The fear returns (page 2)

Crooked Lumpy Vessel

It sounds like your daughter may have inadvertanly provided her with more information that you are comfortable with. However, it also sounds like the parents of the JW girl might have been involved with the call. I cant imagine why a school girl would be interested in what congregation you use to belong to. Her mother may have suggested that she give your daughter a call and ask that question. Your daughter may have said in casual conversation that she would like to go to the meeting not realizing the gravity of your feelings or the can of worms that would follow.

In any event, these are delicate issues. Be careful not to be hard on your daughter when you talk to her. Of course it is none of my business how you handle your personal family matters. But I was the mother of two teenagers and I can say that emotions do run high at that age. Whew!! I could tell some stories.

I am sorry you are having to deal with the stress.

confusedjw

Gary - do you regret not stepping in now?

codeblue

Purza, I totally understand your "fear factor"...as I am fading.

I had some recent family attack me....I am still upset over it.

For some reason I get very upset at people when they do this to me, they think they have the right to dissect my "spirituality". Maybe, it is because it is the "reverse of being an active JW"...you know the oppression we went thru to be a "good one"...

I think this process takes time...and just learn the next time someone asks you a question...You don't have to answer it...Set your boundaries!!!

Hugs,

Codeblue

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garybuss

Confused, you wrote:

Gary - do you regret not stepping in now?

Yes! No doubt! I regret the whole JW experience. Sorry I ever married a Witness woman or allowed my children to ever be exposed to Witness people for two minutes.

Stefanie

I think this process takes time...and just learn the next time someone asks you a question...You don't have to answer it...Set your boundaries!!!

I agree with this coment. Perhaps next time you could just say she has the wrong number?

kls

Purza, it comes down to if your daughter is interested in jws ,make sure she is aware of all . ,,,,,,,,,

You teach your kids on the dangers of what can happen in life, don't walk in the road,don't play with gun's etc. Let her know that this is a danger ,if she would need blood or if she were to have a child one day and that child needs blood ,she or the child would have to die to stay face with a jw god. She would not be allowed to associate with you or other family members etc.

Purza

I want to thank everyone for replying. You all have given me some really good points to ponder.

It was mentioned that I need to fill that void that leaving the JWs left behind. How do I do that if I don't know which way to go? I have no need for spirituality right now and I don't know how to give my daughter any spiritual guidance. She asked me if she could be any religion she wanted and I said yes. She said she has a friend who is "pagan" and was talking to him. Of course my JW radar goes ballistic at this point, and I totally did not know what to do.

I did sit and explain to her about how the organization works and the horrible experience I had and why I did not want to go back. That is all I can do right now -- just be open and honest with her and tell her about my experiences.

Purza

Lady Lee

I think sometimes when "we" leave the organization we forget that our children who had some contact with it need to be deprogrammed just as we did. We sit on the internet and we read books and talk to each other about this cult we were in. But do we sit down and provide this information to our children.

They need to know what we are learning. That the WTS and JWs are a cult.

Years ago when a child was abused people would think that if the abuse was never talked about the child would simply forget it. They don't. They need help to understand what happened and that it wasn't their fault. They need information.

So those of you who have left make sure your children know that the WTS and JWs are not some safe little off-beat religion.

I wouldn't be at all surprized if your daughter just needs an outlet to talk about what she remembers. If you aren't doing that for her then I can understand why she would approach R

Sassy

I would be stressed about that too Purza... the thought of someone trying to suck in our children back into the Borg is a horrible thought..

and calling and questioning you is tantimount to harassement. I'd be furious if someone called my place.. I moved just to avoid such things

talesin

This would upset me as well. The question about your former congo, yes that sounds like it was prompted.

Remember being 14? I do, a bit. And working with youth for a few years, helped me go back there. I questioned why we are here, wondered what the Jewish kids at school believed in, wondered what they did in the Buddhist temple down the street. As a JW kid, I was so ignorant of other faiths, and had so many questions.

She could read about religion and philosophy on the internet. You could attend some services of other faiths with her. Tell her you understand her curiosity and are proud of her for taking an interest in spiritual matters. Share your honest feelings about spirituality. Mom's don't have to have all the answers. This could be a journey the two of you take together!

Keep us posted.

talesin

The fear returns

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