I'm speaking hypothetically of course, but:
If a 23 year old male teacher had sex with my 14 year old daughter, I would be in a murderous rage. If he didn't wind up with the flash suppressor of my HK98 up his nostril it would be because he stayed the hell away from me.
If a 23 year old female teacher had sex with my 14 year old son, I certainly wouldn't be happy about it, but neither would I be overly concerned about the long-term effects on him either.
Is this inconsistent? Is this irrational? Yes, I suppose it is. At the same time though, as the father of a 14 year old daughter, I can't honestly say that all things seem equal to me in comparison.
My daughter is quite sensitive. When I was 14, I had the emotional sensitivity (and the sense) of a brick. Even at 14, loud noises still upset her. When she was younger, they would make her cry. When I was 14, I lived for loud noises. Rocking the whole neighborhood with acetylene balloons and canon fuse was a favorite passtime.
My daughter's interest in boys still revolves around friendship rather than sexual desire. By the time I was 14, I had been fantasizing about every attractive female of any age for several years at least.
Most importantly for purposes of this discussion, my 14 year old daughter's relationship with men revolves completely around trust. She relates to men she can trust and this trust is still a very delicate, innocent thing. This includes her father, her grandfathers, a handful of her uncles and a few of her teachers. All men of high moral quality that she respects. If it ever happened, it would be the violation of this trust that would put me over the edge into a murderous rage.
When I was 14, I was way past the point where my mother was able to discipline me, both physically and mentally. That was exlusively the purview of my father at this point, and we went nose to nose at the top of our lungs many times. At 14, I already felt protective towards women as a group. I knew that many were older, smarter, and much more experienced than I was, but frankly, that was exciting. I had long since discarded as a relic of childhood, the idea that I needed to trust their motives. That was something for little boys who ran to their mommies when they were hurt.
Please understand, I'm not trying to defend this woman. She should absolutely be prosecuted.
If I'm defending anything, I guess it's the attitude of the other males on this thread. It's just hard for us to see it it the same light as the victimization of a little girl.
