as more time goes by, pinned, you will learn to shed the shame and guilt that they thrust on to you when you were df'd. (i think this is true of folks whether df'd wrongly, or 'rightly' if you're going by jw rules...) i think that the longer you're out, and/or once you learn the truth about the "truth" then you realize that not only don't these people have any authority over you, they sure as hell didn't have the authority to tell your family and friends that you were unfit association; that is something each person should decide in their lives one on one and based on behavior of the individuals involved.
example: i have a never been a jw relative through marriage who was showing undue interest in my young daughter. so my husband and i nipped that in the bud; he is no longer welcome in my home. he knows why, he has never argued the point; so the wife (my blood relative) leaves it be and ironically, told me she agreed with my decision! but that is not based on any committee of men without the facts being involved; that is based on the behavior i saw developing that i wanted to cut right off for my child's safety.
the org. uses df'ing to shame people who question them, for one thing (forget anything else done, that is all you have to do to get the ax!) and once you realize that, that there is just no way to decide you don't believe anymore without these consequences if you get 'found out'...then you realize just how ridiculous the whole thing is and lose the shame and guilt.
i hope this makes sense, i haven't had my caffeine this morning yet. but my point is, don't let them hold the power over you still. like everyone else said, just be your own sweet self to everyone at work, treat the jw's just like everyone else.
recently, we were at a restaurant and a table of jw's (most of whom i recognized) from a cong. i attended 15 years ago were beside ours. one guy (who is a nice person) kept kinda glancing at us like he thought he knew me, but he wouldn't know my husband. anyway, as i ate my meal, i had an epiphany; for the first time, i thought that if someone approached me not knowing i was df'd, and asked, or just approached me that way and i didn't want to continue the conversation, i'd say "how are you?" when they asked how i was, i would reply "You know, i'm better then i've ever been, i'm not a jw anymore!" and leave it at that. if they continued the conversation then it would be their choice. if they walked away, they'd have something to think about to take with them as a lovely parting gift.
in any event, don't hang your head in shame. you don't deserve to. cast that off, today. because you are worthy of love of anyone who treats you well, and don't you doubt that for a second just because three or four men on a committee with no power except over the weak minded told you that you were now an outsider.
love,
fleur
