How far can I trust my JW parents?

by Atilla 14 Replies latest jw friends

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  Atilla

  My parents know how I feel about the whole religion and they now know that I will never come back. There is a somewhat cordial existance at this point but I feel this won't last for long. Why? My wife and I regulary visit my parents and sometimes we even leave our 2 yr child at their house overnight. While I trust them with the safety of my child, I don't trust them to keep their JW religion away from my child. In addition, as they grow older, they aren't exactly making the best financial decisions with regards to retirement, etc.

  They probably still donate $100 if not more a month to the KH which is their decision but I don't want to be stuck with the end bill. If my parents have problems as they grow older, I would feel obligated to help them up to a point. I mean if I tell them the financial water falls are just ahead and they keep paddling full ahead, then it is out of my hands.

  Thus, I may soon have to tell my parents that it is our relationship or the religion. Choose now or else, consequences be damned. I say better to cut them off now instead of getting dragged in myself.
• 

  Valis

  Well, I have had this battle w/my parents and frankly I still don't trust them not to take my kids to the meetings. If they think for one instant they can please Jehovah by going against my express wishes they will i think. It really boils down to thier lack of respect for me as a parent. Of course pleasing Jehover is more important than maintaining a decent relationship w/a heathen bastard like me...Be stern and remind them if you have to. Especially if it bothers you a lot.

  Sincerely,

  District Overbeer of the "BTDT" class
• 

  confusedjw

  $100 per month isn't going to totally make or brake the retirement bank, certainly it would help if they invested it.

  I would tell them that they should view the grandchild as off limits to religious talk. Tell them "let's have a great relationship apart from our religious differences"
• 

  Atilla

  Well, I would say at least $100 if not more and I know they have donated a lot more in the past especially when my dad was in charge of accounts. If there was any deficit for receits vs. books, he most likely made it up. In addition, my mom never got a real full time job over the last thirty years so she could aux. pioneer and play the role of an elder's wife. In addition, I just recently found out that my dad didn't get his doctorate and become a professor like he originally intended because of my mom and the whole religion thing.

  So, I would say that they may be screwed when it come to retirement.

  As for my child, I have laid down guidelines stating that I never want them to talk about relgion to him, but I still have my doubts.
• 

  got my forty homey?

  Do not trust JW parents. When I was inactive for two years they had invited to thier homo and the elders would come over asking me questions about whaty I was doing and rumors or my drug abuse, etc. Upon returning home to my parents from being homeless drug addicted they took me back only on the promise that I would admit my sins to the elders and get disfellowshipped.

  Jw parents will take up for the organization before thier own children, ask many in this board.
• 

  ApagaLaLuz

  It's a terrible thing to know you cant trust family. I am in a similar situation as you. I've been helping my elderly, retired parents both financially and with everything else. I was shocked to have the rug pulled out from underneath me recently. I've come to the conclusion that they are NEVER going to change and I shouldnt try, nor ever expect them to. So I continue to live my life teh way I think is right, and I continue to help them. Even though others have argued taht I let them take advantage of me. I dont care, they are my parents, tehre's no changing that. And I do it because I love them, and it makes me feel good.

  here's a link to some great advice I got........

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/72461/1.ashx
• 

  truthseeker1

  How far can you throw them?
• 

  Atilla

  here's a link to some great advice I got........

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/72461/1.ashx

  Chevy,

  good link

  I think my parents are beginning to realize that no one in their congregation is going to help them and my parents are actually trying to move closer to me and away from our old KH. For one, everyone is either getting old in their KH or belongs to a family clique that may have 30 or more members in it. No so with my parents, it's just them and that's it. Also, I believe they have been politically damaged by the fact that both me and my brother have left, thus I think their so called dub friends may feel they get what they deserve.
• 

  Shutterbug

  Thus, I may soon have to tell my parents that it is our relationship or the religion. Choose now or else, consequences be damned. I say better to cut them off now instead of getting dragged in myself

  Let's see now, your relationship is cordial and your parents may be moving toward you and away from the congregation, which is good. If I'm understanding your post you are wanting to cut them off because of financial reasons, that is not good. Please talk to them and encourage them to start putting money back and warn them that any help you can give in the future may be limited because of your obligation to your wife children etc.
• 

  Corvin

  While I trust them with the safety of my child, I don't trust them to keep their JW religion away from my child.

  Your thinking is correct. They will not miss an opportunity to indoctrinate those young children . . . they can't help it. They think they are doing something noble and godly. It is their hypocritical duty and they will do it against your preferences and direction. It is how the cogs in the great Watchtower machine operate and they go about it at nearly any cost to that child's psyche. I have seen it in action by others and the memory of doing it to my own kids is disquieting to me.

  If we want free, healthy and for the most part, '"normal" children, prevent or limit their exposure to those, even grandparents, who mindlessly spew Watchtower dogma.

  Best Regards,

  Corvin