Love Is... The Meaning of Life!

by FMZ 115 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  LittleToe

  Some of the best things in life are simply, Frankie.
  I never talked about suppressing it, either.

  You'll probably not appreciate this particular one, but it sums it up well for me:

  There was a conference where three lecturers had been asked to address the subject of "sin" and how to deal with it.
  The first lecturer suggested uprooting it.
  The second suggested trampling it down and suppressing it.
  The third suggested "simply look to Christ".

  Bringing that back on topic - how we deal with external stimulae within, often affects our outlook, as exeplified by two people in identical circumstances who deal with a situation differently.

  I've seen the results of this in my own life, in an intractible work situation that I adjusted to within just the last six months. Attitude, and appying the right kind of "love" can work wonders.
• 

  frankiespeakin

  LT,

  You'll probably not appreciate this particular one, but it sums it up well for me: There was a conference where three lecturers had been asked to address the subject of "sin" and how to deal with it.
  The first lecturer suggested uprooting it.
  The second suggested trampling it down and suppressing it.
  The third suggested "simply look to Christ".

  Yes I think these three lectures engaged in wishfull thinking lecturing,,at least that's what the themes suggest. The last one is the most naive.

  I've seen the results of this in my own life, in an intractible work situation that I adjusted to within just the last six months. Attitude, and appying the right kind of "love" can work wonders.

  Yes showing love,,expressing love is good and refreshing for both the receiver and giver,,I won't deny that. But it is not a cure all.
• 

  imallgrowedup

  LT -

  My turn for esoterical thought!!!

  I think I have to disagree with this statement under certain circumstances:

  It's not that without, but how we deal with it within.
  If you can't deal with it, remove it from your life. It doesn't take hate to achieve that.

  Under "agape" love, ok - this is true. However, under romantic love, this simply can not be the case. Sometimes, the only way to get someone who has been untrue or who is "bad" for you out of your life and/or heart - but that for some stupid reason you still love anyway - you need to focus on the things that they have done that hurt you - which stirs a hatred within - in order to give up the hope of anything ever being the same again with that person. I say this because when two people break up - it is essentially like a death - it is the death of a dream, or the death of a relationship - and people must go through the grieving process in order to heal, just as if someone had died. This is where the (using your words) "how we deal with it from within" comes in. It is not only normal - it is essential - to go through the grieving process because we can not be whole until we do. And part of the grieving process is a phase of anger. How else can anger occur unless it is tied to hatred? Isn't there a fine line between love and hate? Obviously, since the grieving process is - by definition - a process, it doesn't mean that a person must always hate the other person. However, I think it is essential to hate that person "at the proper time" in order to go through the grieving process as the result of a broken relationship, and (using your words) "remove them from your life."

  Thoughts? Comments?! Inquiring Minds Want to Know!!!

  growedup
• 

  frankiespeakin

  growedup,

  I think you make a lot of sense,,you seem like a middle of the road type that can look at both side equally.
• 

  LittleToe

  Before I married I had a number of girlfriends.
  I also separated from my wife a little over eight months ago.

  I don't hate any of them, and never have.
  For sure there's upset, and sometimes short-term anger, however I have grieved, without hatred, in every case.

  Are you suggesting that I'm not over them because I still "love" them, even though I shall never return to them (and hold no desire to do so)?
• 

  LittleToe

  Maybe I should say it this way:

  I have other tools in my arsenal of coping mechanisms.
  I haven't had to resort to hatred in a loooong time...

  Given the health risks of the latter, I'm glad of that.
• 

  frankiespeakin

  LT,,

  I have had break ups and never hated any of the women I broke up with. But Growed up may have been deeply hurt by unkindness and hate may be appropriate.
• 

  LittleToe

  To repeat:

  IMHO hate and anger may have short-term benefits in raising adrenaline levels for specific activity, but long-term it's damaging. Even in the occasions that it is used like that, I would suggest there are other methods for getting the desired effect.

  I believe I'd rather go for "love" every time (though that's not discounting the fact that I may not, under certain circumstances ).
• 

  frankiespeakin

  LT,

  I agree love is better,,but if you just keep shoving hate into the unconscious,,with out some type of resolution,,you will not get rid of it,,because it is still there repressed in the conscious,, but alive in the unconscious to do harm to oneself.
• 

  FMZ

  OK... This thread seems to have jumped the tracks...

  In all this discussion that is going on... you cannot see the wood for the trees!

  Why not be a good, loving person? That's what it is all about.... let me reiterate the closing lines of my original post.

  Starting today... go ahead and love. Do not hold back, do not think twice. Give everything of yourself to others. Feel the love, let it shine throughout your life. In doing so, no matter what you believe, you will have made at least one person smile, and that smile will make the world a better place to live.

  In love... FMZ