I am New here and Have a question of utmost importance ! Please Help

by globug 25 Replies latest jw experiences

  • globug
    globug

    Hi . I have a grandaughter that has told me that she Loves Satan and that he rules. She draws Awful pictures of Dark clowns and writes Die And Kill on the side of it,. I am afraid for her welbeing. I am just her gardian for a while because she was in a really difficult situation. She is just 14 last week. Today she told me that she Loved the devil and hated God. What do I do. I am beside myself and actually a little frightened as to her wanting to die. She said it all started about 2 and 1/2 years ago when her mom forbid her to come over to visit. Its really sad and I just don't know what to do. She has changed so much and it frightenes me. Does any one have any ideas. I am praying for her. I use to go to the Kingdom hall with her as a baby but then her mom took her away to live in a drug and bad invirnment. Please help me if you can.

    Hugs

    Globug

  • searcher
    searcher

    Sounds like you need to get her into Therapy/Counselling as soon as possible, she seems to have some deep issues.

  • ohiocowboy
    ohiocowboy

    So sorry to hear about this. Hopefully Lady Lee will see this post soon-(She is a therapist), and she would probably be able to give you some guidelines. I really cannot answer your question, but I do hope that things work out well for you and your granddaughter.

  • Lehaa
    Lehaa

    I know teenyears can be soo hard. There is sooo much negative spiritualistic stuff around at he moment that has such a negative influence on kids.

    My step brother is 16 and is going through a very similar stage, my mum is really scared for him.

    I'd just keep a really close eye on her, she may just be diong it to see what kin of reaction she gets.

    I'd try talking with her and finding out why she feels this way. There may be something else going on.

    Hope this helps a little and Lady Lee can help, she's great.

    Lehaa

  • avishai
    avishai

    I had a friend do this as a RESULT of being dragged to the kh, she did'nt wanna go due to the abuse she had recieved there, and did it to shock her mom.

    She just got her phd last year and is doing fine. Her mom however is still nuts. I agree, though, get her to counseling, real counseling, not the elders, as they are untrained for this kind of therapy. all they will likely say is study more, go out in field service, etc., etc., and you will get better. If she actually has a chemical imbalance, this won't do anything to help!

    ((((((globug)))))

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    globug - First welcome to the forum. You will get a lot of support here.

    I have to agree with what the others have already posted. it sounds like there are some issues your granddaughter needs to talk about with a professional. Very often the type of behavior and comments that she is making is an indicator of problems. You have identified the problem and are doing the right thing - asking for help. Try your local children's hospital or a clinic. Her family doctor may be able to help point you in the right direction. if you live in a larger city try the front of your telephone book. It often has a list of emergency phone numbers. Believe me they prefer you call before it becomes an emergency and they help avoid it rather than wait too long.

    Get all the information you can from the people who are trained to deal with this. The elders are not trained and may actually try to prevent you from getting the help you and she need.

    Best wishes to both of you

  • trumangirl
    trumangirl

    I'm no expert on these issues, but I was thinking the Satan thing might be designed to shock, a rebellion thing, rather than a sign of any mental illness or occult participation. Kinda like rock bands that put on a scary persona on the video when in reality they're just average joes.

    If an opportune moment comes up, you could try asking her straight up questions, like "Why does satan appeal to you?". Ask in a neutral, interested manner, as if you're finding out about a stamp-collecting hobbie, and don't respond to her answers with shock or judgment. As a former JW who was brought up in the 'truth', I know there is nothing more off-putting than an adult who judges you, which we had a lot of as teenagers. Her fascination with satan may be a subconscious response to a feeling of unworthiness - ie, "I'm unworthy, so I might as well be really bad".

    I'm sure she senses that you love her, if you keep listening to her and showing her interest and understanding, that is going to have a big affect on her, even if she goes a bit wild for a while, she will always know that someone in her family cares about her. Therapy can be a good idea but it's no substitute to family members who love her.

    I hope it works out.

  • Abaddon
    Abaddon

    It sounds like a 14 year-old whose gone down the drama-queen avenue and listened to Marylin Manson record's without realising that it is a joke.

    The only creature on this planet capable of feeling more sorry for itself than a 14 year-old is a right-wing white American male. To listen to either of them you'd think they were the most deprived and discriminated against of all animals.

    And there's nothing like 'coming-out' as a Satan-worshipper to spook people.

    Don;t over react, or you will find that a 14 year-old is playing you and having fun with it. She probably knows your fear of demons and the devil. The good news is that you need have no fear of such things. They don't exist.

    What are here grades? Same as ever or getting worse?

    Is her weight stable?

    Have you seen her partially clothed recently, to an extent whwre you could see if she was cutting herself or such like (number of sel-harming teenagers I've seen is nasty)?

    Has she ever been in trouble at school or with the police?

    Does she do what she's expected to do around the house?

    Does she have suspiciously large amounts of cash or possesions you don't know how she afforded?

    Are her sleeping patterns normal?

    Does she ever seem "out of it", as though she were drinking? Or behave in strange waysm, perhaps finding everything amusing?

    Do you ever smell smoke on her?

    Are her pupils ever massively dilated?

    Does she find it impossible to get out of bed?

    If she just says she loves Satan, but gets good grades, has no nasty scars on her arms, and is showing no signs of other disfunctions or harmful/illegal behaviours... let her have her teenage conceits.

    If there are OTHER signs she's not coping well, talk to het and consider getting professional advice.

    Remember though, due to your beliefs you will tend to over-react to her behavius, and she likely knows this.

  • avishai
    avishai
    The only creature on this planet capable of feeling more sorry for itself than a 14 year-old is a right-wing white American male

    Oh, C'MON, abbadon Knock it off, this is low even for you, stick to the subject. most of your advice was good, but that's NOT OK!!! Don't bring your political views into a discussion w/ someoe who obviously needs help!!!!

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee
    She draws Awful pictures of Dark clowns and writes Die And Kill on the side of it,. I am afraid for her welbeing. I am just her gardian for a while because she was in a really difficult situation. She is just 14 last week. Today she told me that she Loved the devil and hated God. What do I do. I am beside myself and actually a little frightened as to her wanting to die. She said it all started about 2 and 1/2 years ago when her mom forbid her to come over to visit. Its really sad and I just don't know what to do. She has changed so much and it frightenes me. Does any one have any ideas. I am praying for her. I use to go to the Kingdom hall with her as a baby but then her mom took her away to live in a drug and bad invirnment.

    There are some important clues that this girl is not just a drama queen.

    • Separation from parents
    • Past history with the JWs and their devil scare tactics
    • removal from the mother's care possibly dur to drug use and a bad environment
    • grandmother has custody
    • was in a difficult situation
    • writing die and kill on her drawings
    • she has "changed so much"

    We don't have all the facts and they shouldn't be posted here. Enough info was provided to show the girl might benefit from some professional help. At the very least getting a professional opinion about how to handle this wouldn't be a bad thing

    Therapy can be a good idea but it's no substitute to family members who love her.

    The love of family can help but it cannot replace therapy when needed. Too often people think they can love a person into being healthy. Sorry but it just doesn't work that way.

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