lost and alone

black ghost

I was raised a j.w. for 20+ years and slid out of the back door in 1998(no-one noticed me slide) and when i went out into the big bad world I found i was completely naive and clueless as i had lived in a tiny shell all my life, for example i had never met a gay person and i believed every non member was evil and out to get me.

has anyone any similar experiences?how did you get the past out of your mind and move on? do you still feel disadvantaged or do you think you benefited in any way?

help me! sometimes i feel like i was dead all that time because i never knew what it was like to be 'me'

i'm going to university this year cos i always wanted to but ' wasn't allowed to' as well as not doing music or sport after school cos it invoved 'bad associations'

can i reclaim my time?

Stefanie

I still feel like that sometimes. You are not alone. Just open yourself up to new experiences, and keep an open mind. You have to find yourself and the way to do that is to experiment with your life.

As long as you dont hurt anybody you can do whatever you like

Welcome!

frenchbabyface

Well ... Welcome ! and enjoy your freedom !

calamityjane

welcome Black Ghost. You are not alone in your new found freedom. Enjoy.

I left in my mid-30's and am enjoying life, and making new unconditional friendships.

cj

ohiocowboy

Hello and WELCOME!!!

Yes, a lot of us have gone thru the same things you mentioned. Being raised in the "Truth" we lived very sheltered lives. We lived in the bubble of the WTBTS. Then when we leave, it seems almost overwhelming, because we are now in the "World", and things are much different. The main difference is we learn REALITY of life. It can be quite a shock in the beginning, as we are not used to fending for ourselves outside of the organization, and are left to deal with real issues that affect the world that we live in. Bad thing is, it is really scary. Good thing is, it allows us to finally learn of our own accord, and are able to personally grow, and use our brains, instead of having our growth stunted by an organization that does not want us to see outside the lines. In time, you will feel more comfortable in the fact that you do not have to deal with the issues of guilt, and that you constantly need to do better. You will start living life for YOU, and you will be much happier. It will take time, but in the outcome, you will be able to find the real "You", not what a man made organization wants to mold you into.....

Good luck in your quest, and look forward to hearing more from you!

Farkel

: I found i was completely naive and clueless as i had lived in a tiny shell all my life, for example i had never met a gay person and i believed every non member was evil and out to get me.

Sure you have. Over twenty years in the WT religion, you've met PLENTY in them. Probably went out in field service with them. You met them in the Kingdom Halls and you met them at assemblies.

But due to the WT religion, they had to remain silent. If they spoke out, they would be executed, Watchtower-style. If they secretely practised their gayness, they would live a life of shame and guilt and be convinced their eternal salvation was forever lost. If they stayed in the WT religion and remained celibate, they would live a life of sexual frustration and die without ever receiving the carrot the WTS holds out to all who follow them.

Either way, their lives are made miserable by Watchtower madness. I'm not gay, but there are a number of gay men and lesbian women who are ex-JWs and post on this board. At least one of them served a number of years at the Brooklyn Bethel.

Farkel

codeblue

Welcome!!!

Yes....I know what you mean by that "lost feeling"... I think we all do when we leave something we were "raised in" or had been in for a while.

I was raised as a JW and lived it for 36 years!!! Fortunately my hubby feels the same as me (he was raised as a JW too). We have been fading for a year now.

Best advice I can give you is to meet with some that post from this board.......I have found that it helped my overwhelming feeling that I am now "alone" and learning how to live without the confines of the WTBS.

Doing some reading also helps: The Road Less Traveled by Scott Peck.........a must read to truly understand what unconditional love is and understanding you and your family as well.

I have just read Steve Hassan's books on mind control....Those are must reads as well!!!

Take care and nice reading a bit about you!!!

Codeblue

Carmel

BG, sounds to me like you're doin just fine. Keep on with your University studies, meet new people and observe, ask questions, be a contributor to other people's happiness. The more you reach out to help others the more you will help yourself. You may have led a sheltered life to some extent but don't dwell on it. Keep on learning and you will do just fine.

carmel

mamochan13

you are not alone, Black ghost. I left after almost 40 years. As long as you are doing what you need to do (university, etc.), you will make it. I've only recently discovered just how many of us are out there. You are not alone.

Cassiline

You are not alone Black Ghost welcome to the forum.

Listen, learn and above all live!!

Cassi

lost and alone

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