by Free2Bme 36 Replies latest jw friends
another one promise this is the last
was raised in the military
was riding my bicycle about 8 yrs of age, around the school,in the back and lo and behold, i found the coolest bicycle handle streamers, put them on with pride, drove bike home, mom saw me and had a fit,,,were used condoms,,,,
wendy
Ohh man where to start!
I of course have a had a few of the ubottend blouse things at school a few times, for some reason no one mentioned it.
I remeber one time in high school I was bench pressing in weights class. Well my spotter was a moron that day and wasn't paying attention. We lift it off the bar, but I wasn't ready and she just let go!!! Well the bar fell smack on my boobs. IT HURT SOOO BAD. but now one could take the bar off becuase they were laughing so hard. Coach V said it was a good thing I was so 'ample' because otherwise I could have cracked or broken a few ribs. OHHH it hurt so bad and I was soo embarrased, my greatest fear was they'd swell up hahhahahha and they'd prob do it uneven too. I did get a few offers to help with the ice though, hmm what friends.
Ohh I'm sure I'll think of more.
"I'm gonna wash that borg right out of my hair,I'm gonna wash that borg right out of my hair,I'm gonna wash that borg right out of my hair, and send it on it's way"
Keep it up, this thread is the funniest.
One time, one of the brothers on the mikes at the KH had to go to the toilet. He didn't know what to do with the microphone, so he put it in his shirt pocket. But he left it switched on. He was told off for that.
esther
Oh. My. God.
I damn near wet my pants, you guys. I'm trying really hard not to laugh too loud so I don't wake the neighbors.
This is the best thread I've read in ages. Thank you, Free. You are so hilarious! And thanks to everyone else for sharing your mortifying experiences. I'll try to dredge up a few of my own. This is great.
riz
Can I change my name cos it's terrible having so many embarrasing moments? I think I have had more than my fair share!
This isn't mine but it tickles me.
It happened to the non-witness dad of my friend years ago.
He was cycling along a quiet country road and after sometime felt gaseous gurglings. So as he rode along he stood tall on his pedals, thrust out his bottom and let out a very long loud trump. Just at that second a lady overtook him on her bike !!
Sorry about this but on the subject of periods...
I remember mine were horrible and started in the middle of a meeting at so young an age I blubbered cos I thought something was seriously wrong when I went to the loo to find blood! I recall being at school in an Art lesson when out of nowhere my period arrived in major style. I stood up and there was a huge stain on my school skirt. I ran for the door but not before one of the lads had shouted "What's that red all over your skirt?". Quick as a flash I told him I'd knocked a pot of paint over me (liar...but thank God it was Art hehe)I had to tie the sleeves of my cardie round my waist and run home.
And on a slightly less yukky theme (honest I am not obsessed with toilets,condoms and boobs) I embarrased myself at school in a very different way.
Being a JW and a bit brainy in Junior school I suppose I was perceived as responsible and trustworthy. I was only about 12 when I became involved with helping younger students with reading which I thought was great cos I was taken out of lessons to do it so it felt like skiving.
One particular afternoon I was sat in the cloakroom area holding my little reading class outside a classroom when the teacher came out and told me to go into the class and keep an eye on them while he popped somewhere for a few minutes.
So I felt rather important and told them to read their books etc. Of course the second that the teacher was out of earshot the little sods started chattering away and I panicked as I took my assignment very seriously. So I fretted a bit yelling at them to shut up blah blah blah but this one cheeky little kid in particular started winding me up real bad. Up to that moment I don't think I was aware I had a temper but something snapped when he called me FATTY! A few moments later the teacher burst into the classroom to the sight of me holding the boy by his hair in a vicious grip and repeatedly banging his head on the wooden desk!!
Needless to say I lost my teaching assignment and to add to the humiliation was sent before the HeadMaster for a severe ticking off which for a known GoodyGoody was talk of the school.
Somehow I never felt attracted to Teaching as a career when I was older.lol.
That is DEF the last. I am becoming obsessed. Everytime I remember another one I shake my head cos I can't believe the things that happen to me.
Oh to be sophisticated...even for half an hour please!
Free
I opened a window, sprayed perfume and flushed again... I took an old cardboard tube from a toilet roll and started stabbing it.
(Whew) You had me worried, girl. I thought you were about to tell us you picked it up and threw it out the window! ROFL
COMF
a moment my brother experienced. it was the time he was about 3 my sister age 2. they were in the bath together and there was a giant floater. My mother in shock scooped it out with her hand and flushed it.
i went on a school field trip age 10 to the zoo. Everyone was standing around the exibit of seals. I watched very closely hanging on the bars. I was surounded by my whole class, and Then I noticed I had just grabbed a part of the bar with the biggest booger stuck to it. I tried to get rid of it but everyone thought it was mine. I was caught trying to loose the giant gob of goo.
