JWs--cult or am i just bitter? (page 2)

Tashawaa

I was watching Oprah the other day. It was about women who committed crimes. Near the end, she interviewed two girls - one who had family support and learnt from her crime/mistake, the other girl was "thrown away" from her parents and had no family support. Oprah made it very clear the mental/social implication of "discarding" someone.

I believe this is what we struggle with the most and why there are so many support groups for ex-JWs. We've been "discarded". We're told we're unworthy and disposable.

I believe we join together to reinforce ourselves, to prove to ourselves that we do have "worth". That it is morally wrong to discard someone.

I believe that any organization (be it work, volunteer organzations, religions) have the right to remove people from groups that don't follow the group's rules, and individuals have a right to leave if they no longer support the group. BUT, I disagree with the excess JWs take with the total "cutting off" from friends and family. Even in society, when you commit a crime, and are sent to prison, you are allowed visits from friends and family.

Quotes

Sinamongurl, to answer your questions:

Yes, JWs are a cult (that is to say that nearly all of the indicators and markers which are used by psycologists to identify cults apply to JWs).

And to answer the second part, "am I just bitter?" -- Yes. And with good reason. People who have been lied to are bitter, even if those telling the lie didn't know it was a lie. Almost every JW alive today (including, I posit, some on the Gov. Body) don't realize Watchtowerism is a lie.

But their sincerity does not exculpate them from being sharers in the lie and promoters of a cult.

The good news: eventually you will get past the bitterness and have a super-productive life beyond the cult. Sounds like you are starting down the road to recovery.

Welcome.... to the real world -- Morpheus in The Matrix

~Quotes, of the "Neo Is The One" class

Markfromcali

As some others have implied in their posts, whether the JWs are a cult and whether you are bitter are two different things, though certainly connected. But even if you are bitter, that doesn't mean the JWs can't be a cult.

In fact, I would point out that the fact people are so enmeshed and can't really distinguish themselves as their own person is one of the indicators that it is a cult. This is why we call it the Borg, after the Star Trek race that assimilates people into one big machine hive-mind. In a healthy relationship with a group, the person is autonomous and at the same time part of a united group. This is also why there is disfellowshipping, if one was not so dependent on the group it would be a joke, or atleast nowhere near as devastating as it is. Also taken into consideration the whole "no part of the world" stuff where they essentially shuns everyone that's not a JW, (so that you can't be part of another group and get support from them) you got a pretty clear picture of whats going on. This whole set of circumstances fosters an immature psychology dependent on the group.

4JWY

sinamongurl ~

It is a process and a new journey that you have begun. All kinds of thoughts and feelings will be racing through your mind for awhile - no one should ever say how you should or shouldn't feel - you are you - and the way you feel IS you and it's okay, bitter, angry, sad, whatever. We've all shared those feelings on discovering what we truly have been a part of, many for our entire lives. Allow yourself to experience the emotions and continue to look into things as you are. Read and read some more - my husband and I haven't stopped talking for over a year now - throwing all the issues around and back and forth. We have been very happy to have the help of all those on this board too. The wide range of personalities, experiences, knowledge and thoughts shared has been wonderful.

Life is beautiful and now you have the opportunity to truly live it!

4JWY

cyber-sista

Sinamon,

When I was exiting the Org I went through a period of extreme guilt. Even though I knew I could never set foot in a KH again because of all that had happened to myself and what I saw others going through I still felt a lot of guilt. I also felt very alone like I was the only one in the world that this was happening to. When I reached the end of my rope I figured I might as well just look around to see if there was any who had been through similar things. I found a couple of other websites and organizations that were helpful to me and identified JWs as a cult along with some other similiar groups who use similiar tecniques on their members. I soon discovered there were thousands out there such as myself who had been through some of the same experiences. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Yes, it is a high controlling cult like money making Organization. I was in a state of shock at first, but am recovering with the help of this board and some professional therapy. I would suggest professional help. There are many issues to deal with when you are exiting the Org and it really helps to have the support. There is life beyond the Organization

All the best to you,

cybs

PS. If you can find a therapist who is familiar in dealing with those exiting cults. I found one in my small town. Most psycologists know how to help people who have been involved in abusive controlling relationships, such as what we had with the WTBTS.

1VTHokie

I'm so sorry that you're have a hard time right now. Things will get better; I promise.

Yes, the JW's are a cult. As for being bitter, I think it's normal to be bitter after all the crap they put us through. Most people are bitter after experiencing abuse. The key is to work through all of that, and that takes time and a lot of sorting out.

Talking about your experiences relieves the bitterness and anger. You're in the right place.

Hugs,

Rita

flower

Yes they are a cult and yes you have every right to be bitter.

Deputy Dog

sinamongurl

We can debate the definition of a cult, and how the JW's fit. But they definitely are False Prophets!

Don't Go Back!

D Dog

Corvin

I am still struggling with whether JWs are really a cult or is it just that Im bitter for being torn away from the only thing that I knew, where I had friends that I thought loved me

Yes, they are, and yes you are.

the mole

hi..being that im a former m.s and grown up with the same issues and then leaving was hard just as you described.. my entire family has split up based on what they think the org means about any opinion the other half of the family thinks.. i really believe the org divides families and doesnt train people to have unconditional love...everything so far has been with exceptions to having me back in the family functions..my moms side who are non believers never cared and always invited me whether or not i ever showed...i have come to think they have more love and forgiveness for ignoring them than any jw who has been converted to believe the doctrine of deciet......if there are conditions to having you participate or join that is not love thats giving in to the greatest lie that man made religions have invented ( conform or be cast out)......the mole

JWs--cult or am i just bitter?

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