The Celt sighs with exasperation.
Ruddy men, who wants em?
Valis, I have pm'ed you to no avail hence I ruddy well write here. You were supposed to be flying in to the UK today to Gatwick, remember?!! I have organised my time to pick you up from the airport at Gatwick a 350 mile drive from here and do I get to hear a ruddy word from you eh?!! Pahhhhhh. Uselessness on two legs ee be lad.
What the ruddy dickens is going on, I need to know ASAP!!
Blimey beautiful day like this, I could be ruddy working not waiting around for you to send me a note which would take you ruddy 30 seconds to ruddy well write. Thats another days wage down the ruddy dunney.
Celtic puts on his most exasperated looking expression, shakes his head in disbelief and sighs.
Good job you don't work for me boy.
Btw welcome to schenalligans UK side, if you don't contact me as you promised, you're a right ruddy wotsit and I'll ..... oh never mind.
Streuth.
Celt.