Matters of concern with my time spent as part of the jehovah's witness cult

by Holey_Cheeses*King_of_the juice. 13 Replies latest jw friends

  • Holey_Cheeses*King_of_the juice.
    Holey_Cheeses*King_of_the juice.

    As I reflect on my time spent as a jw, there are certain issues that continue to disturb me about my conduct and lifestyle as a member of that so-called 'religion'.

    From the outset, let me state that I did not suffer any physical, sexual, or mental abuse from any members of the cult, that so unfortunately was inflicted upon many persons who now can gladly consider themselves as ex-members of that sorry excuse for a humane (or godly, whichever way you prefer to recognise it) organisation. Certainly, there were conflicts of personality, and some bad business dealings, but, really, I consider that I 'got off lightly' from the fifteen or so years I wasted as a member.

    One thing is certain - that no-one, I repeat, no-one, can spend any time as part of that cult and, who manages to escape, who will come away unscathed. All will carry some form of scar.

    So what are my concerns? Firstly, that I was a disappointment to my father. My father engendered in me a healthy disregard for all religious affiliation. He loathed the pomp, regalia, ceremony, rituals, and customs of religion. Perhaps it was part of my rebelling against parental authority that made me seek an interest in the dubs. Then again, it may have been the drugs. Although my father is now dead, and I was well and truly no longer a dub by the time he passed away, I still feel that I was a disappointment to him for taking up with the dubs in the first place. While I was a dub he never outrightly criticised me, but I knew he was displeased. Although, once I was no longer a dub, it was not a subject which we ever spoke at any great length about, I just hope he was able to forgive me for my stupidity.

    Secondly. The lifestyle I inflicted upon my two sons (both now adults aged 23 and 26). The witness religion is no place for mature adults, much less small children who have no way of fully understanding the standards they are expected to meet as impressed upon them as bible principles by misguided parents. Being dragged door to door, boring meetings, associating with moronic children of other dubs. My sons suffered unnecessary torment at school from their peers, although, as the eldest had entered high school the interest in the religion was fading rapidly as my wife and I became more liberal with their activities and associates. They too carry the scars of a religion which they now despise immensely. Rightly, they feel some resentment to my wife and I as parents for the strife they endured as witness children.

    There is also concern for my wife, who put up with having the book study in our home for years, having to cater for unthankful, free loading, lazy arsed brothers and sisters who we were trying to 'encourage'. Witnessing - oh, how we both hated that 'spiritual activity'.

    Thirdly. Selfishly I guess, I am grieved over the years (and possibly best years of a persons life) that can only be considered as completely wasted as a dub. The years of strutting the streets, spending beautiful Spring and Summer days stuck inside a hall listening to self righteous arseholes pontificate about their glorious god (read manmade organisation). There can be no activity that is a greater waste of time going under the deceptive guise as 'helping your fellow man' than the 'work' (loosely used term) that is engaged in by jws.

    There maybe some who will criticise me for being so negative perhaps - certainly I have a loving wife and two fine sons, resulting from my time with the dubs. Even that has had its sad consequences, but believe me, there is nothing else positive that can be directed to the dubs.

    If allowed, I will continue to ridicule the WTS, its members, supporters, and apologists. Totally unapologetically. Maybe it's my way of dealing with my experience with the cult.

    cheeses. Often misunderstood, seldom mistaken.

  • Obviously Secret
    Obviously Secret

    I can see your heart brotha. I went through some crap myself.

    I try not to redicule the members of it too much because nobodies perfect. Shoot they must be misguided but even people who finally get out have their own problems to face so I don't like to redicule them just cause they are in it. Everybody has crap in their lives ya know?

    But it's always best to be positive though. Unless you want to vent like your doing now, be as negative as you want.

  • BLISSISIGNORANCE
    BLISSISIGNORANCE
    The lifestyle I inflicted upon my two sons

    SAME.....................my 3 kids went through the same crap....................................

    Being dragged door to door, boring meetings, associating with moronic children of other dubs
    having to cater for unthankful, free loading, lazy arsed brothers and sisters

    were we in the same congregation???????????????? had plenty of those type of dubs, making new converts like me feel privelaged to have them in our homes.

    I am grieved over the years (and possibly best years of a persons life) that can only be considered as completely wasted as a dub. The years of strutting the streets, spending beautiful Spring and Summer days stuck inside a hall listening to self righteous arseholes pontificate about their glorious god (read manmade organisation).

    I feel sad for my talented husband who gave up sooooooooooo much time and opportunities to be a dub.

    But we are all free now, thank goodness.

    I fully understand where you are coming from. We may well know some of the same CO's and DO's, maybe even some publishers.

    Seems that the borg manages to bring out the same qualities in it's people regardless of where they are.

    You and i are the lucky ones..............we got out...............with scars, but out!

    cheers mate.

    Bliss

  • LongHauler
    LongHauler

    The damage inflicted on family is quite possibly the hardest wound to heal. Some of my family died before I had the chance to really know them. I don't think I can ever forgive my father for doing that. I've forgiven many things, but death is permanent. To this day hearing other members of my family speak of them is painful. I guess it all really boils down to how much of your life was wasted in the bOrg.

    LH

  • A Paduan
    A Paduan

    And they made such an effort to convince you that there wasn't a hell.

    "Lo, it was for my welfare that I had great bitterness; but thou hast held back my life from the pit of destruction...."

  • Special K
    Special K

    Hi holycheeses

    You said,

    "The witness religion is no place for mature adults, much less small children who have no way of fully understanding the standards they are expected to meet as impressed upon them as bible principles by misguided parents. Being dragged door to door, boring meetings, associating with moronic children of other dubs. My sons suffered unnecessary torment at school from their peers"

    I agree as far as the young children. I too, suffered unnecessary torment in school from peers because of all the celebrations I couldn't participate in. Sometime I just feel that I missed out on the whole social development thing because of the segregation I felt while in school. It was just plain horrible for me. I hated school because of it. Felt like a JW misfit, which I was.

    sincerely

    Special K

  • xjw_b12
    xjw_b12

    ((( Cheeses ))) Not your typical post.

    I prefer to reflect on the positive. My wife and children are out. My parents are out. And I never give up hope for my other relatvies on both sides of the family. I've been able to rekindle past friendships, and begin new ones.

    And I will never stop in my personal crusade to eduacate others of the dangers and pitfalls of organized religion, especially "that" one.

  • xjw_b12
    xjw_b12

    Oh and congratulations on a Winston Smith style 1000th post! What do we call you now? "Holy Jedi"?

  • TheSilence
    TheSilence

    Hello, Cheeses,

    I would like to address one line of your post. Speaking of your sons you said:

    Rightly, they feel some resentment to my wife and I as parents for the strife they endured as witness children.

    My dad raised me as a witness and I went through all the things you mentioned. Eventually one has to accept a few facts in life. Our parents are not perfect. My dad was is a victim, too. He did wrong things to me that hurt and that I will never forget in the name of the witnesses... but he did them for the right reasons. He truly believed he was doing what he had to do to save my life, he did them because of his love for me.

    I hope your sons appreciate the fact that you were strong enough as parents to get out. To this day I can see the pain and fear in my dad's eyes that his god will kill me at armageddon. Your sons have a safe place to talk about the effects this religion had on them to real people who understand, not everyone is so lucky.

    Please don't feel guilty that you made a mistake. You were a victim and you did the best you could with the situation you were in.

    I hope one day I can say the same thing to my own dad ;)

    Jackie

  • Vivamus
    Vivamus

    Cheeses, here's a for ya. Be proud of yourself, having spend so much time in the borg, and yet you managed to see what they were all about. It takes courage to leave a life behind you in search for greener pastures, and you did.

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