JW's commit the biggest sin IMO, wasting time pretending that...

by Fleur 6 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Fleur

  people who are alive, are dead.

  in their half witted brain washed wtBtS indoctrination, they are taught that they have to shun people they love if they find themselves out of the borg's good graces. Doesn't matter what the 'crime' is, could be simply disagreeing with something in a WT article, could be any one of a million things. it's not always the "big F" that gets people disfellowshipped. And even in cases where that IS it there are usually extenuating circumstances and people are just trying to do their best.

  If you're a JW lurker on here, I want you to go to the thread Puternut started and read about the accident his daughter was in today. She's okay, thank, well, whomever you want to thank, I don't thank god cause i'm agnostic. but anyway, read that and then think again how much sense it makes to shun people who are STILL HERE!

  To me one of the biggest sins a person can make is to be arrogant. and there is nothing more arrogant than turning away from someone who loves you because the WTS tells you to. Who are YOU to sit in judgement of another's soul? Who are YOU to decide that someone isn't fit to speak to their family ever again because they left someone who abused them, or some other thing you likely have no clue the real reasons for?

  I PLEAD with you to pick up the phone. Call the person you've been shunning. Tell them that you love them. I have had more than one family member come as close to death as you can get without warning, in an instant in the past few years. luckily for me, they knew how i felt, and i knew how they felt, and they are still with me now.

  but i think that if i were gone tomorrow, there would be a lot left unsaid between me and my family. i say as much as i can, every chance i get no matter how small. but they would regret, i think, wasting the time.

  don't do it. it's not worth it. don't waste time.

  *tears*

  hugs

  fleur

  (sorry, a bit emotional tonight)
• 

  Confucious

  I think the real thing that is hurtful, is the lack of understanding of circumstances.
  
  And there is also a very skewed point of what is and what isn't "proof of repentance."
• 

  Oroborus21

  Well said, thoughtful and touching Fleur.

  -Eduardo
• 

  Sunspot

  Essie, you couldn't have said it better, Sweetie.

  I often think about this myself. I've already been the victim of not being told about a family member dying until AFTER the fact---on three occasions---and I COULD have sent a card or flowers or something but I was not given the opportunity to do so. My "punishment" goes WAY beyond "just not speaking to me" ala WTS, but really DEEP and hurtful things have been done to me.

  Somehow, just by discovering the lies of the WTS and deciding to not be a JW any longer, is the excuse that many JWs use to cling to an organization and spit in the face of those they love---or DID love at one time.

  I've been subject to outright lies by my superfine-pioneer-elder's-wife daughter, (things I have never done nor would even THINK of doing) that have been viciously spread throughout my family---and I have no way to correct these lies or face my accuser. People have no idea of the impact this hideous shunning and the even more hideous "religion" HAS on the victims. I feel bad because so many nice people have been affected, and with these lies, how unfairly we exes have been treated.

  I have no idea how or when things will come to light, and the WTS will be held accountable for their actions in this regard. The JWs have lost their souls to the WTS and follow whatever direction it tells them to---their basic concepts of the humane treatment of others no longer exists---so they are (unwitting) victims too. The JWs have more "love", compassion and caring in starting a bible study with someone, than they have for nonJWs in their own families.

  I've had people say that I should "get over it" and get on with things---why do I put so much time into posting on boards like this, etc, etc. Mostly because I CAN'T put it behind me, when I keep getting kicked in the teeth over and over, even though I have no DESIRE to have anything to DO with the WTS or its control---but it keeps reappearing and resurfacing no matter HOW I try and avoid it. My only recourse IS to post my feelings and vent when necessary......and point out as often as I can---the stupid doctrines and "reasonings" that ARE the WTS.......maybe just ONE person will "see" something I've said and begin on that long road to freedom from the Org.

  I keep hoping JWs will come to their senses and recognize how hateful this shunning practice IS---but I don't see it happening anytime soon, I'm afraid.........

  Love ya, Essie!

  hugs,

  Annie
• 

  Fleur

  i'm so sorry for all you suffer because of their barbaric shunning. i have often thought that if my child grew up and shunned me, i didn't know what i'd do. i still don't. your strength amazes me. (((hug)))

  we've talked about it many times and i've always heard "mom, i don't care what anyone says about you, i could never not talk to you. you're my mom." i can only hope that lasts when teenage years hit and people start trying to mess with her head about me. they have a great arsenal of those outrageous stories to share around, and like you, i can't defend myself.

  this really got me when you said: "I've been subject to outright lies by my superfine-pioneer-elder's-wife daughter)... "

  oh, do i understand that. i have one of those in my immediate family. she thinks, i swear, that she speaks directly for god sometimes and man, she puts the whole family through crap now, not just me. but of course, its all my fault for 'tearing the family apart'. I left jehovah. i am not her spiritual sister anymore, so being her 'fleshly" (GAG) sister means nothing to her.

  i could never be like that. i don't throw people away like last weeks garbage. it especially kills me because she KNEW what my ex put me through, more than anyone else she saw his mistreatment of me up close. do you know what she said? that HE should be df'd instead of me but that it's MY fault for not going to the elders and telling them every nasty, deep dark secret! first of all, my ex would likely seriously have killed me if i had damaged his precious social standing. secondly, like i wanted to tell a room full of self-righteous bloated old enough to be my grandfather elders the things my ex made me do! i don't THINK so!

  as if it would have even helped! i was the po's daughter in law, it never would have flown. my ex could have done the 'eli's sons at the alter' thing and not been df'd.

  i will never understand how they keep it up, shunning i mean, years and years since a person leaves the borg. i just found out an old family friend who is very elderly now has a son who has been shunning his only sibling for 45 years! its like a life sentence without the chance of parole! and she didn't even do anything 'wrong' or immoral when she left either.

  it's unreal. i'm so sorry they hurt you. please know that you are loved and understood.

  ((((((((annie)))))))
• 

  HappyDad

  Fleur,

  Well said and to the point..............many on this board can and have helped some to understand who/what/and where they are in life and what you just stated is very helpful.

  What you and others say can be and most likely has been more beneficial than going to a therapist who doesn't understand what cults do to the mind of individuals.

  HappyDad
• 

  cyber-sista

  Fleur,

  I think of this every day. My sister shunning her 2 beautiful sons, probably for the rest of their lives, if she doesn't wake up and leave her cult religion behind. I remember what a good mom she was to them and how much she loved them. They used to be so precious to her. I look back at our family pictures and I see them all together cuddling in the big easy chair and it tears me up. What happened to my sister? How can a once loving mother harden her heart to her own children. Will she waste all those years being apart from them and wake up one day and find out it is too late? The influence of the JW cult is great and so dangerous to all that is human and sacred.

  I am sorry for all the pain it has caused to everyone and I apologize for ever being a part of it.

  Love you all,

  cybs