Awake exploits family tragedy ....

by dedalus 13 Replies latest jw friends

  • dedalus
    dedalus

    By now most here have read the terrible story of a pregnant Witness, Theresa Giarrano, who was murdered for her unborn child. The story appeared in Vogue magazine shortly after the events took place; it is only now, 10 months later, that the Awake (July 22, 2001 issue) has published anything about this tragedy.

    Though the story is "as told by" Theresa's father, James Giarrano, it is such a twisted piece of exploitation that I can only believe a ghost writer or collaborator is behind it. First of all, the story itself becomes flat, monotone, passionless, propagandistic, with none of the real grief or pathos that attends human tragedy. Second, the voice of the narrator is exactly the same as in all of the other "as told by" stories that appear in the Awake. Whether the narrator is a violin player, a former street thug, an octogenarian, a street mime, or a retired pugilist, the voice in these short personal pieces is always exactly the same -- no personality, no idiosyncratic nuances of style, no sense of a self.

    That said, there are some particular quotes I found particularly repulsive, given the doctrines promoted in the very pages in which this story is told:

    In attendance [at Theresa's memorial service] were family members, friends, police officers, the mayor, and others from the community. Members of the media were also present, and local television stations filmed the discourse, which was also broadcast live over the Internet. In addition, hundreds of people stood in the school lobby or huddled under umbrellas outside in the cold raid, listening over speakers that had been hooked up. The discourse gave a far-reaching witness about our Bible-based beliefs.

    So, according to the Awake, the memorial was really an opportunity to witness to masses of worldly people. It was an opportunity to promote doctrine. Was it an occasion to remember the deceased? Did the speaker focus on the individual who had died, her life, her personality, that which made her unique and loved? Not according to the Awake, which puts "beliefs" before individuals.

    It gets worse.

    Afterward, hundreds of people waited patiently in line to offer condolences. We stayed for nearly three hours, hugging all those who had come and expressing our appreciation for their presence. Following the service a local hospital provided a meal for over 300 of our family members, close friends, and others who had assisted in recovering our grandson.

    We cannot adequately express how much we appreciate what people -- mostly strangers -- did to help us. This experience has made us more determined than ever to have a full share in the Christian ministry, for there are a lot of kindhearted individuals whom we want to reach with the good news of God's Kingdom.

    Who were these people who offered condolences, prepared meals, donated money and clothes, sent cards, and attended to the needs of the bereaved? Although many Witnesses no doubt lent a hand, it is clear that the disproportionate majority of those who assisted were worldly people,, part of the 99.9 percent of humanity who are on Satan's side, soon to be destroyed. And though these people helped when they saw others in need, they are still condemned by the doctrine of Witnesses to death -- why else would James Giarrano, the narrator, feel such an urgent need to "reach [them] with the good news of God's Kingdom"?

    When she was found murdered, I must admit that I wondered why my prayers were not answered. Of course, I know that Jehovah does not guarantee miraculous protection for his people individually. I continued to pray for understanding. I have been comforted in the knowledge that Jehovah protects his people spiritually--that is, he provides what we need in order to safeguard our relationship with him. That type of protection is most important, for it can affect our eternal future. In that sense, Jehovah did protect Theresa; she was serving him faithfully at the time of her death.

    I don't want to disrespect a father's grief and struggle for understanding, but this passage only underscores the basic Witness belief that non-Witnesses will not receive the "eternal future" set aside exclusively for those within the Organization -- every good Witness knows that the only way to "serve Jehovah faithfully" is to be a Witness! This passage also give short shrift to the really troubling questions behind all this: Why won't an all-loving, all-powerful, all-knowing God -- a God whose chief attributes (according to the Organization) include justice -- prevent an atrocity like this, a crime committed against a mother and her unborn baby, the most innocent of innocents? WHY? What possible purpose could her death have served; what possible justification can there be for not preventing such an atrocity? James Giarrano does not (and perhaps isn't allowed to) explain how he overcame his doubts; he only glosses over them with scriptures about the resurrection.

    Jehovah truly helped us to cope with this unspeakable tragedy. Oh, we still grieve for our dear Theresa. We expect that our grief will not be completely erased until we can hug her again in Jehovah's new world. In the meantime, we are more determined than ever to serve Jehovah faithfully. Jonathan is determined to raise Oscar to love and serve Jehovah, and Vicki and I will assist him in every way possible. It is our heartfelt desire to be on hand in God's new world to welcome Theresa back and introduce her to the son that she did not get to hold in her arms.

    Exactly how did Jehovah help these poor people? Did he prevent the brutal death of an innocent mother? No. Did Jehovah send the worldly people to the family's aid, people he plans to kill very, very soon? Not likely. And now the family is bent on remaining in the Organization and indoctrinating a baby in its beliefs, because they are told that this is the only way they will ever see their daughter again. And that, of course, is the real theme of the article: it isn't about Theresa at all! "No matter what terrible things happen to you, no matter who helps you through difficult times, no matter how badly your heart is wounded, do NOT leave the Organization, or you will never see your loved ones again."

    The Witness way of thinking about things like this is not, in my opinion, conducive to healthy grieving.

    Dedalus

  • Moxy
    Moxy

    this is an interesting article and interesting comments, dedalus. i'll look forward to going thru it myself.

    i like the expression about homogenization of these life-stories. like, did every one of these contributors decide unanimously that the best format to use for their story was:

    "i was in this perilous/bizarre/humourous situation that makes for a good attention-getting first paragraph. how did i come to be in this situation? read on, despite the type size getting smaller and there being less attention-grabbing content in the paragraph just finished, i promise to get to the situation i just mentioned by about the third page. after i get thru the basic boring facts of my life and ministry up to that point, that is."

    there's obviously a lot of coaching and editing that goes on. however, i would not be too quick to attribute the expressions of the father in this article to propogandist-minded editors. (not that you were.) it sounds to me very much like the type of insular, clinical thinking that people in such tragic points in their life use to protect themselves from the reality of the pain. its that kind of protection from pain that makes me and many others so reluctant to disturb the faith of other JWs when they're not looking for or ready for answers yet. imagine how traumatic an experience it would be for this father, assuming the sentiments of the article to be genuine, if his own personal watchtower-provided armor came crumbling away from him.

    i also thought this point in the conclusion was incredibly interesting, though you didnt comment on it:

    Jonathan is determined to raise Oscar to love and serve Jehovah, and Vicki and I will assist him in every way possible. It is our heartfelt desire to be on hand in God's new world to welcome Theresa back and introduce her to the son that she did not get to hold in her arms.

    wont this be kind of a bittersweet reunion, according to the WT understanding? the child will probably have a new mother, her husband's new and eternal wife. what kind of role could theresa have in the life of her child if she is no longer able to be a family member?

    mox

  • Mommie Dark
    Mommie Dark

    "wont this be kind of a bittersweet reunion, according to the WT understanding? the child will probably have a new mother, her husband's new and eternal wife"

    Yes, the kid already has a new mother. Dad didn't even wait six months to get him another dubmissive wife (wasn't that the coolest typo? I'll leave it, it's SOO descriptive). So much for any deep grief on HIS part...I wonder how Theresa's parents felt about that? I notice the Asleep! rag is silent on THAT point.

  • larc
    larc

    A couple of thoughts,

    The Witness funerals are the worst I have ever seen. They have no idea what a terrible representation of their religion they are making to the outside world. Generally, precious little is said about the person who died. They don't want to glorify the individual, even in death. Most of the time is spent in proving their resurrcection, soul, paradise doctrines. It is neither the time or place for that, but they are too blinded by dogma to see that.

    When Witnesses go to a funeral conducted by a nonwitness minister they are so rude and unfeeling in their behaviour that it is hard to imagine. This has been discussed in great detail before on this forum, and I know many, including myself, could provide detailed examples of what I have summarized.

    Regarding charity towards the berieved family. I would bet the "worldly people" did a lot more than the brothers and sisters from the Hall.

  • think41self
    think41self

    Dedalus,

    Thanks for posting this. I agree with you 100%, it is not a healthy way to deal with grief....at all. I would be willing to bet money that within 1 year, the mother, father and husband will be suffering depression or a mysterious illness. Then the brothers will encourage them to attend more meetings....then the depression will deepen...then they will be marked as spiritually weak....and you know the rest of the story. How sad

    Think41self

  • patio34
    patio34

    Thanks Dedalus for that summation and opinions. I can't believe the things I didn't notice when 'in' like the similarities in all the 'as-told-by' stories.

    Larc, The funerals ARE really a sham and just another occasion for the 'spreading' of WTS doctrine. What a DISservice.

    What a sad situation. Thanks for updating those of us who never crack open the pages of the WT and Awake.

    Pat

  • Moxy
    Moxy

    my father gave a funeral talk for my mother's father who was not a witness. the service was at a non-denominational funeral home and i guess the family felt that my father was the most qualified. the talk given was only slightly different from the outline given for a witness memorial talk. i dont know if thats a specific outline or just up to the individual to use the content of the outline as it applies. but i found the talk very disrespectful. my grandfather had no connection to the witnesses at all and the words used to sum up his life and comfort the family (many non-witness) were largely a bible sermon on the resurrection and paradise hope. it was sad in a way i find hard to explain.

    mox

  • larc
    larc

    Mox,

    I it very sad. My wife's sister died a year ago at about this time. She was not a Witness. Her father and a much younger sister are Witnesses. Of course, my wife and I are not. Witness showed up in large numbers at the visiting hours. None, except the Witness family members showed up at the funeral service. The Protestant minister gave a very warm, sincere message which emphasized the value of the deseased with no discussion of doctrine. After the service, people came by the casket and thanked the minister for his fine message. My wife's Witness father would not say anything to the minister, nor shake his hand. He simply walked past him as if he didn't exist. In this situation, maybe the title of Tina Turner's song fits, "What's Love Got To Do With It."

  • r51785
    r51785

    I agree with Larc's description of the JW funeral. When my JW father died my wife was quite surprised by the nature of the funeral service. She described it to her friends as a "Watchtower infomercial." Probably no more than two or three minutes were spent on the deceased. The remaining 45 minutes was a rehash of WT doctrine and a recruiting pitch for those of us "worldlings" in the audience.

  • BoozeRunner
    BoozeRunner

    EXCELLENT POST!!! WTS funerals are nothig more than a way to promote interest in joining the (B)org. They hope to achieve this objective by scaring people into thinking that they will never see loved ones again unless they attach themselves to the so-called "MOUTHPIECE OF GOD", aka FDS.

    T41, WTS congos deal with grief by spouting meaningless cliches, ie, "wait on Jehovah", "just keep doing what you're doing" etc, etc.
    This doesnt work in the REAL WORLD.
    I have experienced the WTS "help" when it comes to losing a loved one, hell it was my wife. I remember going to an elders house for dinner shortly thereafter.(I guess he figured I needed to get out{he shoulda read the booklet "When Someone You Love Dies})
    Anyway, I wouldnt even say a prayer over dinner. RED FLAG, ya think???
    As long as I led the group into FS each Tuesday, they didnt give a flying FUCK how despondent I was.
    The HELL with their ORG, the HELL with their BS cliches, I am glad my eyes were opened up. It took DFing me, but the result has been rewarding.

    Boozy, who actually misses the only elder who really understood what he was going thru.

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