up as Jehovah's roadkill. Too funny!

  Greven
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  badboy

  BTTT

  IT GOOD TO READ RUBBISH!
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  Atilla

  I think God's chariot has broken down and she is now using public transportation.
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  Nosferatu

  Jehovah's Chariot:

  

  This is why the Generation doctrine is still on Watchtower's website
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  Undaunted Danny

  Heeeee Haaaaw,ride em cowboy;

  KEEP PACE WITH JEHOVAH'S CELESTIAL CHARIOT!

  Circa 1991 primary Watchtower study Rockland Massachusetts. I remember the Watchtower lesson well.The $ociety's interpretation/take on the highly symbolic prophecy of Ezekiel chapter one.The visiting guest elder from the Hingham Massachusetts Kingdom Hall,commented on how,"Jehovah's 'wheels' looked like something outta star trex". How reverential,to compare sacred writings to science fiction.

  The lesson to be had was that ,"Jehovah's visible organization makes' changes' at 'light speed.So we need to faithfully,"...keep pace with Jehovah's celestial chariot".Be warned, there is no,'trailer hitch',on Jehovah,s buggy.( his comment)

  Hebrews 13:8-9 clearly states in any Bible:"..Jesus Christ is the same yesterday,today and forever,DO NOT BE CARRIED AWAY WITH VARIOUS AND STRANGE TEACHINGS..".

  How truly blasphemous for the Watchtower to impute Almighty God's 'navigation', to their shifting 'progressive' flip flops,and that the WT$ is in the driver's seat.
  
  [footnote;the draft for this post is two years old,you made my day posting this thread mate.They say there is less than 6 degrees of separation between us all,how true indeed!]
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  badboy

  I thought `GOD' was a `he' not a `she',please explain.