JW's can't end an engagement to marry someone.
When my teenage engagement to A JW sister ended, I was asked to state who had brought the relationship to an end because that person would be summoned to appear before a JC.
I was astonished at this infringement on a person's freedom.
Here's the WT's take on this:
Questions
from Readers?
Is it proper for a Christian who is engaged to be married to break off that engagement??A. H., U.S.A.Marriage is a gift from God that can bring happiness and fulfillment to an individual; yet it also brings serious responsibilities, so it should not be taken lightly. While in some places parents still arrange the betrothal of their offspring, in many societies a single adult is allowed the freedom to select a mate. If two Christians in this latter situation agree or promise to marry, they can be expected, under normal circumstances, to keep their word.
Before a person agrees to a thing, he should give it the forethought the matter demands. Then when he gives his word, he can follow Jesus? advice to "let your word Yes mean Yes, your No, No." (Matt. 5:37) Special solemn oaths are not needed by Christians in order to make their words believable. When one says something, he should mean it.
So when two Christians have reached an agreement that they are going to marry, their word should stand. No special public statement or act is usually needed, though often such is made. In discussing "Breach of Promise of Marriage," American Jurisprudence, Volume 8, pages 849 and 850, said: "No particular form of words is necessary to give rise to the [betrothal]; it is sufficient that the minds of the parties have met and that the engagement is mutually agreed upon."
Of course, it is not an engagement when a proposal only has been made, but not accepted. The same legal book said: "The promise by one party without a corresponding promise to him is only an offer of marriage and not a contract [engagement]." (Page 849) Thus when we speak of an engagement, we mean a mutual agreement involving the honest word of both parties.
Engagement was considered so serious among the Hebrews that a betrothed woman was spoken of as the man?s wife, though, of course, he could not have relations with her until they actually were married. (Gen. 29:21; Matt. 1:18, 19) The engaged woman had a legal standing different from an unengaged virgin. (Ex. 22:16, 17; Deut. 22:23-29) This highlights the importance of the engaged state.
Are there, though, any things that would justify the one-sided breaking of an engagement? It would be a very rare situation that would justify a mature Christian?s one-sidedly doing so. Fraud or concealment of vital facts might justify ending an engagement. Let us give two examples: A woman deliberately concealed the fact that she was not Scripturally free to marry, and she accepted the proposal of a man who had made limited inquiry about her marital state. If later he learned that she was not yet in position to marry, he would be justified in canceling the engagement. In fact, he would be Scripturally obliged to do so. (Matt. 5:32) Or if a man willfully lied to cover facts so that a woman would accept his proposal, her learning of the facts and of his lying might lead her to end the engagement. (Col. 3:9) In these cases, the spiritually older men responsible to guard the moral purity of the Christian congregation would want to know of such dishonesty so steps could be taken to protect other Christians.
In other cases, where a valid reason does not exist, the one-sided breaking of an engagement would indicate instability and immaturity. Obviously, that sort of person could not be put before the congregation as an example of Christian maturity. If a male in the Christian congregation did this, he would not qualify for responsibilities in the congregation. Overseers and ministerial servants are to be "free from accusation," and this one would hardly be that. (1 Tim. 3:10) If he does not know his own mind and cannot honor his word in regard to marriage, will he be able to do so in other matters? He needs to grow to maturity....................................................................
Englishman.