A Million Questions (page 2)

ConcernedMom

Thank you for your replies so far. I have been really leary of discussing this with the family because I don't want them to think I am at all interested in joining. A friend once went to a coworker JW's funeral and it took her weeks to get them to stop phoning. Recently when I was picking up my daughter from their house, we were talking about her Canada Cord ceremony (Girl Guide award) and the mom said she had only gone as far as Brownies but her sister had stayed in all the way to Rangers (senior branch). I would have thought that Guiding would have been off limits because of the emphasis on patriotism (promising to be true to God, the Queen and your country...) so I thought perhaps she hadn't been raised JW. My daughter asked her bf and he said that she had--that both sides of the family were JW. I know the rest of the family does attend meetings because on several occasions, they have picked bf up afterwards, all dressed up (usually Thursday nights if that means anything to you.) I really don't feel that bf is just out for a quick (fill in your own blank)--at least less so than other 17 year old boys I have met. If anything, he seems a little naive. I do worry that, when this ends--as it almost inevitably will because of their ages--if it has anything to do with his religion, my daughter will be made to feel that she is being rejected as sinful or dirty in some way. Generally, DD has always been very stong-willed. She has never gotten the concept of "go with the flow". She is highly (self)motivated as far as school goes--honour student--and plans to become a psychiatrist. She told the family all this the first time they met. She has met the extended family (aunts, uncles, grandma) from both sides so she isn't being kept a "secret".

ConcernedMom

OT: why can't I get paragraphs?? Does it have anything to do with me using a Mac (OS X using Safari...maybe I should try IE??)

outoftheorg

I would say that is the paragraph problem. If i recall correctly SIMON the owner of this forum has it set up primarily for Microsoft.

I use IE and it works ok.

Outoftheorg

PS GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR DAUGHTER.

btw GOOD LUCK is something that jw's are not to say.

goofy huh,

RandomTask

They sound like real "reformed" JW's. Just sort of hangers on but not too serious about it.

XQsThaiPoes

That?s because a bad as exjws try to knock it JWism is a really shallow faith that has gone untenable changes in only a few short years. ever old exes like garybuss has noticed it. The memorials are like 9 million and the jws barely have 6 million people. Jwism fluctuates between 5.5 million and 6.5 million publishers each year. That means over 1 million people reported time then some how stop during the year. I am aggressively rounding numbers to make a point and they may be off a few 100 grand but that is a huge chunk for such a small group. Considering to be counted you have to knock on a door.

So I believe there will be more "reformed" jws. The culprit the wts imploding its doctrine. The whole us vs them paradigm for some reason has been eroded by oddly the new light and the wtlib. The candid personal research of those articles alone makes it easy for a jw to behave like this considering all the changes. It also adds relief "whew I can act normal this watchtower cd says so". Anyone now can selectively quote a watchtower to allow for almost anything.

ConcernedMom

In a way, I think it would actually be easier if they were a little stricter about their own rules because we wouldn't be living in this "gray" area. They will let this continue as if everything is normal but, I think, if push came to shove, the rules would prevail. Oy vay!! (just for a little cultural diversity...)

concerned mama

I couldnt agree more, Concerned Mom. If a JW guy isn't supposed to be going out with"worldly girls" and he does believe in JW stuff, he should just stick to JWs and quit messing with the emotions and heads of the normal girls.

Eddie

The answer to this puzzling question is simple. As a teenage JW, I knew of or had several friends who were not baptized and they had boyfriend or girlfriends outside of "the truth." Your daughters boyfriend is not really considered a "true witness" and therefore he cannot get into trouble or be formally counseled by the elders of the congregation for dating outside of the truth. His family is being kind and accepting because they know that he is not going to find a "good little witness girl" anyway, since he is not baptized. I'm also sure that they are hoping that, eventually, their son and his new love (your daughter) are going to see how wonderful they are as a family and an organization and they will both come to the realization that they want to be happy, baptized JW's and make happy little baby JW's and everything will be perfect in the end. Trust me, they will not give up on this hope! They will constanly pressure her, however subtly that may be, to see how right that they are. It really depends on him because if he is torn at all on his beliefs or pleasing his family, then it will be difficult for your daughter to understand why he won't do certain things. The psychological effects that being raised in the JW org carry are not easily broken. It carries a lot of guilt with it. He is lucky that he was never baptized, so that they cannot disfellowship him someday. I was baptized when I was 12 years old and had no clue whatsoever what I was doing. My father was an elder and my mother was a pioneer. I lived for years under this rule until I finally married "outside of the truth" and was made to feel rebelious and ashamed of my choice. I did not stop attending the meetings until 8 years later when I was disfellowshiped. Now, for some reason, it all seems so clear!

GentlyFeral

Welcome, Concerned Mom.

Just in case this hasn't been addressed:

She is also freaked out by the whole blood issue (and scared that if anything happened when she was with them, she would be mistaken for a JW and not saved with a transfusion). I can just picture if they were in some little fender-bender and she ended up in ER with a minor sprain or something. She'd be screaming frantically "Give me blood! Give me blood!"

She doesn't have to worry. Hospital personnel will not honor the no blood rule unless the patient is carrying on her person JW-approved documents to that effect, approved by the Watchtower Society. And they will look for them.

This is one of the reasons they ask for your religion during the admissions process.

GentlyFeral

codeblue

Welcome to the board Concerned Mom!!!

Very interesting situation....and I am glad you are doing your research. Many have posted that the JW family doesn't sound quite right....I was raised as one and dating was NOT allowed till you were ready for marriage...but there are varying degrees of how a person or family chooses to live and can still be a JW...

Anyways....I want to recommend 2 books for you to read by Steve Hassan. They are: "Combatting Cult Mind Control" (JW's are not mentioned at all, but when he outlines cults...you would have thought he was talking about the JW's as well) and his 2nd book: Releasing the Bonds. Get your daughter to read these books as well.

I am happy to learn that your daughter is an honor student and has plans of being a pychiatrist, that is exciting!!!

Codeblue

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