Is Virginity All It's Crack'd Up To Be? (page 6)

talesin

It should be a NON issue. We claim to be enlightened.

Viriginity is all about (1) religion and (2) selling women's hymens to the highest bidder.

And as long as you are safe, and disease-free, it doesn't matter HOW MANY partners you have had. That's a personal choice, and "IT" is the same whether "IT" has been with one partner, or 50, or 100.

If I had felt grossed out by my partners' sexual history, then I would have missed out on the love of my life, as he had slept around A LOT before meeting me. And "IT" had nothing wrong with it, as he had ALWAYS used protection.

And yes, I was a virgin and so was my ex-husband. He was not a JW. We knew nothing about sex, and our sex-life sucked. That's not to say that you can't have a good sex-life if you are both virgins, but experience is a great teacher.

my two cents

TallTexan

In a nutshell, NO! I was one of those 'wait til I was married' JW's and I fell into the same situation that many of my peers were/are in. I married way too young b/c I wanted to have sex. Now, in all fairness, it was good, but I NEVER got over that 'what would it be like' w/ other people feeling. I think that's simply human nature. Most of the JW girls/women I knew who waited until they were married ended up divorced for infidelity b/c either a) they were NOT satisfied in bed or b) the curiosity of 'what it's like w/ others' got the best of them. The JW policy of not dating until you're married and of bashing your brains in if you 'fornicate' results in so many unhappy and disillusioned marriages because people don't learn how to handle relationships on a gradual basis. It's like, one day you're not dating, then you can only date in a group, then you're married. You have no idea how to interact one-on-one until the wedding night. That's stupid! And, with the mandate that you can't divorce unless there's infidelity, you're taking a REAL chance on being stuck in a sexually frustrating relationship. It's usually women that suffer the most, because they find that their partner cannot or will not satisfy them sexually, so they go looking elsewhere and suddenly they're dissed b/c they're married to a lousy lay.

And Blondie, I disagree (most politely) with your statement about women being compared to 'a purchase'. It goes both ways - women can test drive men too. Why does that have to be a sexist statement? I've known plenty of women who wish they had test driven their man first...lol. I simply think it's a good analogy that if you really like the car, can afford the car, and intend on buying it, you should be able to see if it's going to meet ALL your needs.

One of my best friends has been married to two JW virgins and vowed he would never again marry a virgin, because they really don't know what they're doing....(well, the fact that he's dissed may have something to do w/ him not marrying another one...lol). They've both ended up committing adultery out of curiosity (or maybe he was a lousy lay).

Just my 2c....I'm sure I've pissed SOMEONE off by now.....but then I wouldn't be me, I guess.

logansrun

I do think it's interesting that most of the posters who think that waiting to have sex until you are married is a good thing also are religious, specifically, Christians. Think that has anything to do with it?

B.

Crazy151drinker

As long as you're going to become celebate when you hit 50 women, then that's fine.

Well I will be living near Vegas

My point is that you can be a Virgin and still know what to do. Its all about knowledge. And doing it over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over.............

Billygoat

I do think it's interesting that most of the posters who think that waiting to have sex until you are married is a good thing also are religious, specifically, Christians. Think that has anything to do with it?

I knew this was going to be commented on.

My personal convictions to NOT have pre-marital sex with my husband are based on the fact that I HAD pre-marital sex with the other relationships in my life and all of them led to me being broken-hearted. Like many women, I equated sex with love. I realize now they are not equal. On our second date, I told Neil about how I wasn't interested in having sex again until I was married. It was something I had said to two other men and within a week, I didn't hear back from them. Honestly, what did THEY want?

I'm a fairly attractive and trusting girl. When a guy said they loved me, I believed them. I loved them back and shared a very intimate portion of my being with them because of that. Heartache after heartache showed me that they were lying in an effort to get into my britches. So yes, I was in essence "testing" my husband as to whether or not he loved me or my body. Neil responded with, "I respect that. You don't have to worry about me ever pushing you." I was floored! I was floored even more when months went by and he didn't push me to have sex. His actions and words matched up. In the meantime, we became best friends. When he proposed to me, he still didn't push, even though a wedding was on the horizon. (An excuse for many couples to give in. We just figured, we've gone 18 months like this, why give in now?) So we didn't do anything until our wedding night. And in the meantime, we are STILL best friends.

It's a friendship bred of respect for each other and our values. Realizing "good things come to those who wait". Cheesey? Call it what you want, but for us it was the only way. My religion teaches me that pre-marital sex has more negative things to it than positive. My experience has taught me that teaching is true. Try having a romantic relationship without the sex. See what comes of it. You might be surprised.

Crazy151drinker

On our second date, I told Neil about how I wasn't interested in having sex again until I was married. It was something I had said to two other men and within a week, I didn't hear back from them. Honestly, what did THEY want?

Im glad you stuck to your guns. I have friends that use to say this but stopped when they kept losing guys. Stay strong ladies! Make us work for that action

logansrun

I think that's more must a matter of your opinion, Billygoat. There are plenty of people who have had sex in a relationship before they were married and everything turned out just fine. There have been plenty of virgins who got married and their relationship turned into shit.

There's more to marriage than love, actually. People's needs and philsosphy of life also come into play. If two people are mature enough to see that sex and love are seperate things, why can't they have both of these aspects of life in their relationship both before and after marriage?

Does your husband share your faith? That may, in part, explain his being okay with not having sex before marriage.

Bradley

Crazy151drinker

If two people are mature enough to see that sex and love are seperate things

This is where the problem starts: If you dont love someone are you really going to give sex your all?? Im a pleaser for the pure ego boost but the vast majority of males are going to turn it into a basic 'F**k'

Either way, Im saving myself for CHEVY

logansrun

Women like to get laid too, you know. It's not all about the lovey-dovey stuff.

B.

logansrun

BG,

Try having a romantic relationship without the sex. See what comes of it. You might be surprised.

What I hear you saying is that sex can cloud a relationship and make it more about sex than love. Playing it safe, don't have sex before marriage and you can be confident your partner really loves you.

But doesn't someone's attractiveness and the possibility of future sex also a possible distortion of they're true feelings? To play it even safer, why not date people who you have not seen face to face or in a picture? You can talk over the phone and just get to know them. That way, a person will not have the distortion of a pretty face and can focus on qualities alone!

Of course, that's ridiculous. It's the total package we are interested in. If that includes sex, so be it. If not, so be it.

B.

Is Virginity All It's Crack'd Up To Be?

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