Experience with a so called "worldy" person

by mbn36 16 Replies latest jw experiences

  • mbn36
    mbn36

    I just wanna share an experience of mine, I hope it will help anyone with a related issue. Im 20 years old, I still live with my parents and go to school full-time. For 17 years I was a JW on and off.

    When I was 18 I met a lovely girl at work, who just happened to be a Mennonite Christian, what luck eh. The most beautiful and wonderful girl I ever met is the enemy. We both knew are belief differences but still persued a relationship, the draw was just too strong to put aside. After the 1st couple months things were cool and then the ideological fights started and it was like God himself was testing my spirituality. At this point my parents were just deciding to go back to meetings after a year's absence and then they found out about my interest in a certain person that the Borg just wont approve of. Heck if she wasnt religious they probably wouldnt have a beef with her at all, they probably just would've wanted me to slowly reel her in.

    Her and I both couldn't take the fact that our relationship wouldnt work with this kind of indifference. She was absolutely sure of her faith and belief, while I was still a little foggy with mine, so she was counting on a change from my side, or rather a decision as long as I was happy with it.

    We broke off our relationship after a few months, but a few days later we got back together again, trying to reconile and understand each other, even though we still knew it was hard. Aftter those few days it was almost as if God was telling me, "don't give up on this". I started attending her church to get more details, seeing as how I had never known what modern christians believed in. This was an experience I tell you, I thought they were the biggest bunch of weirdos. Telling my parents about this was the only thing I could do, it was bothering me to much, it brought them to a point of breakdown, seeing as how I was just an apostate to them. My dad threatened to kick me out of the house if I didnt stop going to her church. That night hearing what they had to say about what she believed was so heartbreaking, i dropped to the ground, i lost all feeling in my legs. Even though I couldnt defend my reasoning for going, because I really had trouble believing what they had to say, (eg. trinity, the diff. style of singing and such) I kept it up. Then some weeks later I had seen my dad got into a major depression and with drinking. It didnt help that his dad died just a few weeks before. I had to make a decision. I told her that I was going back to the meetings. She was devastated, and things just broke down, it was almost as if we became bitter enemies. But after I did that, something wasnt right, I didnt want that, my heart didnt want it. I never could step foot in a kingdom hall again, it was a strange sensation, something was almost physically holding me back.

    After some talk we got back together, I decided to go to her church again, determined to find something.

    Another 6 months later, we came to a point whereI had to make up my mind, I either commit to the JW faith or change to a christian. It was great to be with her but something was saying, this just isnt right, I felt like i was actually going to die for choosing to be with her and not follow the JW's . A few days later where there was still some comm. between me and here, we couldnt stand being apart. We were comparing our bibles, when I started noticing the little differences that the NWT bible has from the NIV version which didnt make logical sense. I prayed to God to help me with it I and asked if he could just come into my life and fix this mess of a faith I had. Almost instantly my mind opened up, I was looking at what the JW's were saying about blood, heavenly hope, and all of there crap and decided THIS ISNT FOR ME.

    It felt as if this huge brick came off my chest, I was finally unplugged from the collective. From then on I was born again, I was a new person, I actually had a relationship with Christ. For once religion wasnt just listening to a bunch of old farts continue to rant about being a slave for Jehovahs great and mighty organization. It was about how much love Christ displayed for me in his sacrifice and the freedom he gave me and the rest of humanity. From this point I was able to share my experience with my girlfriend and instantly I could learn and actually believe where she was coming from. I still have some conflicting issues from my childhood, the memories and thoughts just dont completly disappear, i dont think they ever will. It almost feels like im learning to walk again with a replacement pair of legs.

    My parents have become more understanding of my situation even thou they still dont fully approve of it. My girlfriend and I have been dating for 2 years now, and I can say I love her to pieces and want to spend the rest of my life with her. As your reading this you may think as a lot of people have, that i was coaxed into this or just doing it to be with her. Your right, for the first few months I was, but from when I decided I didnt want to attend the meetings anymore, I was seriously striving to search for a relationship with god, even at the expense of my girlfriend. I felt so depressed and empty when i was spiritually inactive.

    As a christian, life has never been better, the ability for free thought and a relationship with God, is priceless, I still think it is one of the most important things the JW's are missing. Their stupid time slips and magazine placements are the only things that count, its sad really.

    Now here I am surviving what I thought was going to kill me. I never ever thought things would turn out the way they did, I thought our relationship was doomed to fail no matter what. I thank God all the time for the strength to persevere when i needed it.

    Thanks for listening.

  • kls
    kls

    Welcome to the forum, your love for this girl is amazing and i am really surprised at your parents decission for you not believing the jws religion, that is great. You sound like a person with a big heart.

  • kls
    kls

    Mbn36,start a new post and introduce yourself. No one knows who you are.

  • Sunspot
    Sunspot

    All I can think of to say is CONGRATULATIONS!!

    It really IS a wonderful feeling when you cast off the shackles of the WTS and experience the freedom in Christ! I am delighted for you---and for the love you have found. What a great story!

    hugs,

    Annie

  • codeblue
    codeblue

    Welcome

    Very interesting experience and glad that you have some "inner peace"...

  • Nosferatu
    Nosferatu

    Ah, dating mixed with religion. It's good to hear that it has gone over well with you, and you've actually made the choice to quit the WTS and find happiness in another religion.

    The religion struggle in the dating game is a tough one. Personally, I'm happy that I've eliminated religion out of my life, and have found a woman who has done the same. We come from two completely different worlds, but have found ourselves both on common ground.

    When I was dating, I found myself with women who were into religion. After I left the JWs, religion was a complete turn-off to me. I ditched a girl I had dated for three days after she gave me a card saying she loved me, and also had mentioned god. Both mentions turned me right off.

    Another girl I dated had taken me to her church to listen to the band. The pastor kinda creeped me out with his obsession for taking pictures.

    One girl had invited me to her house for Thanksgiving dinner. The house was full of religious statues, pictures, and christian music playing in the background. Her sister and brother-in-law were highly religious, and I felt incredibly uncomfortable.

    I tried getting one girl out of religion. She was a wannabe feminist. I showed her some of the very feminist statements in the bible (being unclean after a woman's period), and she was absolutely shocked. I think she gave up on religion in the end.

  • anuva
    anuva

    dear friend .o am also in same kinda situation and deeply depressed ...but fighting with help of god..

    the only diffwerent thing is that ..my Gf is a jw in WTS...and whenever i rememer her restricted life ....i have tears........pray that i also get my love

  • Ciara
    Ciara

    mbn36,

    It's always nice to hear from someone else who hasn't allowed the JW's to jade them on religion as a whole. There is a lot of peace to be found in a true relationship with Christ. Welcome to the forum and I look forward to hearing more from you.

    Also welcome, anuva, and good luck in your situation.

    Ciara

  • Double Edge
    Double Edge

    Isn't FREEDOM wonderful..... btw, WELCOME ! Thanks for sharing...I hope you two have a great life together.

  • Snapdragon
    Snapdragon

    Welcome mbn36 and anuva,

    I hope that you both find some answers and some good friends here. I certainly have. mbn, I am pleased that you didn't let go of you love for the girl. If my husband had given up on me before I left, I would have missed one of the largest blessings I've ever had in my life. I hope that your new religion makes you happy.

    anuva, hang in there buddy. It ain't easy, but perhaps your girl will see that it is you that truely loves her, not the elders in her congregation.

    See you both around,

    ~Snapdragon

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