Beauty..Where is it? What is it?

ISP

What makes someone 'beautiful' to you? Has it changed over the years, so that you consider something else? What attracts you to someone? For men it is often what inspires lust. But for long term partners do we think the same? After all there family issues like children to consider. What about the ladies.....do they choose the 'tall, dark and handsome' type of guy? Would it surprise you to learn that women prefer an average-looking professional to a good looking manual worker? In lonely hearts columns men nearly always put information about their wealth whereas women do not. Typically they state whether they are financially secure, have a car and a home owner. Women concentrate on their attractiveness and 'fun' personality. Is it a 'Marlboro Man' look complete with massive amounts of testosterone? Or does that make you think the guy might have aggressive tendencies? Or would it be the Leonardo DiCaprio/Johnathon Rhys Meyers feminine type look that may suggest a caring and affectionate person?

So how about it.......?

ISP

logical

Seeker

What is beauty to me? Primarily the inner person. I wish I could say I'm not so shallow as to care about the outward appearance, but alas, I do care somewhat. I'm flexible, and will bend quite a bit in that area, but there has to be some spark, some connection on a physical level.

That said, I really do care more about the inner person. I've known some "plain" folks who have become beautiful to me after I got to know them. And I've known some "beautiful" persons who became ugly in my eyes as I saw who they were inside.

What I like:

Intelligence.
Humor.
Easy-going nature.
Loyalty.
Loving and demonstrably affectionate.

What causes lust in me:

All of the above coupled with an openness about sexuality.

What I don't care about:

Money.
Status.
Emphasis on surface matters.
Talking about people, rather than talking about ideas.

...and that's how you keep a Tigger happy! :)

hybridous

It is such a cliche, maybe 'cause it's so true, but beauty truely is...'in the eye of the beholder'. Beyond that, nothing else matters.

Sunchild

This question is actually part of the reason why I figured out I'm a lesbian. No matter how I wanted to or told myself I could and should, I could never see past a man's looks, no matter how much I liked him otherwise. Is he five pounds overweight? That's disgusting. I don't want him touching me. Does he look... well... too masculine? Ugly. I don't want him touching me. With a woman, though, looks don't really matter as long she treats me right and we have enough in common. It isn't something I can help, though I tried to for awhile. But I think I'm only about a 5 on the Kinsey scale, not a 6:

Or would it be the Leonardo DiCaprio/Johnathon Rhys Meyers feminine type look that may suggest a caring and affectionate person?

Assuming that Leo has slimmed back down.... I wouldn't really want either of them for myself, but I can't say I'd mind seeing them make out with each other.

*Rochelle.

---------
"Most men complacently accept 'knowledge' as 'truth'. They are sheep, ruled by fear."
-- Sydney Losstarot, "Vagrant Story."

somebody

Hello, my friend, ISP

I think as Seeker does:

I've known some "plain" folks who have become beautiful to me after I got to know them. And I've known some "beautiful" persons who became ugly in my eyes as I saw who they were inside.

I find that to be SO TRUE.

And once you get to know a person, no matter what they look like, I guess it all boils down to what hybridous said:

beauty truely is...'in the eye of the beholder'. Beyond that, nothing else matters.

ISP, you're a person I like, and enjoy talking to.

peace,
somebody... of the BSW class .

somebody

Rochelle,

Thanks for your insight and your humor with it. You're a beautiful woman.

peace,
somebody

Suzis Ghost

ISP,

Very good question. For me personally, it's a tough one to answer. Like Sunchild, I like women, but I mostly prefer men.
In a woman I'm more forgiving as far as looks go, because the true beauty of the woman to me is inside. How her mind works, her outlook on life, those are what make her beautiful to me. I can appreciate the "handsome" woman to the "elfin" types. I like the closeness of the relationship.

With men, hmmmm ... tougher still. I like the tall dark handsome guy, and I'm a lot less forgiving. Symmetry is a large factor in what I look for. They have to be in proportion to their bodies, but they also have to be taller than me (no challenge, I'm 5'2). I like the femininity of "goth" guys, and I like the healthier robustness of the jocks. Ultimately it comes down to a combination of looks and personality. If a guy is smart and decent looking, and can make me laugh, he's my type, but if a guy is gorgeous and obnoxious, with no real intelligence, I find him to be a disappointment.

I like men with chest hair. Men should be somewhat manly, while I like women to be more on the feminine side.

Ultimately it comes down to pheromones and smells for me, also. I have to like the person's "scent". They can reek of body odor while working outdoors, but their "scent" is underneath all that. A shower can take care of BO. No matter how gorgeous the person is, their scent is what makes or breaks whether I'll get involved with them. If I don't like their scent, I'll just be friends and nothing more.

That's just my opinions tho. I don't expect anyone to live by them. beauty is a combination of everything that makes up a person you can fall in love with. When you fall in love, it seems like your partner becomes more and more attractive to you.

A perfect way to describe what I find beautiful is how beautiful the object of my attention can make ME feel. That doesn't mean I go looking for ugly people just so I'll look better next to them, gawd, no. I perceive a person to be beautiful when our time spent together makes me feel accepted and more than human. When the bond surpasses looks and goes straight to the soul. Romanticism at its finest.

Suzi

ISP

Hey thanks so far……….

Seeker
Thanks for your contribution. I think you have it right for someone looking for a long term partner. If you are looking to have a family those qualities are very important.

Intelligence.
Humor.
Easy-going nature.
Loyalty.
Loving and demonstrably affectionate.

These are likely to result in stable, happy, fulfilling situation. Basically if the above was coupled with nice looks….you’ve about got the perfect mixture!
Hybridous

It is such a cliche, maybe 'cause it's so true, but beauty truely is...'in the eye of the beholder'. Beyond that, nothing else matters.

I think that is true in the sense we will always argue over who is more fanciable. Is it Britney or Anna Kournikova. We each have our personal tastes as to who is a goddess or god for that matter.

Where it is not true is that people the world over agree on what faces are beautiful. This is true whether judging men or women or people from outside our racial group. Interestingly…in 1993 anthropologists Jones and Hill journeyed to 2 isolated tribes of Indians in Venezuela and Paraguay. These tribes had seen very few people outside their own village. No TV etc. They were shown a range of photos of women from different cultures and were asked to rate them on beauty. Their results were compared to the same tests in developed countries such as the US, Russia and Brazil. There was little difference in the results. In short people were attracted to women with delicate jaws and chins and large eyes.

Rochelle
Thanks for giving me your perspective!

BSW
I think we are of the same mind!

Suzi
You took matters in a different direction and I wonder if many had considered this…….

Ultimately it comes down to pheromones and smells for me, also. I have to like the person's "scent". They can reek of body odor while working outdoors, but their "scent" is underneath all that. A shower can take care of BO. No matter how gorgeous the person is, their scent is what makes or breaks whether I'll get involved with them. If I don't like their scent, I'll just be friends and nothing more.

You also said

Symmetry is a large factor in what I look for.

Two very important features which are not entirely unconnected. Pheromones were largely unknown until the ‘80s. These ‘aromas’ which we give up are undetectable but are taken into our olfactory organs……and they do alter our behaviour……particularly with sexual attraction. Suzy, I guess you have checked out what Thornhill and Grammer did. For those that don’t know, these biologists tested the effects of pheremones on humans. They asked a number of men to sleep in the same T-shirt for 3 nights, with NO deodorant! The shirts took on the pheromones of the men. Meanwhile they measured the men’s faces for symmetry A group of women were asked to assess the attractiveness of the faces and they favoured those with symmetry. Another group of women were given the T-shirts and asked to rate the ‘smell’. The surprising result was that the men with the most symmetrical faces produced the nicest smelling shirts……but only when the women were ovulating…..i.e. when nature was suggesting something!

Check the Link >> http://evolution.humb.univie.ac.at/institutes/urbanethology/beautypro.html

ISP

BugEye

Behind their eyes

BugEye

Beauty..Where is it? What is it?

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