a friend lost

zev

On Thursday, the 21st, I lost a dear friend.
he was an older man, some 25 years older than me. he was NOT a dub. we became friends over 10 years ago because of a mutual hobby, that of ham radio, or amateur radio if you prefer. we belonged to a club and we saw things differently than the rest. he left the club, as did I and many others. we had something in common there. the reason this loss will take its toll, and the reason I will miss him so, is because, every day for the better part of 6 years or more, we always had and interesting chat on the radio. everyday for the last 4 years, it was a regular thing, seeing as how my trip home was an hour drive, to find us on the radio talking about anything and everything. we had other common interests also, radio, computers, and various other hobbies. 6 months ago his health started to fail. when ever he needed anything, and it was rare, I told him, say the word, its not a problem. and yes, I would rearrange a thing or two to accommodate him. why? because that's what friends are for. no if's no ands and no buts. there was no stipulations, no demands...just being the friends we were, even with the large gap in our ages. when he called me and said, come over, I need you to move my computers, I went right away. I knew then the outlook was grim, but he was always hopeful, always had the positive approach, even after being admitted this last time to the hospital, the final time, he thought he would get out and take up other hobbies to pass the time and keep him busy. the cancer got him first however. I was glad I made the frequent trips to the hospital to see him, rather than just radio chat. he was too week for that. and the last time I saw him was Wednesday night. I knew it was the last. on Thursday morning his girlfriend called me at work to tell me that he had passed away. it was not a shock. she asked if I would be a pall bearer for him. of course I said yes. tonight I went to his wake, and tomorrow I will go to his funeral. although a horrible thing to say, I find relief in the fact that he is no longer suffering in so much pain as he was. I will miss him dearly. those long drives home will never be quite the same.

good bye my friend.
until we meet again.

Gramps
__
zev
Now feeling the pain of sitting on the pickets class.

waiting

hey zev,

You proved yourself to be a good friend to a friend. No little thing - and he obviously considered you a companion, even someone who he could ask a favor from in time of need.

You did a fine thing for another. I'm sorry you've lost your friend, but - as you said - at least he's not suffering any longer.

Take care.

waiting

DannyBear

Zev,

Sorry for your loss of a good friend. They are to precious and to few.

One thing for sure, you can be proud of the way you supported that friend. Even if you were the only one, he had something from you that absolutly made his final days alot easier...I've spent enough time around hospitals to know, many die alone with no one mourning the loss.

Thanks for relating the story.

Danny

Cautious

I'm sorry for your loss Zev. It is hard to lose a friend, they are so precious. Being relieved that he is not suffering anymore is not horrible. A true friend would never want the other to suffer.

Take care
Cautious

somebody

zev,

I can feel the loss in your life that you are feeling. I was there listening, day after day, as you and your friend chatted over the radio. Talking about ups,downs, and every part of life in between. Including cars and airplanes.

Remember the time he was returning shorts that were bought for him that were way too big? He said that they were so big that you and him both could fit in them. Your reply was something on the idea of,"That's something that I dont want to imagine." He laughed at that because he probably had that mental image of the two of you in a pair of shorts together in his head.

I listened to the both of you talking on the radio, and listened to you both laugh together. You gave laughs and smiles to him , as he did for you. Keep that in mind as you try to cope with the loss of him, your friend. Like I said once before, time only, heals.

I'm sorry for the loss of your friend.

luv ya.

peace,
somebody

Roamingfeline

(((((((((((Zev)))))))))))) I feel for your pain. One thing to remember, you were everything to this man that a good friend should be. Some people don't even know how to be a friend like that, and their lives are so much more barren for never having learned and experienced what you have. I'm sure this man treasured your friendship. My deepest sympathy goes out to you.

RCat

outnfree

(((((Zev))))))

You certainly are a warm and caring person! Your friend was indeed lucky to have known you.

It will be tough for quite a while without him -- I had a friend with whom I spoke daily, on [i]her/i] ride home from work, until I left the Borg and lost her friendship -- but it will get easier. Somebody is right, time heals. Meanwhile, we deal with the raw feelings as best we can.

Loss is never easy. But you would not feel the loss so sharply if you had not shared a friendship together so warmly.

My sincere sympathy,

outnfree

RedhorseWoman

***HUGS***** So sorry for your loss, Zev. You were fortunate to have such a precious gift. Many people go through life without being blessed with a special friendship.

think41self

Zev,

My heart goes out to you buddy...especially since I think you probably needed his friendship now more than ever. I am so glad you were able to be a true friend to him...and attending his funeral will probably provide some solace to you.

I recently attended a "worldly" funeral for an elderly client of ours who I had grown quite fond of...and sitting there listening to the service, without the preconceived biases I had as a Witness, I found it quite beautiful...and simple. I think the loved ones were very comforted. I compare that to the witness funerals where everyone tells the loved ones only how much they should look forward to seeing their loved one in the new system. Where is the laughter and tears over shared memories, the honoring of that person? It is buried in dogma...and they don't get to really grieve.

Take care my friend...and grieve for your friend.

Tracy

esther

Zev, I am so sorry for your loss, but I am glad that you got to see him when you knew it would be the last time.

At least you won't have the 'if only I could have....' feeling.

(((((Zev))))))

Deepest sympathy to you, Zev

esther

a friend lost

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